Free 2 Be Me
by Faulkner
Summary: Ashley McClane is your normal crazy person in a mental institution. With the exception of her odd powers, of course. What happens when an attempted escape leads her to something more than what she ever wanted? Does her life have an actual PURPOSE?
1. Intros And Escapes

Faulkner: Okay. This story has been dancing around in my head for awhile now. It's a bit crazy, but I think you might like it. Give it a chance before you condemn it.  
  
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Stanton Institute For The Mentally Unstable  
  
Yeah, that's where I live. I'm one of the patients at the nut house called Stanton Institute. My name's Ashley McClane and i've been at the Institute for about 13 years. I was sent here by my parents when I was only five because of an accident that changed me forever.  
  
I can remeber that night like it had happened only seconds before. I don't think the memory will ever leave me. Something happened to me that night, something that I can't really explain.  
  
But that night left me with a terrible gift, or curse, that I never asked for.  
  
On that night, I was given the power to take life, and to save it. One was the power to control the most uncontrollable element, fire. The other, to heal anything from a papercut to a mortal wound and cancer.  
  
This has always gotten me into deep shit. It's the reason that i'm in this freakin' loony bin. These powers scared the livin' daylights out of my parents, and they sent me here. They didn't know what to do with me. Because in the beginning, I couldn't control these powers. I would accidentally set something on fire, or heal someone when everyone was watching, and I would have to try to explain it, when I couldn't.  
  
My parents thought me unsafe, so they shipped me here. Shipped me to fuckin' hell on earth.  
  
The surprising thing is, I have actually gotten used to this creepy place. Most of the people in my Block have become family.  
  
I think i'm gonna have to give you a little explanation of the Institute before I continue.  
  
The Stanton Institute is separated into Blocks. There are Blocks A-E and Block Z. Block Z is a place for the dnagerously crazy nutcases. It's also where labotamies and electro-therapies are done. You never want to go there.  
  
Trust me on this.  
  
There are about fifteen people on each Block. The Blocks are all three stories. The rooms take up the third floor, the cafeteria takes up the second, the infirmary and doctors offices take up the first. The Blocks are in a kind of circle, (except for Block Z. It is off to a corner of the Institute) with the Recreation Room in the middle. They are all connected by halls with security checkpoints.  
  
A fifteen foot chainlink fence with barbed wire on the top surrounds the facility. There's a basketball court and a football field on the grounds. Only the most trusted patients are allowed on the grounds.  
  
Okay, now just a little bit more about me. I'm tall, about 5'6 with short black hair that was always a pain. My eyes were a dull brown and my skin was too light to be tanned but too dark to be pale. I wasn't skinny, but I wasn't fat either. I was considered strong for a girl, and had more of a muscular frame, even though I was an E cup.  
  
Now that i've got that crap out of the way, i'd like to get on with my story. It all started when I went for a visit to Dr Stanton's.  
  
*The* Dr Stanton. He was a middle-aged guy, with thick glasses over bright blue eyes and short brown hair that was graying at the sides.  
  
I walked into his office, my combat boots squeaking on the freshly mopped tile. He didn't look up from some papers, only motioned for me to sit down. I sat on the couch and stared out the window to my left. Some of the patients were playing basketball.  
  
"Miss McClane." Dr Stanton said.  
  
"Don't call me that. My names not McClane. It's Gostannen." I replied without looking at him. We had gone over this a gazillion times. He had asked me why I wanted to be called that once. I hadn't answered him.  
  
"Miss McClane, why do you insist on being called Gocannon?" Dr Stanton asked wearily.  
  
"It's Gostannen Dr Stanton. Gostannen. I like that name cause it suits me." I still wouldn't look at him.  
  
"What does it mean?"  
  
"Feared, dreaded."  
  
"Why do you want to be called that? What language is it from?" His interests were conflicting. He loved all kinds of languages and their origins and crap like that. But his profession was a doctor.  
  
"It's Sindarin."  
  
"Sindarin? Wait, you mean that made up language by Tolkien?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Who started calling you that?" He leaned forward in his seat and pushed his glasses up on his nose. He had a nervous habit of doing that.  
  
I finally looked at him. "Randall and his nutty friends."  
  
He glared sternly at me over his glasses. We weren't supposed to use words that referred to crazy people. If we wanted to talk about them, we had to say 'mentally unstable.' What a load of BS.  
  
"They don't like me too much. I only beat their faces in that one time. Now it's like i'm marked or somethin'."  
  
My hands were starting to sweat in the heavy fire-proof gloves that I was forced to wear 24-7. They had learned early on about my uncanny fire ability when things didn't go the way I liked. Now they had locked these funky gloves on my hands. In the summer they would be filled with sweat, and I was only thankful for them in the winter.  
  
Dr Stanton sighed and rubbed his temples. Then he spoke again.  
  
"It seems Mr Dean's ribs are fully healed. Isn't that odd how they healed after only three days?"  
  
Oh shit. Taylin Dean was one of my friends in this stink hole. He had gotten his ribs broken by one of the patients in Block Z. One of them had escaped a few nights ago and attacked me on the field. Taylin had gotten the wacko off me and two of his ribs broken in the process. I had gotten away with only a few bruises and scrapes that had healed in few minutes. Stupid healing curse.  
  
"Interesting Doc. Maybe miracles do happen." I said.  
  
He raised an eyebrow at me. Last night I had creeped into Taylin's room and healed his ribs. I was still kinda tired from the effort. The stupid gloves may have limited my fire ability, but not my healing. For that, I was immensly grateful. My abilities did come in handy, but were still a pain in the ass.  
  
"Do not try to fool me Miss McClane. I know you snuck into Mr Deans room. I told you that you cannot waltz around healing people. You are dangerous with those powers of yours. Something could go wrong."  
  
"It hurt for Taylin to freakin' breathe! I am *not* gonna stand around and watch a friend of mine hurt when I can help. Not a fudgin' chance." Dr Stanton was a pretty nice old geezer. But he was denser than a bag of rocks.  
  
"I don't care Miss McClane. I had strictly forbidden you to use your powers." He started shuffling papers and pushed a button that signaled for an orderly to come. There was always one waiting outside his door in case something went wrong.  
  
The orderly entered and Dr Stanton continued. "Your punishment will be one week in isolation and you will be put back on medication."  
  
"What? No! That stuff will kill me faster than if I was smoking or had cancer! You can't punish me for helping someone! You can't do this you old windbag!" I jumped from my seat and lunged for him.  
  
The stupid orderly grabbed me and held me back. I continued to struggle and thought about using my fire ability. But that would have only made things even worse, so I just lashed out with my feet and fists.  
  
The orderly dragged me through the halls kicking and screaming. The guard at the isolation room unlocked the door and looked at me.  
  
"Well, well. If it isn't Spitfire! Are you sure you don't want the straitjacket Tim?" the other orderly said.  
  
"Naw, I got her number Rob. She won't be tryin' no tricks, will ya Gostannen?" the one holding me asked. I just struggled even harder.  
  
They both laughed and threw me into the room. The thick metal door banged shut and the lock clicked. The two orderlies stared at me through the slot. I flicked them off, and they closed the slot that allowed a look inside.  
  
The isolation chamber was made of four inch thick steel all around. The only furniture was a bed with a blanket, and a chair. I kicked the chair and screamed in frustration. No one could hear me, but I felt a little better.  
  
I laid on the bed and pulled the thin blanket around me. I was coming up with a plan to get out. I had been in this hell-hole too fucking long. I was gonna get out one way or the other.  
  
Either escape through the gate, or escape through death. I wouldn't hesitate on either.  
  
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I waited until about two hours after curfew. The lights were off and I was listening at the door. I knew it was useless, but did it anyway. I stepped back and closed my eyes and concentrated. It was harder to use my fire ability with the stupid gloves. But I had to get out.  
  
I concentrated and searched deep inside myself for the fire that I knew was smoldering somewhere inside me. I found it and concentrated on setting the grease that I knew was in the lock on fire. I made sure the fire got hotter than a blowtorch and watched the metal where the lock was melt.  
  
I put out the fire and slowly opened the door. I looked to the right, then left. No one was in the hall, so I creeped out and stopped again.  
  
SQUEEK!  
  
Ack! My boots!  
  
I carefully took off my boots so that no one would hear my boots and come running. I silently ran down the halls and up the stairs. I didn't dare try the elevator.  
  
I quietly slipped into the room that was assigned to me and this little girl. The girl was about ten years old and crazier than me. Maybe it was because I wasn't crazy?  
  
Ah, anyway, I walked in and opened the bottom drawer on the bureau. Inside was a small box and a bunch of blankets. I pulled out the little box that fit perfectly in the palm of my hand and opened it. Inside was a pure gold chain with a pure silver pendant.  
  
The pendant was a perfect circle with sun, moon, and star engraved on the front. Surrounding the sun, moon, and star were funny squiggles and shapes. On the back, there were words engraved and filled in with black paint.  
  
The words clearly said 'O mor henion i dhu', then below that, 'From the darkness I understand the night.'  
  
It had been given to me by a nice old man when I had first come here. He said that it had been given to him from his wife, who was dead. The man said that I had reminded him of his wife, and given it to me. In a way, it was kind of creepy, and kind of sweet.  
  
I put it on now and slipped the little box in my pocket. I quickly put on a clean shirt and a hoodie. Then I was outta there and heading for Dr Stanton's office. I needed to get the key that would take these stupid gloves off. It had been awhile since I had last seen my hands.  
  
I reached his office and slowly turned the doorknob. Tonight was my lucky night. The door opened and I stole inside. As I searched through his drawers for the key, I wondered why the door was unlocked. I thought that Dr Stanton was probably going senile already.  
  
Eureka! I found the key and unlocked first the left glove, then the right. I yanked them off and threw them into the trash can.  
  
I bended my fingers and tested my fire ability. I made a nice little fireball that I let go out after I made sure that everything was working properly. I picked my boots up off the chair that I had dropped them on and headed for the big window near the infirmary.  
  
The window was taller than me, and was covered with a wire mesh screen. The screen was locked to insure no patients got out. Obviously they hadn't counted on me, because the lock melted easily in my red hot hands.  
  
As soon as the lock melted I opened the screen and then the window. I closed the screen, then the window, and put my boots back on. I looked around before darting across the field to the fence.  
  
"Hey, you there! Stop!" A flashlight shined on me and I foolishly stopped. "What are you doing! Get over here! Hey! HEY!" I started to run towards the fence again. I couldn't get caught now!  
  
"JACK! SOUND THE ALARM!" the guard called. I looked over my shoulder and saw him chasing after me.  
  
I looked back to the fence and concentrated on running. I put my hands on the fence and concentrated on melting it. When the hole got big enough for me to get through, I felt a hand pull me back.  
  
"I GOT 'ER!" the guard yelled. He turned me around and tried to pull me back towards the Institute. But there was no WAY I was going back. I kicked him in the balls and ran into the forest that covered most of the land beyond the Institution.  
  
I could hear more security guards running after me. I pumped my legs even harder and ignored the stitch in my side. I had to get away.  
  
I just HAD to.  
  
Then it started to rain.  
  
The rain limited my eye sight a little and got me wet. But it was only a light drizzle, nothing bad. I heard the guards close in on me and I prayed to everything that I knew that I would get away.  
  
I had gotten lucky once tonight, and in a way, I got lucky again.  
  
I tripped on a protruding tree root and fell. I thought I would stop after a few feet, but then I remembered that I was on hill. And evidently I was going downhill and picking up speed. I kept hitting rocks, roots, and bushes as I kept rolling head over heels.  
  
The only thing that stopped me was hitting a tree. I had also seemed to land in a clearing.  
  
I had some bruises and cuts that were already starting to heal because of my stupid healing ability. I was laying on my back and staring up at the sky. Some rain got in my eyes, but I just blinked. The rain stopped after a few minutes and the clouds parted.  
  
I could see the full moon and the stars. I smiled and inhaled deeply.  
  
'So this is what freedom is like' I thought to myself.  
  
As the moon shined down on me and was reflected on my pendant, I felt like I could take on the world. I closed my eyes and ignored the floating feeling that came to me. Eventually the feeling stopped, and not a moment too soon. I was starting to feel a little sick.  
  
It was the same, almost exact, feeling that you get when you were extremely dizzy. I figured that it was because of my little rolling down the hill. Just like in the nursery rhyme 'Jack and Jill.'  
  
Boy, I could never have been so wrong.  
  
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Faulkner: You like?  
  
Pinky: Please review! 


	2. Of Elves And Demons

Faulkner: Ahhhhh, gotta love insanity!!  
  
Pinky & CrystalMeth: __  
  
Faulkner: )  
  
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I opened my eyes only when I felt the sun burning through my eyelids. I immediatly closed them again.  
  
"Ugh, too bright..." I groaned. Then I bolted up and stared at the sun. It was in the middle of the sky, right above me.  
  
"Oh crud. I slept through half the frickin' day!" I groaned to myself. The guards were thick, but not stupid. They had never given up on an escaped patient. Only one man had ever escaped from the Institute and lived to tell the tale.  
  
But that guy was long dead and he had been as smart as they come. Percy Wharton had been as sharp as a tack and slippery as an eel. How do I know this you might be wondering. Well, I had met the guy, believe it or not. He had escaped a few days after I had arrived at the Stanton Institute.  
  
Anyway, the point was I had to get moving. The guards would probably have dogs coming after me. I brushed off my clothes and took a look at myself.  
  
My clothes were dirty, torn in some places. My hair was probably seriously messy, but when was it not? I combed through my hair with my fingers as I walked and thought.  
  
The nearest town was about ten miles away, to the north. I had escaped through the north gate, so as long as I kept going straight, I would be in good shape. That's when my infernal stomach had to complain. I groaned at my empty stomach and looked for something edible as I walked.  
  
I passed some mushrooms, but didn't give them a second look. I wouldn't touch mushrooms if my life depended on it. Besides, who knew if those mushrooms were poisonous or not? I would rather get past the age of eighteen.  
  
I decided on something that I usually resorted to in the Institution. I crouched down and picked some grass. I rolled it into a ball about the size of a nickle and looked around for some kind of bush leaves to wrap the grass ball in. I found some, and wrapped them tightly around the grass ball. It was now the size of a quarter.  
  
When this was done, I put it in my mouth and chewed slowly. I know you're probably thinking right now that I am nutty to be eating grass. But, desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides, grass doesn't taste too bad.  
  
I stood up and continued walking, watching out for signs of the guards and food. I noticed something odd, that the trees seemed bigger, and the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be here. And also the feeling that I was being watched.  
  
Maybe it was just me being paranoid, but I looked around carefully anyway. I didn't see anything or anyone. I walked just a little bit faster. The forest was kinda starting to creep me out. Like I said, maybe it was me being paranoid.  
  
I eventually finished that little ball, and made another one. They weren't very filling, but it was better than nothing. I also soon noticed something else strange.  
  
There were no forest noises. Everything was quiet, except for the occaisonall snap of a twig under my boots and the rustle of the leaves in the wind.  
  
This was just so friggin' creepy. I mean, forests weren't supposed to be deadly quiet.  
  
Were they?  
  
My whole walk was relatively boring, and only interrupted by my stopping to make another veggie ball. The weather started to get cooler, and I could tell that the sun was sinking and it was nearly time for me to find a place to sleep for the night.  
  
I looked at the trees for one with branches low enough for me to reach. I was not gonna sleep on the ground where the guards and some wild animal could easily reach me. When it was nearly full dark, I found a tree with low enough branches.  
  
I'm no squirrel, I can tell you that, but I loved to climb trees. It was some how so.... cool.  
  
I climbed up pretty far, about 20 feet off the ground. I was about to settle on a branch that seemed large enough, when I noticed some big mass up farther on the tree. Being the genius that I am, I decided to investigate.  
  
I was surprised to see that it was a wooden platform. Who would make a nice little platform all the way out here? I had read in a book somewhere that hunters would wait on platforms for prey. I concluded that it was some old hunter dude who had made it.  
  
I didn't think he'd mind if I just slept there for the night. It wasn't like I was going to destroy it or anything like that.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I felt someone nudge my shoulder.  
  
"Go 'way Nattie." I mumbled. That dratted ten year old was always waking me up. If she wasn't so darned cute I would seriously yelled at her after five years of having her sleep in the same room with me.  
  
I heard someone say something and I was nudged harder this time.  
  
"I said 'Go 'way Nattie.'" I growled.  
  
"Wake up stranger, before I shove you out of the tree." a male voice replied. That got me up all right.  
  
I jumped up and opened my eyes, only to close them again. Damn the sun, it was always in my eyes. I blinked a few times to get my eyes used the light. When I could finally see properly, I didn't know what to say.  
  
In front of me were five guys. I think.  
  
All of them were lean, at least six feet tall, and had long whitish blond hair and blue eyes. They were all pale and had delicate features. All of them had a bow and a quiver full of arrows. They were all wearing clothes that looked like they came straight from the Middle Ages. Tunics, breeches, and cloaks with boots. The colors were mostly shades of green and brown.  
  
Two of these men had their bows fitted with an arrow and pointed at me.  
  
"What are you doing here human? Speak!" the one that had spoken to me earlier said. I looked at him and saw that he was slightly shorter than the rest of them, but still incredibly tall.  
  
"Yeesh. Don't get so snappish. I was just trying to get some sleep without being eaten by something and-" I abruptly stopped. I was about to say 'and get caught by the Institutes guards.' That would be really intelligent.  
  
The guy advanced and stood only a foot away from me. Talk about no respect for personal space. But I definately wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of seeing me step back.  
  
"Do not talk to me like that human. I could kill you right here and leave your carcass for the wolves to pick through." he replied coldly. Wasn't he a bundle of joy. "State your name and buisness, girl." He practically sneered at the girl part. Oh, how I wanted to sock him.  
  
"My buisness and my name doesn't matter to you." I shouldn't have done that.  
  
"If you do not tell me, I will have my archers kill you." Boy, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  
  
"I am trying to reach the nearest town, smart ass. My name's Gostannen." I answered.  
  
All of the men on the platform gasped and started to whisper. All except the one that was interrogating me.  
  
"Do not lie to me. Tell me your name." he hissed. His men, for he was obviously the leader, listened with interest. But alas, the arrows were still pointed at me.  
  
"I don't lie. Sure, I color things a bit, but never lie. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of names. Randall and his freaks are always making up new names for me. One time they even called me 'morna lach', whatever the hell that means." I rolled my eyes. It was probably some elvish curse. They were always calling me stuff like that. Gostannen was actually a favorite.  
  
The guy raised his hand, to hit me I guess, when one of his men told him to stop.  
  
"She speaks the truth, Brother. I see it in her eyes." The man walked over and smiled down at me.  
  
"What silly human would name their child that? I do not think that humans are *that* cruel." the first guy said.  
  
"Will ya stop talkin' like that! After all, you're human too." I growled at him.  
  
"I'm not human. None of us are. We are elves you stupid little girl." I would have started to beat his face in, if it wasn't for the strange sight that greeted me.  
  
The first guy had tucked his hair behind his ears. His *pointed* ears. I stared at them. Then I turned and walked over the second guy. I tucked his hair behind his ears, which were also pointed. He was too stunned to do anything.  
  
That was when I remembered talking to one of Randall's friends. They were talking about elves in The Lord of the Rings. I, being the genius that I am, asked her what they were supposed to look like. She replied that elves were tall, fair, beautiful, and usually blond or brunette. The only other major physical difference was their pointed ears. She had also gone on and on about the elvish language and the types of elves there were. I had tuned out by that point.  
  
"Holy cow..." I whispered. "Fuckin' elves. I think I must have hit my head on the way down that hill."  
  
I was totally confused. Elves *weren't* real. They didn't just pop out of the ground!  
  
I hadn't realized it, but the, uh, *elves* had started talking to each other in their language. I only snapped out of my daze when I heard the first guy, uh, *elf*, speak.  
  
"She will come with us back home. The Lady will know what to do with her. Until then, she is our prisoner."  
  
"Wha?" I said. "Prisoner? No *WAY* am I your prsioner! That's got to be illegal or somethin'!" I protested.  
  
"You are our prisoner, human. Rumil, tie her hands." the first elf dude said. The second one that I now knew was Rumil stepped forward and pulled out a rope.  
  
"I am sorry. But my brother is the captain, and I am only a soldier. I will try not to tie the rope too tight." he whispered in my ear as he tied my hands.  
  
"Your esteemed brother needs to pull the stick out of his ass." I whispered back. Apparently the elf in question heard, because he whirled around and started towards me. That's when I remember that one girl saying elves had a heightened sense of earing and sight.  
  
"Do you wish to be gagged also human?" he snapped.  
  
I put on my most innocent look. "No. I only wish to know my, ahem, *captors* names." I said. Might as well make the best of this.  
  
He snorted and turned towards the edge of the platform where his men were doing something.  
  
"Do not take my brothers rudeness personally, my lady. His name is Haldir, Captain of the Galadhrim." Rumil said his brothers title with pride.  
  
"Cap'n of the Galadhrim huh? That must be a kind of important position." I said idly. The elves had been setting up a rope ladder. I wondered how I was going to get down with my hands tied.  
  
"Yes, a very important title. Only the very best have ever gotten it." Rumil led me over to the rope ladder, and motioned for me to climb.  
  
"Uh, Rumil? I hate to burst your bubble, but it's kinda hard to climb with your hands tied." I said. Haldir appeared behind me and snorted again.  
  
"You will manage." Haldir said coldly. I stuck my tongue out at him.  
  
"Yeah, and break my back in the process. Ain't no way in HELL am I gonna get down that stupid ladder without help."  
  
Haldir started to reply, but Rumil was quicker. "I will carry you down."  
  
"Huh?" I asked dumbly.  
  
Rumil put my tied hands around his neck and told me to wrap my legs around his waist. I did so and he went down the ladder with little difficulty. Haldir came down right after us and we started to march. It was pretty dull, and we didn't have any breaks.  
  
When I had been walking through the woods, I had been doing so at a pace that I knew I could keep up without much, if any, rest needed in a while. But these damned elves had long legs, and walked a lot faster. I kept up with them fairly well for the first couple of hours. But after that, I was really tired and hungry.  
  
Unfortunately for me, I don't complain that much, if at all. It was one of my flaws. I could need help really bad, but I would still struggle on, no matter what. Me and my stupid pride.  
  
I was stumbling a lot now, and Rumil and his other brother, Orophin, had to keep catching me before I fell flat on my face.  
  
"Haldir, the lady is exhausted. We should stop and let her rest before we continue." Orophin called ahead.  
  
Haldir stopped and walked back to us. We were at the very end of the procession, since I couldn't go much faster. I was sweating slightly and my stomach was complaining about its emptiness. I silently promised it that I would get something to eat ASAP.  
  
Haldir looked me up and down before reluctantly agreeing that we would stop here for lunch. Geez, it was already lunchtime!  
  
I plopped down on the ground and started to make one of my veggie balls. They were an aquired taste, but better than nothing. I finished and plopped it in my mouth. I slowly chewed and looked up to see the elves staring at me.  
  
"What?" I asked, somewhat annoyed.  
  
"You just ate a ball of grass and leaves." Rumil said.  
  
"Thank you Mr Obvious. I thought it was a Warhead." I rolled my eyes.  
  
"What is a Warhead?" Orophin asked.  
  
"You don't know what a Warhead is?" I asked. He shook his head. "Geez Louise! You don't know what you're missin'! A Warhead, well, the candy kind, is a round piece of sour candy that you suck on. It comes in about five different flavors." I explained. "They're one of the best candies in the whole world!"  
  
Orophin nodded and shrugged. He went to help some of his companions and I was left alone to watch. I let my eyes go out of focus and let my mind wander. Then some yelling brought me back to Earth abruptly. Haldir was yelling at some poor elf who had evidentally lost something. From what I could get, he had lost the rock thingys that lit the fire.  
  
I made sure no one was watching before concentrating on the wood. I made some fire in the heart of the wood. It rapidly spread, and soon a merry little fire was going on. Haldir stopped scolding the poor elf and stared at the fire.  
  
"What in the Valar made that?" he asked as he looked at his men. They were all just as dumbstruck. I made sure I was looking away and watched a caterpillar crawl across a twig in the grass a few feet away.  
  
The elves were really suspicious after that. They were careful around the fire since they didn't know how it had come to life. But they didn't want to exactly waste a miracle.  
  
Rumil handed me a plate with some kind of meat on it after about twenty minutes. I set the plate on the forest floor and ate with my bound hands. Haldir kept throwing glares my way for some reason. I was so gonna get him good one day.  
  
After I finished, Orophin took my plate and I said thanks. I finally got sick of Haldir glaring at me, so I did something about it.  
  
I got up and walked over to the other side of, camp I guess, and sat right in front of him. He averted his gaze to something else, but I could tell he was watching me through the corner of his eye. I stared at his face without blinking. He got uncomfortable, and started shifting his weight.  
  
"What?!" he finally snarled. "Why are you staring at me, human?!"  
  
"Giving you a taste of your own medicine." I replied coolly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Next time you want to stare at someone, think about what it would be like if they did the same thing to you. I'm not gonna take that kind of crap. *Captain.*" Haldir''s face started to turn red, and I could hear some of the other elves snickering.  
  
"Get everything ready! We are leaving in five minutes!" Haldir barked as he stalked off. I smirked at his retreating form and mentally patted myself on the back.  
  
True to his word, in five minutes we were back to marching. I was again in the rear, but only because I was trying to go as slow as I was allowed to reserve my energy. I got tired of the silence, and trotted up to Rumil.  
  
"Hey Rumil. Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"You just did." he grinned.  
  
"Don't get all smart ass on me." Rumil just chuckled.  
  
"Yes, you may."  
  
"Who's this 'Lady' that stick-up-the-ass over there was talking about?" nodding over to Haldir. I think he heard, because his hands curled into fists.  
  
"He is referring to Lady Galadriel. She and her husband Lord Celeborn rule Lorien." Then he went on to talk about Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel and pretty much the whole history of Lothlorien.  
  
Man! Elves sure are long-winded. I listened as best I could, and my ears perked up at something that Rumil said.  
  
"Read minds? This Galadriel person can read minds?" I asked. Rumil nodded.  
  
"She can read minds and speak to one through telepathy. All with the help of her ring. Her ring-"  
  
"Rumil! Come here!" Haldir called from the front, successfully interupting Rumil's explanation. Haldir said something to his brother in elvish and then waved him away.  
  
When Rumil came back, he didn't continue, and just walked in silence next to me. Haldir had more than a stick up his ass. He had a whole damn tree.  
  
After a while I started tripping again. But this time, no one helped me. I kept myself up fairly well, and the elves didn't even notice my lagging behind. The sun was setting, and my stomach had been growling for the past hour. Damn stomach. Not to mention, it was getting really cold.  
  
The night breeze was sending shivers down my spine, and my hoodie had some holes in it. I saw that the elves weren't really paying attention to me, so I decided to risk a little warmth. I cupped my hands and concentrated. A flame appeared and danced in my hands. I felt a lot warmer now.  
  
I grinned at my genius and watched where I walked. The flame also gave me some light. Now the only thing that I stumbled on was my own feet. I was so single-minded about my walking without tripping that I didn't notice that elves had surrounded me and were watching me and my fire closely.  
  
I didn't notice them until someone spoke. "What *are* you?" the voice asked fearfully.  
  
I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks. Some of the elves looked ready to draw their bows. I let the fire go out and dropped my hands. I stared at the tense elves, all looking at me with a cold stare. Some with a little fear also.  
  
Haldir slowly drew an arrow out of his quiver and fitted it on his bow.  
  
"Speak, demon, before I shoot. Tell us what you are *really* doing here." he said coldly.  
  
Me and my great ideas.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: Hehehehehehehehehe! Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and i'm terribly sorry for the wait on the next chapter to What Was Lost Is Now Found. Dammit, I can't seem to finish the third chapter!!! GRRRRR!!!!! 


	3. My Past Is Catching Up With Me!

Faulkner: YAY!!!! I made the schools softball A team!!! GO ME!! ::does happy dance:: And i'm gonna kill this one girl I know. She keeps spraying this nasty smelling perfume on me and chases me around the girls locker room.  
  
CrystalMeth: I wish I could've been there...  
  
Pinky: ::whacks Crystal with hat:: Shush you!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I just stared at the elves. How was I supposed to explain it to them? I barely understood how I had gotten the stupid powers in the first place. How was I supposed to tell them?  
  
Oh fuck it. Life sucked ass. Or dick. Whichever you prefer.  
  
I swallowed and talked in a voice that I thought was pretty calm. "I told you already. All I want is to get to the nearest town."  
  
"Lie." Haldir pulled his bow back. "One more try, demon."  
  
"I'm no demon!" I yelled at him. "I'm just a kid with a messed up life! Please Haldir! Don't shoot!" I had to get through to his thick skull. If pleading did it, then i'd plead. If kissing his ass did it, then i'd kiss his ass.  
  
Well, maybe.  
  
I saw him take aim and I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain. When it didn't come, I looked at Haldir.  
  
His eyes had a far-away look. Suddenly his mouth dropped open and he started to speak.  
  
"But, my Lady-" he stopped as if he was cut off by someone. Then he closed his mouth and put the arrow away. He marched over to me and stared into my eyes. He had the most fascinating eyes. Too bad they were in a skull thicker than rock.  
  
"You are lucky, girl. The Lady wishes to see you. Not many have felt the mercy of the Lady." Was it just me, or did Haldir hate me?  
  
He untied my hands, and I rubbed the red skin where the ropes had rubbed me the wrong way. "The Lady also requested this. But if you try anything, I will not hesitate to shoot you." Then he walked off and yelled at the men in elvish. They all walked over to a tree and started to climb.  
  
Rumil motioned to me, and told me to climb. I followed the elf up above me and came upon another one of those wooden platforms. Good grief, how many of those were there?  
  
I walked over to a little spot where I could rest in peace and leaned against a branch. I was really starting to get cold again. The wind was a lot stronger up here. But no way was I gonna risk some flame after that incident.  
  
Orophin came over after a bit and gave me a circular piece of food that looked a little like a sand-dollar. I said 'thank you' and ate it. It tasted pretty good and almost filled up my stomach.  
  
The elves were talking to each other, and every once in a while they would glance my way. I just shrugged it off and got comfortable. I was gonna get as much sleep as possible, whether they liked it or not. I curled up into a ball and used my arm as a pillow. I hummed to myself and eventually fell asleep.  
  
I had some of the strangest dreams that night. I dreamt about crazy elves in the Institute and the patients from Block Z with bows and arrows. Then I relived the night that I was given those confounded powers.  
  
That was one memory that I couldn't take, and woke up in a cold sweat.  
  
It was still nighttime and the wind was still blowing. The sweat on my forehead was already disappearing, but for some reason I wasn't cold. I looked and saw that a dark green cloak was on me. I stared at it in confusion and then looked for an elf missing a nice warm cloak.  
  
Some of the elves were missing, so I didn't find my answer. I just sighed and pulled the cloak closer. Might as well use it since I had it. The cloak had the smell of rain and forest with the muskiness that came from a guy. I took another deep breath of this pleasant combination before falling asleep.  
  
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Someone nudged my shoulder and I just turned the other way. "Ten more minutes Nattie." I mumbled. Stupid ten year olds never took a hint.  
  
I was nudged again, harder. "Shove off Nattie. I need sleep." I was nudged again and lost my temper.  
  
"Goddammit Nattie!" I sat up and was just about to grab her when I saw a guys face instead of a little girls. I jumped about ten feet in the air. When I settled back down on the ground I started grumbling.  
  
Everything came back to me. Escape, elves, nearly being shot.  
  
"Fudge Haldir. Just shake me or yell at me or somethin'. Don't just nudge me with your foot like i'm some dead animal in your way." I complained.  
  
He snorted at me and handed me some more of the sand-dollar food. When I was about halfway through it did I realize that the cloak was gone. Figures. So, the elf wanted to remain anonymous. Fine by me.  
  
After a few more minutes we were all back on solid ground and marching. Everything was quiet again. I occaisonally snapped a twig under my boots, but the stupid elves didn't make a sound. Then I heard that one girls voice in my head.  
  
~"Elves are lightfooted beings. When they walk they don't make a sound. That makes them the best sneakers around. Even better than you, Gostannen."~ Then the moron had the gall to smirk at me. At ME!  
  
I made sure she paid for that.  
  
I got extremely bored, so started humming. Then softly singing to myself.  
  
"I am a question to the world  
  
Not an answer to the earth  
  
Or a moment  
  
That's held in your arms  
  
And what do you think you'd ever say?  
  
I won't listen anyway  
  
You remove me  
  
And i'll never be what you want me to be  
  
And what  
  
Do you think you'd understand  
  
I'm a boy, no, i'm a man  
  
You can't take me  
  
And throw me away  
  
And how can you learn what's never shown?  
  
Yeah, you stand here on your own  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause i'm not here  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Want to hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can the world want me to change?  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause i'm not here."  
  
I was about to start on the next verse, but that's when I noticed the elves were staring at me as we were walking. I blushed and looked at the ground. I wasn't singing that loudly, so how had they-  
  
Stupid elvish hearing.  
  
We walked along in silence again, and my muscles were starting to burn. I walked up to Orophin and asked him a question.  
  
"When are we gonna get to the city?"  
  
"We should be there by lunchtime tomorrow." he answered.  
  
I groaned and he grinned at me. He knew that I didn't like this whole walking for half a day buisness. I think all the other elves also knew. I was absolutely POSITIVE Haldir knew.  
  
After another couple of hours I was wiped out. Lucky for me, Haldir told everyone that we would stop for a rest. I immediatly sat on a tree root and got comfortable. An elf handed me some more of that sand-dollar food and I thanked him. But before he could walk away, I grabbed his sleeve.  
  
He turned around, and I asked him what the stuff was called. I think he was sort of relieved that all I wanted was to ask a question.  
  
"It is called lembas, elvish waybread." he answered with a little smile, and walked off.  
  
Lembas huh? Well, it didn't taste half bad. Pretty filling too.  
  
I sat there and watched the elves. Some of them were sharpening arrow tips, others were taking care of their bows. They occaisonally joked with each other, but usually quiet. The quiet unsettled me. I was used to hearing the noise of every day life in the Institution.  
  
Some of the patients yelling at each other or an orderly. Others complaining about the nasty taste of the medication. Some just talking to themselves. Sure, I liked some silence every now and then. But complete silence was just plain creepy.  
  
Well, I didn't care if they heard me. I was going to sing, goddammit! And was going to enjoy my own company. The silence was just not right.  
  
"I'm seein' red  
  
Don't think you'll have to see my face again  
  
Don't have much time for sympathy  
  
Cause it never happened to me  
  
You're feeling blue now  
  
I think you bit off more than you could chew  
  
And now it's time to make a choice  
  
And all I wanna hear is your voice  
  
So follow the leader now  
  
And swallow your pride and drown  
  
When there's no place left to go  
  
Maybe that's when you will know  
  
So follow the leader now  
  
And swallow your pride and drown  
  
When there's no place left to go  
  
Baby that's when you will know  
  
And foolish lies.....  
  
Oh, can't you see I tried to compromise?  
  
Cause what you say ain't always true  
  
And I can see the tears in your eyes  
  
And what you said now....  
  
Can't stop the words from running through my head  
  
And what i'd do to get through to you  
  
But you'd only do it again."  
  
As I was about to start on the chorus, I felt something. Something powerful, that even a total ditz oblivious to the world could feel. It was near, yet far away at the same time. I looked around, and immediatly felt the presence recede to wherever it came from.  
  
It felt familiar somehow. Like an old friend that you haven't seen in years. I looked around again but didn't see anything. I ignored the elves stares and looked down at my hands. I suddenly realized that I was hot and took off my hoodie.  
  
Underneath was a light short sleeved shirt. It was blue and had the outline of a fox head in white. It was one size too big and was kinda loose on me. I tied me hoodie around my waist and sat back down. I stared at the scar on my arm.  
  
It was one of the two physical marks of the abilities that I had been cursed with. The scar was a burn mark on my left forearm in the shape of a hand. That was the place where I was grabbed by the person who gave me my stupid gifts. The other mark was a tattoo located on my back. The doctors had marveled at the amazing tattoo. I just loathed it.  
  
It was a giant flame, starting from my waist, the top stopping at my neck. The flame was of red, orange, and yellow with a light blue outline. Then in the very heart of the fire were two trees. In between the trees was an anvil with a hammer over it. Over those two devices were seven stars situated in an arch. These were all tattooed in silver (AN: Think the design on the doors of Moria, 'cept without all the runes).  
  
It would have been a pretty cool tattoo if it wasn't for the powers that came with it. I growled at the memory of their appearance.  
  
"Gostannen? We are leaving." Rumil called. I nodded at him and got up.  
  
We walked for the rest of the day, and I was glad for the activity for a change. It helped me concentrate on things that kept my mind from my bitter memories.  
  
When night came I put my hoodie back on and shivered slightly. We climbed a tree and found another one of those wooden platforms. I went over to a corner and immediatly went to sleep. I didn't wait for any elf to give me lembas.  
  
During the night a particularly painful memory resurfaced.  
  
"Ashley McClane? Your parents are here to see you." an orderly brought two people over. They were Dennis and Amanda McClane, my blood parents.  
  
"Ashley honey, how are you?" my mom asked me.  
  
I just stared at the other patients.  
  
"Hun? What's wrong?" my dad asked.  
  
I replied coldly, "Nothing's wrong Dennis."  
  
My parents stared wide-eyed at me. Then they looked at each other and nodded.  
  
"We'll come back and see you when you're feeling better Ashley." my mom said quietly.  
  
"Good bye Amanda, Dennis." I still didn't look at them. They walked off and I laid my head on the metal table. None of the other patients or any of the orderlies notice me crying.  
  
God, I hated that memory. That was the last time I had ever seen my parents. They had stopped coming to visit me every month after that day.  
  
I felt someone shaking me. In my mind, I thought it was an orderly. I started kicking and screaming, trying to hit the guy, but he just laughed and kept shaking me. "Run away, Gostannen! Run away little girl! HA HA HA HA!!"  
  
When I woke up, I found out that it was Haldir. He had pinned my arms and legs, and was calling my name.  
  
"Gostannen! Wake up!"  
  
I looked in his blue eyes and saw something that I vaguely recognized, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. I relaxed and he let go of me. I reached up to rub my eyes, and found that my cheeks were wet. I had been crying. Damn. The last thing I needed right now was to be teased by those stupid elves.  
  
I wiped my cheeks and looked around. Lovely, all the elves were staring at me. I glared at them.  
  
"What are you all lookin' at?" I growled. They quickly lost interest in me.  
  
"What were you dreaming about?" Haldir asked me softly so the others couldn't hear.  
  
I turned my attention back to him. I thought about what I should tell him, if I told him anything. Well, I guess I should give stick-in-the-ass another chance. Only one other though.  
  
"My parents." I said, equally quiet.  
  
He raised a questioning eyebrow. "One would think that dreams of their parents would happy."  
  
"Yeah. Well. Not of my parents. ESPECIALLY not my parents." I made sure he got the message that I didn't want to talk about it and closed my eyes. I curled into a ball and shivered. Just when I was drifting off to sleep did I feel the warmth of a cloak fall on me.  
  
I pulled it up to my chin and breathed deep. It was the same cloak, I was sure of it. I didn't bother opening my eyes to figure out who did it. I was too wiped out.  
  
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I felt someone shake me and whisper my name. I opened my eyes and saw Rumil smiling at me.  
  
"Mornin' Rumil. What's got you in such a good mood?" I asked as he gave me a wafer of lembas.  
  
"Today we will reach Lorien." he answered. Then he went and started to talk to some of the other elves.  
  
I finished the lembas and stood up. The cloak was gone, probably on its owners shoulders right now. I stretched and yawned. We went down the rope ladder and started marching again. But this time we were going at a much faster pace than we usually did.  
  
I wore out even sooner than I usually did. It was about late morning and my muscles were already protesting. I used what was left of my strength to run up to Haldir.  
  
"I realize that.....you are eager to.....get to Lorien.....but.....agh." I could barely talk and jog at the same time. "But..... I need a rest. I'm not used.....to.....this kind of....pace!" Haldir glared at me, and I glared back.  
  
I could see his resolve wavering a little. Then I just had to trip and fall. Damn me!  
  
Haldir grabbed me under the arms and hauled me up easily. I looked up and saw him smirking at me.  
  
"Oh, shut up." I grumbled.  
  
"I did not say anything." He raised an eyebrow at me.  
  
"Yeah, well, you were thinking of saying something." I replied as I dusted myself off. Then he was off again. I groaned and tried to keep up. This was not easy, let me tell you. Especially since I was already dead on my feet.  
  
"Argh! Stupid elves and their stupid long legs." I knew they heard me. I could feel their glares. I looked up at them and stuck out my tongue. I know, I know. Very mature, aren't I?  
  
At lunch time we didn't stop. I was lagging behind, but an elf always seemed to be pushing me along. Trying to make me go faster. I was about ready to set something on fire to make them stop.  
  
I fell to the ground as I walked right into Haldir's back. Orophin helped me up, and I dusted myself off again.  
  
It seemed that we had reached Lorien. I walked in front of Haldir and gasped. Lorien was....well.... gorgeous. It was so beautiful and graceful and cool and....and....did I say beautiful?  
  
As we walked along, everything seemed to have a glow to it. Even the elves that we passed glowed!  
  
"Ooooh. Pretty glowing elves." I whispered to myself. I think I heard one of the elves snicker, but I wasn't sure.  
  
We reached a gigantic tree and started to climb some stairs that wound around the trunk. My already tired legs were screaming right now. Every step felt like someone put a torch to my leg muscles and was roasting them. I was about ready to drop on the steps and tell them all to let me rest.  
  
Just when I was about to that, we reached the top. It was a porch of some sort with five steps that led up to a gigantic pair of double doors. The pillars next to them and the doors themselves had incredibly detailed carvings. There were a pair of guards stationed on each side of the doors.  
  
I looked back to find that only Haldir and myself had climbed the steps.  
  
I was about to comment on this when the doors opened of their own accord. I blinked as an amazingly bright light came from them and momentarily blinded me. I blinked and the light started to dim. I saw two people, a male elf and female elf.  
  
I squinted my eyes at the female elf. I tried to remember....yes.... It was the very same elf.  
  
"You." I said dumbly. Then with anger, "You!" I started to stomp towards her, but my legs decided that right then was a good time to turn into jelly.  
  
"You're the jackass that gave me those stupid powers! It's all your fuckin' fault! If you hadn't interfered with my life, I wouldn't have lost everything! It's all your fault you old hag! It's all-" I started to yell incoherently and pounded my fist on the floor. I didn't care who saw me.  
  
"Yes, Ashley. It is good to see you again too." Lady Galadriel said evenly. Oh, how I wanted to choke her!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: Okey dokey. First thing, songs: Goo Goo Dolls, I'm Still Here and Unwritten Law, Seein' Red. Second thing: Thankies to my few reviewers!!! Cookies and brownies of your choosing go to you!!!! I'm happy that some people are taking a minute or so to write a little review. 


	4. The Story Is Partly Revealed

Faulkner: I just got back from softball practice. I ache all over!!!! The coach made us run a lap for every ball that we missed, and the ditzy girls on my team (God knows how they made it) missed like three balls each. We had to run ten laps I think. I lost count around six.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I knew I was acting childish, but the very same person who had ruined my life was standing right in front of me. I felt like doing so many things, but I didn't have the strength. I hated that woman....er....elf with every fiber in my body. She had taken all I ever had and wanted.  
  
I heard the male speak, but I couldn't understand him. Probably talking in that dratted elvish. It was beautiful to listen to, but a pain to try to figure out.  
  
A pair of strong arms picked me up and carried me off. I didn't know who it was, nor did I care. I just wanted them all to go away. I just wanted my powers to disappear and become a horrible nightmare that I had had.  
  
I stopped crying after a few minutes and just laid in the elf's arms with my eyes closed. I felt like dirt. I felt worse than dirt. I just wanted to melt and be nothing. Or finally blend in with the people around me. I was sick and tired of being different.  
  
I laid my head on the elf's chest and heard his heartbeat. The calm thumping and the familiar smell of forest and rain with the male muskness was what finally lulled me to sleep.  
  
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I woke up to hear voices talking quietly in elvish. I didn't understand a word of what they were saying, but I thought that they were talking about me. I opened my eyes and saw that it was Haldir and some she-elf. I looked around without moving my head and saw that I was in a bed in some of room.  
  
Haldir noticed that I was awake and came over to my side.  
  
"Good. You are awake. The Lady wishes to speak to you after you eat and get dressed." he said, then left.  
  
"Well, gee, good morning to you too." I grumbled. I was definately not a morning person. I had refrained from flaming his arrogant ass every morning only because there were too many witnesses.  
  
I heard the she-elf mutter something, then turn to me. I sat up and noticed that I was in a nightgown of some sort. It was like silk, maybe because it probably WAS silk. I grimaced at it, and stood up. My legs were feeling pretty weak, but at least I could walk.  
  
"There is a bath in the other room, my lady." the she-elf said. "There will be a dress waiting for you when you get out."  
  
"A dress?" I almost squeeked.  
  
"Yes. A dress." the she-elf confirmed with a nod.  
  
"Uh, couldn't I just have a nice pair of pants and a shirt? Dresses aren't exactly my kind of clothes."  
  
"Tunics and breeches are improper clothing for a lady. Especially since Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel wish to see you." she scolded.  
  
"So? I'd rather where pants and a shirt." I said. I was definately NOT letting them get away with this.  
  
The she-elf and I argued for about ten minutes before she finally relented. She threw up her hands and started muttering to herself as she went to get my clothes. I went into the other room and took off the nightgown and got into the steaming bath.  
  
I let myself soak for a minute before grabbing some soap and scrubbing myself. After all the dirt was off my skin, I looked for some shampoo of some sort. I found some and washed my hair. Then grabbed what I thought was conditioner and went through my hair with that stuff.  
  
When I was clean, I got out and dryed myself with a fluffy towel that had been set out. Then wrapped it around me and got a second one to dry my short hair. My hair seemed blacker than black when it was wet, and today was no exeption.  
  
I peeked out and saw, to my relief, a nice pair of pants and a shirt was laying on the bed. I let the towel fall on the floor and I put the pants on first. They were a nice dark green color, and fit me pretty well. The shirt was a lighter green with long sleeves.  
  
I looked around for my boots and found them next to the bed. Just as I finished putting them on, there was a knock on the door. I opened it and saw stick-up-the-ass. He frowned at my choice of clothes and was about to say something when I spoke.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. I'm a girl and i'm supposed to be all lady-like and wear a dress. Well, just because i'm a lady doesn't mean that I have to dress like one. Besides, it was either this, or the clothes that I came here with." I grinned as he set his jaw and motioned for me to follow him.  
  
As we walked, I noticed that all the elves were staring at me and whispering behind their hands in elvish. So much for trying to figure out what they were saying.  
  
We went up the same steps, but this time we went through the doors. Inside was a giant throne room, with two thrones on a slightly raised dais. On the thrones were Galadriel and her husband. I gave Galadriel a hard look as we walked forward. She just gave me a small smile.  
  
Her husband looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it. Haldir stopped and bowed. I just stood there, staring at the two. He straightened up and sent me a look.  
  
"Why?" I asked. Haldir gave me another look, but I ignored him. "Why me?"  
  
Galadriel gave me another small smile. "Because you have the inner strength to save us all." she answered. I stared at her blankly.  
  
"Your spirit is strong and courageous. Even when you were young I could sense it. All you needed was a little push. I gifted you with those powers because with them, you could help save our world. Our world needs someone like you to help save it from the Great Evil." she continued. Oh boy, this just got more confusing.  
  
I looked up at Haldir, and he seemed just as confused as me. He looked back at me and our eyes met. I shrugged at his silent question, saying I was just as confused. After a couple seconds we returned our gaze back to Galadriel.  
  
Then my memory decided to kick in. I remembered a lot of what Rumil had said about the Lady and that her husbands name was Celeborn. Then I also remembered the parting words that Galadriel had said to me all the years before.  
  
"One day, you will be able to save the future. Learn well, Narya."  
  
I had been so small and unsure. I hadn't understood what she had said then, and I don't understand it today. What idiot would put a teenager in charge of the future of the world? Apparently, Galadriel was that idiot.  
  
I scowled at Galadriel. "You're crazy to think that I can help save a world. You're even more crazy to try to make me save a world. After what you've done to me, i'd be happy to sit back and watch you die."  
  
This was obviously too much for Haldir. He grabbed my arm made me meet his eyes. They were now a dark blue, clouded with anger.  
  
"Take it back!" he hissed at me.  
  
"Haldir!" Celeborn stood up and called to the rabid elf that was currently trying to dislocate my shoulder.  
  
"Take it back!" he hissed again.  
  
"Bite me." I whispered. This was the chance that I was waiting for. I concentrated and brought up my right hand and gently touched his hand. The heat was enough to make him jump back in pain and let go of me. I turned and ran from there as fast as I could.  
  
"Bring her back!" I heard Celeborn yell at the guards. I knew they would catch me if I just ran. They had longer and more powerful legs. I may not have been short, but I couldn't match the elves. But you'd be amazed what desperation and adrenalin could do for ya.  
  
I had a little bit of a head start, and I used it to its fullest. I dodged around trees and bushes, putting as many objects between us as possible.  
  
Elves watched me fly past, none tried to stop me. For that, I was grateful. When I looked behind me I didn't see the chasing elven guards, but I knew they were there. I kept on running, ignoring the growing stitch in my side. My legs were still weak from all the marching, but I wasn't going to give up.  
  
Not without a fight.  
  
I eventually came across a river with a waterfall a little ways upstream. By that time I was getting my breath in short gasps. I jumped into the river and waded upstream. I was actually thinking today. Go me!  
  
I reached the deeper end where the waterfall was and dove. I know, I was soaking wet already, so what was a little more water going to do? I swam under the waterfall and resurfaced behind it. The water coming down sufficiently hid me. My luck was also good enough to have a ledge. I hauled myself up on it and waited.  
  
I hadn't hid a moment too soon. The elves had stopped at the riverbank and I guess were confused. They eventually crossed and fanned out, looking for my tracks. When I was positive that I wouldn't be seen, I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes and slept. The pounding of the waterfall the only noise.  
  
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My eyes flew open as I got the feeling that someone was nearby. I looked around, but didn't see anyone. But the feeling didn't leave, and I was freezing my ass off. I hugged myself and tried to get warm. My clothes were still wet, and my hair was being a pain again, getting in my eyes.  
  
I pushed it out of my face and looked more closely. Still, no one. 'Oh stop it! You're being paranoid again!' I told myself. But I couldn't shake the feeling. I tried to go back to sleep, but the cold was keeping me awake. Then I smacked my forhead in annoyance.  
  
Duh! I could use my fire ability!  
  
I cupped my hands and concentrated. A small ball of fire appeared and instantly started to warm me. I sighed and pulled it closer. Ooooh, bonus! It was also drying my clothes. Hallelujah!  
  
As soon as all of me was warm and dry (except for my hair) I settled against the wall and got ready for sleep. But my senses started screaming at me that someone was close. I looked around again and saw it.  
  
There was a body in the water. I couldn't tell who it was, but it was probably an elf. I held my breath and became as quiet as possible. Maybe he hadn't noticed me.  
  
Fat chance.  
  
He came out of the water and up on the ledge so fast that all I could do was watch. He shoved me down and pinned my hands and feet to the ground. I blinked and recognized the elf that had me pinned. Dammit, it was stick-up- the-ass Haldir. He was as wet as I had been and his clothes were sticking to his skin. I could see that he had a muscled chest, flat stomach, and powerful arms and legs. Amazing, he was so lean, and all of him was pure muscle! Not even the best athletes on earth could boast that!  
  
"I thought I might find you here after the guards didn't find your tracks." he growled. He was sitting on me, and he wasn't exactly light. Even after being in the freezing water he was warm. Damn him.  
  
"Let go of me Haldir. Unless you want me to burn you again." I smirked.  
  
"You do that and i'll throw you in the river and let you drown."  
  
"You'd be doing me a favor."  
  
He sorta did a double-take and glared at me. "Why do you hate the Lady?" he asked.  
  
"You let me up i'll tell ya. You aren't exactly feather-light."  
  
He slowly got off of me and watched me carefully. I got up and rubbed my wrists. His grip was really tight, and kinda hurt. I settled myself against the wall and said simply, "She ruined my life."  
  
Haldir raised an eyebrow in a silent question to elaborate. I sighed, and started telling him the story. For the life of me, I don't get why. I had only told two other people what had happened that night. But they thought me crazy. I guess I just needed someone to know and understand.  
  
"A long time ago," I had the urge to say 'in a galaxy far, far away' but continued with the real story. "When I was only four years old, the strangest and most horrible thing happened to me. My parents had left me all alone. They had gone to a party at a friends house, and trusted that I would be fine. I was fine for most of the night too. But around midnight, I had a horrible nightmare that woke me up."  
  
I was reliving all this just as I talked about it. It was like I was back home in my old house.  
  
"I got up and went downstairs to find my dog BJ. He was a ten year old Golden Retriever and my best friend. I looked all around the house but couldn't find him. Then I heard some growling and barking. I went outback and saw old Beej snarling at the edges of the woods. I ran over to him and petted him and asked him what was wrong. Suddenly, I saw this bright light coming from the woods. I knew I wasn't supposed to go in the woods unless an adult was with me, but I was extremely curious and afraid the light would go away."  
  
I dimly noticed that Haldir was paying close attention. His body was leaning forward slightly and a wee bit too close to me. But the ledge that we were on was a bit small for a girl and an elf.  
  
"I grabbed BJ's collar and pulled him with me towards the white light. As we walked towards it, the light got dimmer, almost as if it was moving away. We reached a clearing and there, standing in the middle of it, was this magnificent lady. She was tall, with long wavy blond hair that went to her waist and bright blue eyes. She had on a simple, yet gorgeous white dress and was just standing there, watching me and BJ. BJ kept growling, but he didn't move away from me. He was a very protective old dog."  
  
I sighed at the memory of old BJ. He had been the best dog any self respecting person could have.  
  
"The lady greeted me and asked me what I was doing out in the woods so late at night. I told her that I had had a nightmare and was looking for BJ when I saw the pretty white light. The lady smiled and said that the light had come from her and that I should probably go back home and get some sleep. I asked her what she was doing there, and she said that she was waiting for someone. I asked her who, and she said a little girl about my age named Ashley McClane. I said that was my name, I was Ashley."  
  
Haldir wasn't blinking, and it was kinda freaking me out.  
  
"The lady smiled at me again and kinda glided over the grass to where I was. BJ showed his teeth and growled even louder. The lady held out a hand and suddenly BJ stopped growling and started whining. Then he just laid down on the grass and slept. I should have known to get out of there after that, but I didn't. The lady reached out to touch me, but then my legs started to work, and I turned to run. But the lady grabbed my arm," I rolled up my sleeve and showed him my arm. "and her touch was like fire and burned me. I screamed and she pulled away, saying that she was sorry it had to be like this. She said she wanted me to give in willingly, but obviously she had to do it forcefully. I started to cry, and hugged my arm."  
  
I rememberd this part the clearest. I remember the smell of the forest, the burning of my skin, the sound of her voice and the silence of the trees.  
  
"She started chanting something and held her hands over my head. I looked up at her, scared out of my wits. Then I felt a tingling sensation in my hands, and the burning of my arm disappeared slowly. Then I felt like a fire had been set on my back. I jumped up and cried out, and tried to reach my back to stop the burning. But it quickly stopped on its own, and was exchanged with a feeling of ice on my skin. I whimpered at the feeling, and looked up at the lady with fear. She had moved back to the center of the clearing and was staring up at the sky. I heard her murmur that the stars were beautiful tonight, then she looked at me. I backed away from her towards BJ. The last thing she said before disappearing was, 'One day, you will be able to save the future. Learn well, Narya.' And then, she was gone."  
  
I felt the weight of the world had been removed from my shoulders and sighed. I felt better, a lot better. I looked up at Haldir and saw that he was watching me closely.  
  
"She gave me four things that night Haldir. None of them I asked for. A burn in the shape of a hand, a giant tattoo on my back, the power to control and make fire, and the power to heal even the most severe wounds. You would think I wouldn't mind these new abilities. But these abilities scared my mom and dad. They decided that I was crazy, and sent me to a mental institute. A place where crazy people are put and forgotten. I was only four Haldir. FOUR! That's even younger in elvish years than in human years. What right did Galadriel have of burdening me with something like this and ruining my life? Tell me Haldir."  
  
I stared into his bright blue eyes and saw that same thing that had seen in his eyes that night when I had woken up from a nightmare. I knew what it was, I just couldn't put a name to it. It had been a long time since I had seen that in someones eyes.  
  
"No one has that right." he answered quietly.  
  
Then, for the first time in years, I cried. Not the bawling like babies, but quiet sobs. It was just so much, I couldn't take the strain.  
  
I felt a pair of strong arms grab me by my waist and gently pull me into a lap. I knew it was Haldir, who else could it be? I was slightly surprised, since he was always so cold, but I welcomed the comfort anyway.  
  
He held me and I cried on his chest, letting it all go. Haldir whispered nonsense like how everything was okay and rocked me back and forth. He held me and tried to soothe me for I don't know how long. All I know was that I eventually stopped crying, but sniffled a little still. Yet he kept on whispering in my ear and running his hands down my back.  
  
When I was finally completely under control, I turned and faced him. He was looking at me with that look, but he blinked and it was gone. And at that moment, I was happy to be in his company.  
  
I looked into the water and watched it swirl around.  
  
"Thanks Halidr. Thanks a lot."  
  
"Your welcome. Now go to sleep." He leaned back and stared at the ceiling.  
  
"Here? In your...um...lap?" I swallowed.  
  
"Unless you would prefer sleeping on the cold stone." was his answer. "It is too late to go back to the city. Night has already fallen."  
  
As much as I didn't like him, I figured it was a small price to pay for a good nights sleep. So, after shifting slightly and laying my head on his shoulder, I fell asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Faulkner: Sweet chapter, ne? Cookies and brownies to all that have reviewed this story so far. Thankies! I live off your reviews and the crazy nonsense my friends and I say. 


	5. Elves And Algebra Don't Mix

Faulkner: Thankies to all who have reviewed! Sixteen reviews and only four chapters! That may not seem like a lot to some people, but it is to me! I love you guys! (In the non-romantic sense, of course! Get those nasty thoughts out of your head!)  
  
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For the first time in months, I didn't have any dreams. My sleep was actually peaceful for a change.  
  
I looked into Haldir's face when I woke up and saw that his eyes were glazed over and his breathing was deep. I guess he was asleep. If I was anyone else I would have been all panicky and crap, but I grew up in a nut house. I'd seen creepier stuff than someone that sleeps with their eyes open.  
  
I watched him sleep, and I guess it was my staring that woke him up. His eyes slowly cleared up and he blinked once. Then he looked down at me.  
  
"Usually humans are disturbed by how elves sleep." he said.  
  
"Well, i've seen stranger things than someone sleeping with their eyes open. As a matter of fact, i've even done it a couple of times." and I grinned at him.  
  
I got up and stretched as best I could in the cramped space. Haldir had to stoop when he stood. I would've laughed if my stomach didn't start complaining.  
  
I looked at it and scowled. "Oh, shut up." Haldir looked at me funny, like I was crazy. Well, maybe I was just a *teeny* bit crazy. But I don't think I deserved to go to the Institute.  
  
"Please tell me I didn't run that far from the city." I pleaded with Haldir.  
  
"If I didn't, I would be lying. We are mearly a day and a halfs walk from where we first found you. We will need to move quickly."  
  
I groaned and walked over to the edge of the small ledge. "Well, what are we waiting for?" and I dived into the water and proceeded to swim to the shore. I loved the water. It was the exact opposite of fire, calm and soothing. Fire tended to be unpredictable and could burn you if you weren't careful.  
  
I resurfaced and saw that Haldir was waiting for me on the shore. I swam over and got up next to him. I shook myself a little and started after Haldir. I stopped a couple of times to make a veggie ball. He found them extremely odd and asked me about it.  
  
"Why do you eat those?"  
  
"Because it's better than starving and actually a little nourishing too." I answered. He just shook his head and continued on.  
  
My legs became jelly a few hours before lunchtime and I told Haldir I had to stop.  
  
"We have to keep moving."  
  
"But I can't. I'm normally not a complainer, but I really need to stop." I was out of breath and out of strength. I sat down on a tree root and leaned back. My leg muscles were really complaining. 'Look on the bright side,' I thought to myself. 'At least by the time this is over you'll be in great shape.' I snorted at this thought.  
  
Haldir was suddenly in front of me and kneeled down. He carefully felt my calves and I hissed as he touched a particularly sore spot. He sighed.  
  
"I did not know I was pushing you so hard." He looked into my eyes.  
  
I sighed and shifted a little. 'Kelsey said that elves were sensitive. I guess she wasn't refering to Haldir though.'  
  
Haldir sighed again and then turned around. "Get on."  
  
I stared at him. He wanted me to ride on his back? Maybe he was the crazy one. Well, it was either that or walking, so I carefully got on. He stood up and started off again at that same pace. Damn him and his long legs.  
  
"Do you people ever get tired?" I asked with a sigh.  
  
"Yes. But elves have better stamina than the other races of Middle-Earth." he explained. Figures. Good looking, pointy ears, immortal, and have nearly unending strength. Lucky little bastards.  
  
It was a little ways past lunch by the time we reached the city again. Haldir set me down at the outskirts, saying I could walk by now. But I knew that he didn't want the other elves to know that he had a heart.  
  
All too soon we also reached the stairs, and soon after that, the throne room where Galadriel was waiting. I gulped and started cracking my knuckles. Call it a nervous habit that would catch up to me in my old age. Haldir glared at me, and I stopped. Then started biting my nails. Oh jeez, I can't remember the last time I was this nervous.  
  
We entered the doors this time and saw that same bright light that eventually dimmed. I made a mental note to get a pair of sunglasses before I visited Galadriel again.  
  
This time I bowed with Haldir at Celeborn and Galadriel. I figured it was the least I could do.  
  
"All is forgiven child." Galadriel said. My head snapped up from staring at the floor and I looked straight into her eyes.  
  
They were bright blue, like Haldir's, only they held so much more than just wisdom and age. They showed power and..... knowing. Though her eyes were kind, they scared me. I turned to look at Celeborn, and his eyes were a dark green. They too showed wisdom and age, also a little bit of the same power that Galadriel held, but not that much. I liked his eyes better.  
  
"We should start on how you how you got here, should we not? Surely you are curious on how you are here, and not in the place that you call Earth?"  
  
I nodded at her words. Oh crap, my legs were getting that weak feeling again. I was gonna fall, I knew it.  
  
As if reading my mind, "But first we must go somewhere were you can get something to eat and sit. You must be weary from your trip back." This wasn't going too bad.  
  
I followed her and Celeborn through a door off to the side. In there, was a table with chairs and food. Oh goody, food! I wanted to hop into a chair and start piling food on my plate, but I had at least enough self control to wait until Galadriel and Celeborn sat.  
  
I sat down and looked at the food, then to Galadriel and Celeborn.  
  
"Go on, little one. Eat up, you surely haven't had any breakfast, or dinner." and Celeborn smiled at me as he said this. I grinned at him and started to eat my fill.  
  
I must say for the record that I am a very fast eater. I was first to sit down at the dinner table and first to leave. That didn't necessarily mean I didn't eat a lot. I always ate my fill, and occasionally, more than enough. Some of the older folks at the Institute said I ate enough to feed the homeless of New York. Anyway, i'll have some of you know that I do have manners when eating. I closed my mouth when chewing and said please and thank you. There's nothing worse than someone getting food all over themselves when eating.  
  
It was thoroughly disgusting.  
  
When I was finished, I gave a happy sigh and smiled. I was now put in a really good mood since I was full and waited for Galadriel to start speaking again.  
  
"One major factor in your coming was the very necklace that you wear." I started at this. How could my necklace do something as transport me to a completely different world?  
  
"That's impossible! This was given to me by some old man at the Institute! And besides, something like this would have to be done by magic, which doesn't even exist!" Already one sentence into the explanation and I was confused. I scanned the room for Haldir, and found him standing next to the door.  
  
"Magic does exist, obviously. For like you said, how else could you get here?" the Lady explained. "And your necklace is magical, and made for this very purpose." Then she went into an explanation about how it was made, which I didn't really get, but it wasn't important anyway. Yeesh, Galadriel was long-winded too.  
  
Finally, she got to the juicy stuff. "Then Gandalf the Grey was bestowed with the necklace. He was to go to your world and give it to you. I am not quite sure how he went about and did this, but he was obviously succcessful. For here you are." and she waved a hand to indicate the room and and myself. I nodded, and tried to pay attention.  
  
"I shall not try to tell you how, exactly, the necklace works. It ie very complicated, and involves the most oldest forms of magic available in Middle-Earth." I just nodded again, thankful that she didn't try. I barely got physics for crying out loud! I'm so pathetic... "Do you have any questions?"  
  
"Yeah. Why me?" I asked again. She hadn't explained that so clearly.  
  
She looked to her husband and he nodded. I guess he was taking up the explaining.  
  
"You have an exeptionally strong spirit."  
  
"Well, yeah, I got that part." and I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Not many people, especially those of the race of Men, have such a will. It has been fortold that one with a 'will of stone and heart of fire with a healers touch' would be able to save us from the great evil that has been regaining strength. My wife," he gestured to Galadriel, "has been searching for the one that was spoken of. The only problem, was that you were in a completely different world, with your gifts laid to rest."  
  
"My gifts? You mean the fire and healing abilities that Galadriel gave me?"  
  
Galadriel spoke this time. "Not gave, awakened."  
  
"They were better off asleep." I grumbled with a slight frown.  
  
"Do not be mad at me, little one. They would have awakened eventually on their own. It was better off for you that you were aware of them at an early age so you could get used to them and learn how to use and control them." Galadriel smiled at me slightly.  
  
Aw fudge. My concious was starting to gnaw at me. 'She was only trying to help. How was she going to know that you would be sent to the Institute? And hey, bonus! You get to save a world!'  
  
Then the cynical side of me started to argue. 'HELP save a world. Besides, what'm I s'posed to do?'  
  
I voiced this last question. "What am I s'posed to do?"  
  
Celeborn and Galadriel both gave me wide smiles. Uh oh, I wasn't gonna like this, I knew it.  
  
"For now, you are to learn." Galadriel stated.  
  
"Learn what?" Oh good grief. I already went through a kind of school at the Institute. That was pure hell. I can only imagine what they were gonna teach me.  
  
Celeborn answere this question. "You will learn weaponry, a little tracking, and other things necessary to survive in the wilds. Also some of our history so you can understand what is going on before you, and maybe how to speak elvish."  
  
I let my mouth drop open. I was speechless. How could they expect that much of me? I was seventeen frickin' years old! Oh, for the love of - This was insane!  
  
"How in the name of all that's holy am I supposed to learn all that crap!? I can barely do algebra, let alone track something! Have you all flipped your freaking minds!?" I burst.  
  
The two looked at me for a few moments. I started cracking my knuckles again, but stopped. Then Celeborn finally broke the silence.  
  
"What is algebra?" he asked with a frown.  
  
I stared at him in disbelief. How could he not know what algebra was? Oh wait. This place was sorta like the Middle Ages, with knights and all that crap. In the Middle Ages they didn't know about algebra, but they knew about adding and subracting. Maybe a little multiplication and division too.  
  
So I spent the next twenty minutes trying to explain algebra. Haldir had gotten me some kind of thick paper, a quill, and a small bottle of ink. I had never used a quill before, but I think I managed. I couldn't wait until I introduced them to pens. Lucky me that I had one in my hoodie. Wish I knew where my hoodie was, though.  
  
The three elves (I had included Haldir in my little lesson) I think grasped the PURPOSE of algebra, but couldn't really do it. So I sat back in my chair and sighed, deadpanned. Elves could do all this graceful and high and mighty crap, but couldn't do math worth beans.  
  
It was kinda funny. Haldir got annoyed when I started to chuckle.  
  
"What do you find so humorous?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice. That just made my chuckle turn into a laugh.  
  
It took me a while to get myself under control to explain it to them.  
  
"Here I am, a seventeen year old girl, teaching three elves who are hundreds, probably thousands of years old, algebra. Whereas in my world, you shouldn't even exist, yet, if you did exist, you would be experts at algebra. The fact that i'm not even anywheres near a teacher just adds to the ridiculous situation. But hey, according to the people in my world, i'm crazy, so there." I shrugged my shoulders and started to grin madly.  
  
To my complete and utter surprise, Galadriel and Celeborn started to chuckle also with grins on their faces.  
  
'Well, this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship' I thought. Haldir looked at me and could see that he was trying his best to not laugh along with his superiors. Things were taking a change for the better in my life. How refreshing.  
  
They sobered up after a moment and Celeborn got a serious. "Why did your people think you crazy, little one?"  
  
I ignored the faact that she kept calling me little one and lost my grin faster than you could say 'nutty'. I carefully made sure I didn't show any emotion as I answered.  
  
"My parents didn't understand my abilities. They thought me unsafe and sent me to a mental institution a month after Galadriel over here g-.... awoke my powers. I've been there ever since."  
  
"A mental institution?" he carefully pronounced the unfamiliar words.  
  
"A place where people who have unstable minds go. Nutcases, crazies, people who hear voices that aren't really there. Those kind of people." In actuality, some of the people that I knew at the Institution didn't deserve to be there. Some were just misunderstood.  
  
Like me.  
  
Then there were also the grade A nuts, whose condition was only made worse by the medication that they were given and different therapies that they were put through. Some of 'em made it, but most just got worse and stayed there the rest of their lives.  
  
Pfft, life sucked.  
  
I guess they all knew that words were being left out, but let it be. I guess I must've looked tired because Celeborn said something to Haldir and the elf directed me to the door and out to the long stairs. I felt my eyelids droop, and I didn't really notice where we were going.  
  
He made me climb up one of those rope ladders and into a tree house. I don't think that was what they called them, but I was too tired to ask. I sat down on the bed and took off my boots.  
  
Haldir eased me down on the bed and pulled the covers over me. I think I mumbled something because he gave me a rare smile. Then whispered something in my ear.  
  
I fell asleep with a small smile on my face. It felt great to have life going your way for a change.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------  
  
I remember waking up sometime in the night and not knowing where I was. I got out of bed and stumbled over to the window. I saw the weird ethereal glow and got scared. I backed into a corner and started to cry and rock myself.  
  
My back ached and the mark on my arm burned. I felt awful and just wanted to let the floor swallow me up. When I couldn't cry anymore I did the only thing that had comforted me when I had come to stay at the Institution.  
  
I sang.  
  
"I will dedicate and sacrifice my everything  
  
For just a seconds worth of how my story's ending  
  
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take  
  
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing  
  
Show me what it's for  
  
Make me understand it  
  
I've been crawling in the dark  
  
Looking for the answer  
  
Is there something more  
  
Than what i've been handed?  
  
I've been crawling in the dark  
  
Looking for the answer  
  
Help me carry on  
  
Assure me it's okay to  
  
Use my heart and not my eyes  
  
To navigate the darkness  
  
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?  
  
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?  
  
Show me what it's for  
  
Make me understand it  
  
I've been crawling in the dark  
  
Looking for the answer  
  
Is there something more  
  
Than what i've been handed?  
  
I've been crawling in the dark  
  
Looking for the answer  
  
So when and how will I know?  
  
How much further do I have to go?  
  
How much longer till I finally know?  
  
'Cause i'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me  
  
In front of me  
  
Show me what it's for  
  
Make me understand it  
  
I've been crawling in the dark  
  
Looking for the answer  
  
Is there something more  
  
Than what i've been handed?  
  
I've been crawling in the dark  
  
Looking for the answer."  
  
Someone must have entered when I was singing because now I noticed someone standing near the door. I started and tried to scoot even further back into the corner. I thought it was some orderly come to tell me to shut up and give me a sound thrashing.  
  
The orderlies never liked me much and treated me like dirt whenever they could. And that was usually most of the time.  
  
I whimpered and kept trying to scoot back. I closed my eyes as I saw him walk towards me. I prayed to every god of every religion that I knew of that he wouldn't draw this out like he had the last few times. I always felt vulnerable during the night, even though I loved the darkness.  
  
"Get away from me. I didn't mean to make noise. I'll go back to sleep." I pleaded in a small voice.  
  
I heard his light footsteps falter, then continue. I shielded my head with my arms and started to rock back and forth again, waiting for the rough hands to pull me up and drag me to the isolation chamber where he would beat me.  
  
I hated the Institution. I hated it! It was hell on earth!  
  
"What is wrong?" he asked me.  
  
I looked up at the face of the man. It hit me that I wasn't at the Institution anymore. I was safe, in Lothlorien with the elves.  
  
"H-.... Haldir?" My voice shook slightly and I cursed it.  
  
"What is wrong?" he asked again.  
  
I couldn't answer. Relief was spreading all through me that I was safe from the boring and most times harsh life of the Institute.  
  
Haldir walked forward and kneeled in front of me. The moonlight hit his face and I could easily see the worry in his eyes. His blond hair was almost white and his blue eyes reminded me of a clear stream. I wanted to tell him that I was all right now that someone was here, but I couldn't speak.  
  
I swallowed and shook my head. He must have just come back from his work, his quiver was on his back along with his bow and his long knife was at his side.  
  
Haldir reached out and picked me up.  
  
"You should be sleeping. You are still regaining your strength from the pressing march and your attempted escape." and he set me on the bed.  
  
As he turned to go, I grabbed his sleeve and pleaded with my eyes and voice. "Don't leave me Haldir. Please." I was scared and weak. I didn't want to be left alone again, even though I knew he was still in the same city.  
  
He looked like he was going to argue, then thought better of it. After removing his bow, quiver, long knife, and cloak he got onto the bed and I immediatly climbed into his lap. I guess he was surprised, but he quickly got over it and wrapped his strong arms around me.  
  
I instantly felt safe, like the world didn't matter and that nothing could touch me. He was warm and comfortable and made a good place to sleep. I then buried my face into his soft neck and inhaled his lovely scent. I didn't care that it was stick-up-the-ass. I had found out that he had compassion in him, but just didn't like to show it.  
  
I sighed. "Thanks." I whispered, and fell asleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: Isn't Haldir a sweety???? But don't worry peeps, he's not going soft! Not by a long shot. And love? That'll sorta kinda come into the picture a little later.  
  
Pinky: The song was Crawling In The Dark by Hoobastank. ROCK ON! ::the cute ghost holds up the rock on sign, along with Faulkner:: 


	6. Breakyfast And Tarot Reading Sorta

Faulkner: My next chapter on this story and In The End, Does It Matter? will be in a few weeks probably. I'm moving to bluegrass country (for those of you that don't know, that's Kentucky) and will be occupied with softball practices and games, packing, homework, and financial crap also. Just so's ya know.  
  
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I woke up feeling extremely warm and comfortable. The smell of the forest and rain tainted with muskness surrounded and wrapped around me like a blanket. A very comfy blanket that I didn't want to leave.  
  
I sighed, knowing that Haldir and I would eventually have to get up. I hate to sound like a baby, but I dun wanna! I was perfectly content where I was. Eh, i'd just enjoy it while I could. So, I closed my eyes and relaxed into him, drifting back into sleep.  
  
"I know you're awake. Don't you try to go back to sleep. We've both slept for long enough."  
  
I sighed again, this time in annoyance. Why did we have to go and get up?  
  
I rolled over and he sat up, smirking at me. Then he frowned, and his eyebrows furrowed in thought. I got up and stretched, then looked around for a clean pair of clothes. I was walking over to the chest of drawers when Haldir asked me that question.  
  
"Why were you scared of me last night?"  
  
I stopped in my tracks and thought for a lie, or excuse. Anything but the truth. He, or anyone for that matter, didn't need to know about what went on in the Institute.  
  
I shrugged and started walking again. "Nightmares." Whew, not a lie, but not exactly the truth either. I opened up the top drawer and found a bunch of pants and shirts. Among them, my own clothes, now clean.  
  
I pulled out my hoodie and set it down. Then I got out a nice pair of black pants and a dark green shirt. I turned around and saw Haldir watching me thoughtfully.  
  
"Um, Haldir? Do you mind if I change in privacy?"  
  
He blushed and mumbled something. After getting his weapons he left me alone to change.  
  
I couldn't help but look at my tattoo in the mirror. I wondered how it got there, and why it was there in the first place. What did it mean anyway?  
  
As on most days when I wondered about it, I shrugged it off and changed. I put on my hoodie over my clothes and brushed my hair.  
  
I met Haldir outside and he asked me to follow him.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked.  
  
"You do eat breakfast, don't you?" he answered.  
  
"Yep." I looked around as we walked, watching the elves we passed and the beautiful trees. I wasn't sure of what kind they were though. "Hey Haldir."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What's for breakfast?"  
  
"You will see." he answered. I scowled at him. Damn, he didn't need to be secretive about something like food. I was going to have ta do something about that.  
  
We reached a giant building that I guess was a hall of some sort. The guards at the entrance nodded at us as we went past them and I couldn't help but stare at the inside. It was beautiful, more glowy than all the other buildings that I saw.  
  
Inside there was a long table, filled with food and empty plates. I guess the elves were waiting for something or someone before eating. Then at the very end on a dais was the head table where the important people must be seated. Many pairs of eyes watched us pass by.  
  
"Uh, Haldir? Can't I sit down there somewhere?" I whispered so quietly that only he could hear.  
  
"You are a guest of honor. You will sit where you belong. Which is at the head table along with others of importance." he answered. I gulped and kept my eyes on the floor. I had a horrible condition called stage fright.  
  
"Do not lower your head in shame. Raise your head in pride, you have no reason to be embarassed." Haldir whispered in my ear. Trust me Haldir, I did want to look up, but my stupid stage fright kept it down.  
  
I heard Haldir sigh, and I elbowed him in the stomach and frowned at the floor. Damn elf.  
  
We reached the head table and he led me to a chair. He pulled it out for me and I sat down and started cracking my knuckles. Geez, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop from a mile away.  
  
Haldir took a seat to my left, and to my right were two empty seats. I glanced up at the table in front of me, and saw that all eyes were still on me. I looked at my hands, which were still cracking knuckles.  
  
"Stop that." Haldir put a hand over mine and my hands stopped. I looked up and gave him a nervous smile.  
  
"Sorry. Nervous habit." Then I looked at my hands that were sitting in my lap. Just for the sake of something to do, I practiced the sign language alphabet. There were a few people at the Institute that were deaf, and occasionally needed someone to talk to. Er, sign to I mean.  
  
"My lord, my lady." Haldir said and snuck a peek at who he was talking to.  
  
I nearly jumped out of my skin to see Celeborn and Galadriel taking the two empty seats. Celeborn took the seat nearest to me and gave me an encouraging smile. There was some kind of signal that I missed because the elves started talking and putting food on their plates.  
  
Despite my nervousness, I was starving. I kept asking Haldir what everything was, and I think he got slightly annoyed.  
  
Haldir sighed at my latest question and snapped, "What does it matter what it's called? If you like it, eat it!"  
  
I scowled at him and stuck out my tongue at him. I think some elves noticed, because they pointed our way and started whispering. I blushed and ducked my head, crossing my arms. At this rate, I was gonna lose my appetite.  
  
"Come now Haldir. You cannot scold her for curiosity." Celeborn came to my rescue. "Pay no mind to him. He is not a morning person."  
  
"Well neither am I, but you don't see me snapping at people." I gave Haldir what I thought was a scathing glance.  
  
He was about to retaliate, when Celeborn spoke. "Would you like some cheese?" and he held out a basket of some kind of cheese. It looked like a cross between cheddar and swiss.  
  
I grinned at him. "Yes please." I grabbed a couple chunks and passed the basket on to Haldir, who grumbled and passed it on to the elf sitting next to him.  
  
The rest of breakfast was really pleasant. Celeborn held a couple of conversations with me, mostly about my world and what my lessons that he was planning would entail. But I soon found out that he was uncomfortable with calling me Gostannen. I told him it was okay with me, and I under no circumstances wanted to be called by my birth name, Ashley. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when he started talking to me about another name.  
  
"Well, I cannot keep calling you Gostannen." Celeborn was saying.  
  
"Yes, you can. I don't see what's wrong with it." I replied. My fork was half-way to my mouth, and forgotten.  
  
"What would the people think if they heard that your name was Gostannen. They would be more scared of you than anything."  
  
"So? Point being?"  
  
Celeborn sighed, and was about to say something else when Galadriel interfered.  
  
"I have a good name for you, that I think you will like."  
  
"Yeah? What." I asked.  
  
"Narya." she said simply.  
  
"Narya." I tried the name out. Easy to say, probably not hard to spell either. "What does it mean?"  
  
Celeborn answered me. "Fiery one. I must say, it does fit." and he smiled at his wife.  
  
"Narya. I like it. Okay then. You can call me Narya." I smiled, then remembered my fork. "Ooops." and ate the food that had gone cold. Haldir sniggered, and I elbowed him.  
  
Right in the stomach.  
  
"Unless you want to see the contents of my stomach, I suggest you don't do that again." he remarked.  
  
"Cool. I wonder what the she-elves would do when they saw it." I got an evil grin and chuckled when I saw Haldir's horrified look. "Relax, i'm only messing with ya."  
  
He frowned and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'not normal.'  
  
"And proud of it." I mumbled. He heard me and frowned. "Careful. What would you do if that look was frozen on your face for the rest of your life?"  
  
Haldir narrowed his eyes at me and returned to his food. I smirked.  
  
Victory!  
  
Breakfast ended and all the elves got up and left. I waited until all of the elves had left before leaving myself. Thankfully, I remembered how we got to the dining hall, and found my way back to where I was staying with only taking two wrong turns.  
  
I explored the tree house thingy that I was staying in and found my clothes cleaned. Next to them were the things in my pockets.  
  
Let me see here... I had a deck of cards (including jokers), a superball, a stick of Big Red, two pens, a mechanical pencil, a napkin, a list of people I hated, a pocket dictionary, a rubberband, the small box I had kept my necklace in, and a rolled up black beanie with patches all over it.  
  
I decided to save the stick of gum for a special occaison and put it in the small box. I tested the pens on the list and found that they both worked. I checked out the mechanical pencil and saw that I had five pieces of lead. After putting the pens and pencil in my pocket, I checked out some of the other stuff. I hadn't the slightest idea where I got the pocket dictionary and set it aside with the list and napkin. The superball was small, about the size of a half dollar and was *really really* bouncy. I stuck that in my pocket and put everything else besides the cards in the beanie, closing the top with the rubberband.  
  
I took the jokers out of the deck and shuffled the cards, then played solitaire.  
  
I had been playing for about an hour, and was winning so far, when Haldir decided it was time to interrupt my fun.  
  
"The lord and lady wish to see you." he announced as he walked in.  
  
I frowned at the cards, then sighed. "I guess i'll finish the game when I get back." I stood up and stretched. I had been sitting over the cards on the floor, which wasn't an very comfortable postition after a while.  
  
Haldir knelt down and studied them. He reached out and picked up a card from the top of the deck. I looked up and saw the King of Hearts. I smirked, knowing a little of tarot reading and knowing what the King of Hearts meant.  
  
I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "You will find a great and powerful love right under your nose."  
  
"What?" He turned and faced me. I leaned back on my haunches and and studied him. He seemed a bit paler than usual. Eh, probably the light.  
  
"That's the King of Hearts in your hand." Haldir looked at the card. "The King of Hearts usually foretells love. Whoever draws him will be the victim of that love." I nodded sagely. "You drew him from the deck. Obviously you will find love." I stood up and watched him place the card facedown on the pile rather quickly. "Or love will find you." I said with a shrug.  
  
"Impossible." he whispered to himself.  
  
"Hey, the cards don't lie."  
  
Haldir looked at me and stood up. "Come. We can't keep the lord and lady waiting." and he brushed past me and out the door. He seemed a little uncomfortable.  
  
Haldir? Uncomfortable? Nah! But then again.....  
  
As I watched him closely, he looked a little stiffer and more uptight than usual. I snorted. Stick-up-the-ass probably wasn't capable of love. He could be capable of compassion, i'd seen that. But love? That was like asking the sun to stop rising every morning and for the stars to stop shining.  
  
Impossible!  
  
Wasn't that exactly what he had said? Maybe he knew he wasn't capable of love. Or maybe he was scared of it...  
  
Argghh! Why should I be thinking about this? It's none of my buisness! Not like I care either, but it was still kinda odd. Hmph. I think i'm gettin' soft.  
  
This time we didn't go up those stairs. Instead, we passed them by and came to a small flight of stairs that went up to one of the most beautiful treehouse things that they lived in. Whew, these elves sure knew how to live.  
  
Haldir led me up the stairs and nodded at the pair of guards. The guards nodded back and moved aside. Haldir knocked and waited a second, then entered like he had been given some signal. Wait a sec.... Drat it, he was an elf and had super hearing! I gotta get me a pair of those ears!  
  
We entered into a library that had floor to ceiling bookcases stuffed with books and scrolls. This was my one weakness that would be my downfall.  
  
I had a soft spot for books.  
  
I recognized Celeborn sitting at a table with a book in front of him. Galadriel was sitting in a comfy armchair with a cup of something in her hand. They were both looking at us, and I barely came to that conclusion before I sped over to the nearest bookcase.  
  
My hands searched the spines of books as a looked over them all. Some were really really old, some were old, and some were a bit newer. But all were well cared for, I could tell. I was so used to seeing ruined and abused books that it was a relief to see these so well looked after.  
  
I pulled one out on a whim and flipped through the pages. The words were all flowy and crap and completely unreadable to me. I shrugged and put that one back, then pulled out another one a little ways down. It was also written in the flowy script that was more like designs than writing to me.  
  
Catching on, I put this one back and pulled another one out. I scowled as the weird writing looked back at me.  
  
"Fuck." I whispered as I put the book back. I turned around and noticed Haldir's scandalized look. Celeborn and Galadriel's eyes were twinkling in amuesment.  
  
"Are they all the same?" I asked. I was gonna actually go insane if I couldn't read a decent book!  
  
"If you mean written in our language, then yes." Galadriel answered, then took a sip from her cup.  
  
"Well that's just bloody perfect. Hundreds of books and I can't read even one of them!" It was a scandal I tell ya!  
  
"This is an elvish city. You cannot expect us to keep copies of books in the Western Tongue. Especially since Men have less than rarely ever come here." Haldir snapped.  
  
"Well ya'd think that you would keep one or two out of curiosity." I mumbled dejectedly. As far as I knew, the only book that I could read here was the pocket dictionary in my room.  
  
"You won't have any time for reading anyways. Your training will take up most of your time." Celeborn said. "Come. Sit." He motioned to a chair next to him and I shuffled over and sat.  
  
"So what's the schedule?" I asked.  
  
"From what I gathered in our talk at breakfast you don't know anything about weaponry." Celeborn started.  
  
"I do too! I know the names of weapons and some of 'em I know the basics of how to use!" I interrupted.  
  
"Have you ever actually held and used a weapon before? Any weapon?" Haldir asked from incredibly close. I jumped slightly in my chair and saw Celeborn's lips quirk. Smart elf, he wasn't gonna try to cross me! I hope.  
  
"Well.... Sort of." I replied.  
  
"Sort of?" he scoffed. Okay Haldir, you are gonna piss me off. "It's a simple yes or no question."  
  
"There was this one time I tried to stab an orderly with this butter knife. I grazed his cheek, and left a tiny white scar on his cheek. It's pretty hard to see unless you're lookin' for it." I remembered that day. It was rainy and I was sick. I had a cold and an orderly was trying to shove horse pills down my throat. In the end, he had to give me an injection.  
  
"I don't think that is an actual experience with a weapon though. But I did fight, so that counts right?" I asked them. I looked from Celeborn's amused face to Haldir's slightly confused one.  
  
"I think it counts as assault with an eating utensil. Not fighting experience." Celeborn finally said.  
  
"Shucks."  
  
"As I was saying, the first thing that you will learn in your training is how to fight. You will find out which style suits you and learn it." Celeborn explained. "That will be the morning training. After lunch, you will learn how to ride a horse."  
  
"A horse?!" I exclaimed. "Don't get me wrong, I like animals. But riding a horse? I doubt I could mount one, let alone ride one."  
  
"That is why you will be taught. After supper you will take history leasons, and maybe some elvish too." he continued.  
  
"Urgh. It's school all over again. It was hard enough in the Institute. I have a bad feeling about this." I groaned. This was not sounding good to me. Why did I have to open my big mouth and agree to help a world that wasn't even mine in distress?  
  
I get myself into the worst situations.  
  
"Relax. You have nothing to fear. Besides, it is all for your own good." Celeborn gave me a rather fatherly smile. But then again, how would I know how a father would smile at his kid? I barely knew my dad. I can't even remember what he looked like...  
  
"Narya?"  
  
I looked up at Celeborn who seemed a little worried.  
  
"Hmmmm? What? Did I miss something?"  
  
Celeborn studied me for a second before answering slowly. "I was just saying that it would be best that these lessons should start as soon as possible. What do you think?"  
  
"Tomorrow sounds good to me. Plenty of time to arrange stuff." I answered. My eyes wandered and stopped on Galadriel. For the first time I noticed a strange ring on her hand. It seemed to wink at me, and I shivered slightly.  
  
Creepy.  
  
"Well." I said, standing up. "If that's everythin', i'd like to get back to my solitaire game."  
  
I got the feeling that they didn't have a clue what solitaire was. But they let me go anyway without any questions.  
  
After Haldir left the room I fell on the bed and breathed a sigh of relief. Galadriel was as creepy as they got, not to mention as beautiful as they got. What had Rumil said about her?  
  
"'She can read minds and speak to one through telepathy. All with the help of her ring.' That must've been the ring Rumil was talkin' about." I muttered to myself. "Yeesh. Things just keep gettin' weirder and weirder."  
  
I got up and sat down on the floor in front of my solitaire game. I lost eventually and started to shuffle the cards. I kept thinking about the odd way Galadriel seemed to understand. Had she read my mind during those times? Probably.  
  
I got bored and started making a card house. It kept falling over every time I got to the second level. But when I finally did reach the top, I carefully and slowly lowered the last two cards down-  
  
-when Haldir walked in and scared the shit out of me. I yelped and knocked the card house over.  
  
"AW HELL. I give up!" I jumped up and glared at the fallen cards. "Stupid cards." I grumbled.  
  
I looked up and saw Haldir watching the cards suspiciously. I got the feeling he didn't like them that much. Maybe he thought they were possesed. I snickered at the thought of my deck of cards chasing a hysterical Haldir.  
  
He glared at me. "What is so funny?" he growled.  
  
"Nothing, nothing." I waved my hand and calmed myself. "Just thought of somethin' funny."  
  
"Do tell."  
  
"Ah, no." I replied. "You wouldn't find it funny. Besides, why'd you come here?"  
  
Haldir glared at the cards again and carefully walked around them.  
  
"I thought you might be bored." he said as he watched the cards like they were gonna jump up and bite him on the butt.  
  
I was about to say something kinda rude when I decided that I needed entertainment a lot more than to see Haldir's tights get all in a bunch.  
  
"Well, you thought right." I replied and stared gathering up my cards. I stacked them and set them on a small table that was off to the side. "What do you have in mind?" I asked.  
  
I thought I saw his lips twitch. "Follow me and you will see."  
  
I stared at him suspiciously, but decided to come.  
  
He took me out into a more remote part of the forest that was on the outskirts of the city. I suddenly heard thunking in the direction that he was taking me.  
  
"Whuzzat?"  
  
"You will see. Just a little farther." I noticed for the first time that he had brought his bow and arrows with him. Maybe he forgot to take them off?  
  
Uh-oh.  
  
We breached the trees and came to a clearing with targets on one side and archers on the other. Right now there were only about five of them. All of them kept hitting the center of their targets. That was what was making those thunking sounds.  
  
"Please tell me you're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do." I said.  
  
"Is learning archery so bad?" he asked, looking down at me with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"When you have my coordination, yes." I replied. I think he was trying not to smirk at me.  
  
The nerve of some people. Why couldn't I have at least a little elegance? Only a tad bit of it would do wonders for me. Mystical powers, bad attitude, and the worst case of clumsiness you'd ever see all wrapped into one.  
  
Yep, that was me. I'm lucky I haven't embarrassed myself by tripping over something by now.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: For some people who might be wondering who Ashley/Narya is modeled after, she is actually completely made up. The only thing that she has in common with anybody is the klutziness. Myself and my friend Kailee happen to be very major klutzes. We always somehow manage to trip over our own feet and something that isn't even there! It is very embarassing, and yet very funny at the same time!  
  
Pinky: They always manage to provide some comic relief!  
  
Faulkner: Shush you! Oh, side note! Narya is actually the name of one of the Elven Rings! I do believe it is the one that belongs to Cirdan, that Gandalf borrowed. 


	7. Anger Is Baaaaaaad, Lunch Is Goooooood

As I held the bow I figured out it wasn't his. This one was smaller so I wouldn't have trouble holding it. Haldir was trying to teach me the basics of holding a bow properly, and I wasn't doing so bad. When I had that down to his satisfaction, he taught me how to shoot without actually giving me an arrow.  
  
Smart elf.  
  
When I had this down to his satisfaction I was given an actual arrow to fire. I made sure he was safely behind me before pulling the string back. My arm was shaking slightly from the unfamiliar workout. I aimed down the arrow and released before my arm gave out.  
  
The arrow fell five feet short of the target. I was surprised that I had done so good. I did a little happy dance, but stopped when I saw Haldir's slight frown.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"You didn't hit the target. Your shot fell short. You didn't pull back far enough." he listed the things I did wrong.  
  
"Well, you're lucky I didn't shoot someone. Or myself for that matter. And i'd say that's pretty good for a beginner."  
  
Haldir sighed and the archery lesson continued. It took two more tries for me to hit the target, and hit one of the rings halfway to the middle. I did another small happy dance at this accomplishment. I was starting to think that my clumsiness wouldn't come into the picture.  
  
But I wasn't that lucky.  
  
It was nearing lunchtime and Haldir had just finished correcting a few small mistakes I had made. I hadn't progressed any further than hitting the rings halfway to the middle.  
  
Faulkner: I hate moving. Simple as that. I. Hate. MOVING!!!!!! IT IS A SERIOUS PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
My arm was tired and I felt like it was time to stop. Haldir insisted that we kept on going.  
  
Foolish elf.  
  
I drew back as far as I could go and felt my arm shaking uncontrollably. I let go too early and heard Haldir curse. I watched in horror as the arrow hit a tree and rebound towards an elf. The elf yelped and dropped to the ground. It missed him and went into the forest.  
  
I saw the elf shakily get up and stare at me with an open mouth. I turned to Haldir and saw that he was angry at me.  
  
"LUNCH BREAK!" I yelled. I dropped the bow and high tailed it outta there.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I stayed in my little tree house room thingy all through lunch. A messenger dude had come to get me for lunch, but I had told him that I wasn't hungry. He had looked at me for a few seconds before bowing and leaving.  
  
Frankly, I was scared shitless at what Haldir might do. Even though it was his fault for not listening to me when I told him my arm was tired.  
  
But back at the Institute the orderlies didn't care whose fault it was. Only that something bad happened and you did it. No mercy, not even for the crazy people.  
  
God, I hated that place.  
  
My stomach kept complaining at its emptiness and I kept trying to keep myself busy. I got bored with the cards and they were my only source of entertainment. I laid on the made bed and stared at the ceiling. I hated being bored.  
  
"I am a question to the world  
  
Not an answer to the earth  
  
Or a moment  
  
That's held in your arms  
  
And what do you think you'd ever say?  
  
I won't listen anyway  
  
You remove me  
  
And i'll never be what you want me to be  
  
And what  
  
Do you think you understand  
  
I'm a boy, no i'm a man."  
  
I thought I heard something creak, but dismissed it. What could be creaking all the way up here?  
  
"You can't take me  
  
And throw me away  
  
And how can you learn what's never shown?  
  
Yeah, you stand here on your own  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause i'm not here  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Want to hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can the world want me to change?  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause i'm not here  
  
And you see the things they never see  
  
All you wanted - I could be  
  
Now you know  
  
And i'm not afraid  
  
And I want to tell you who I am  
  
Can you help me be a man?  
  
They can't break me  
  
As long as I know who I am  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Want to hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can the world want me to change?  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
They don't know me  
  
'Cause i'm not here  
  
They can't tell me who to be  
  
'Cause i'm not what they see  
  
Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me  
  
And their words are just whispers and lies i'll never believe  
  
And I want a moment to be real  
  
Want to touch things I don't feel  
  
Want to hold on and feel I belong  
  
And how can they say i'll never change?  
  
They're the ones that stay the same  
  
I'm the one now  
  
'Cause i'm still here  
  
I'm the one  
  
'Cause i'm still here  
  
I'm still here  
  
I'm still here  
  
I'm still here...."  
  
I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, relishing the silence. Then my stomach had to go and ruin the moment by growling.  
  
"Oh, phooey. Fine then, have it your way. Stupid stomach's a bottomless pit." I grumbed to myself. I opened my eyes and sat up. I thought I heard that creaking noise again. I looked around the room and saw nothing.  
  
"I've gotta be goin' paranoid." I shook my head and climbed out of the tree. I looked around for Haldir. "Okaaaaay. No Haldir in sight. Maybe i'll get lucky and not get a serious ass-whoopin'."  
  
"What is an 'ass-whoopin'?" a voice asked behind me. I jumped out of my skin and whirled around.  
  
I paled as I saw that is was Haldir. He was leaning agains the tree as casually as can be. Oh dear, I was in for it now. I tried to speak, but nothing would come out. Dammit, not good!  
  
"Were you looking for me?" he asked. He stood up straight and walked toward me. My eyes widened and I backed away from him. He stopped and frowned. "What is wrong?"  
  
I did the only thing I knew to do.  
  
Run.  
  
I ran as fast as I could away from him. I ran away from what he was bound to do to me. I was scared of him, and afraid of what he would do to me. Yeah, sure, he could be nice at times. But I knew there was always that small pocket of anger sleeping inside him somewhere. I was so scared of that.  
  
There. I admitted it. I was scared.  
  
I stopped running when I was out of breath. I stooped over and tried to catch my breath and slow my breathing down. When I looked up I found that I was in a small clearing. I sat down and leaned against the trunk of one of the giant trees.  
  
It was peaceful there and it helped me try to reason with myself. I knew Haldir would never hurt me. He hadn't yet, and he had had good reason to a few times. So why did I run from him and think he would hurt me?  
  
Argh. It was the Institute. It had done this to me. I sighed and looked at the green grass that surrounded me.  
  
"I did not see you at lunch." a deep voice said from in front of me. I looked up and started when I saw Lord Celeborn. What was it with these damn elves and scaring the crap out of people!?  
  
"I wasn't hungry." I mumbled. I looked back at the grass and frowned. My stomach was saying the exact opposite.  
  
He chuckled. I guess he heard it too. Damn their ears.  
  
"What is the real reason?" he asked me. I kept staring at the grass. Maybe if I didn't answer he would go away.  
  
No such luck.  
  
"I will not leave until you answer me." he said, as if reading my mind.  
  
I mumbled an answer that was the actual truth. I figured that hell, what was the worst he could do? Certainly no worse than those dead-beats at the Institute.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Something happened and Haldir got mad at me. I didn't want to meet him at lunch." I said louder.  
  
"What happened?" I heard only concern in his voice. That would change after I answered this question.  
  
So, I told him what had happened. I was careful to not sound scared, even though I was. Who knew what would happen to me. I waited after I finished my little story to hear the yelling. There was silence for a little longer than I would have liked.  
  
"Haldir should not be mad at you." Celeborn finally stated. I looked up at him, shocked. "It was his fault for not listening to you. Besides, he should be over a small thing like that. The elf was unharmed, you say?"  
  
"Well, maybe a little scared and dirty, but fine." I managed to get out. He wasn't mad at me? Well, this was a first. "I think i'll go now." I needed to figure out what the hell was going on. I just didn't understand this place and its people.  
  
Damn, I should have read those stupid books.  
  
I got up to leave, but Celeborn stood in my way. I looked up at him, and saw that he truly was concerned. My feelings started to go berzerk. I couldn't understand why, but I knew he was concerned for ME. He was curious about why *I* wasn't at lunch. He cared about ME.  
  
Little ol' me.  
  
And then the water works opened up.  
  
I started to cry. I made sure I didn't make any noise as I lowered my head and tried to dart around him. Damn his reflexes! He saw this and grabbed me. I struggled, but he was too strong. He pulled me into a hug and I still tried to escape. But I gave up and tried to lose myself into the folds of his robes.  
  
I didn't get the people here. I was scared at all the differences and all the newness. It was scaring me more than the orderlies did. I just don't think I could take it.  
  
Celeborn understood a little of what I was feeling, I guess. He took it all in stride and let me cry. He held me and whispered soothing words in elvish. I calmed down after a little while, but still held onto him. I guess I was afraid that if I let go, he would disappear.  
  
It probably sounds funny to yah, a seventeen year old crying and being comforted by an elven lord. But it's the God's honest truth.  
  
I closed my eyes and cherished the few moments of safety that I felt. And to this very day I still remember that moment. But, what I thought was all too soon, Celeborn pulled away slightly and moved so he could look straight in my eyes.  
  
"I know it is all a lot for you to take in, so young. But you must try your best. We will all need you, and your rare abilities. If you do that, no one will have any reason to be mad at you." he encouraged. He smiled and hugged me again. "Your best, is all that matters." he whispered in my ear. He pulled back, the smile still on his face.  
  
I gave him a slight grin. "Thanks. Like you said, it's just a bit much to take in all at once. I guess I needed to get that out. All better now." My stomach complained, rather loudly I might add. Celeborn chuckled and stood up straight. "Weeeeellll. Almost anyway. I'm starving. Is there any chance that I might get something to eat? Please?" I pleaded.  
  
This time he let out a deep laugh at me.  
  
"I can't help it!" I crossed my arms over my chest and pretended to pout. "I'm a growing teen. I need food." Then I added with a sly grin, "Unless you intend on starving me as part of my training."  
  
He gave me a mock horrified look. "Me? Starve a growing girl? I couldn't do it with my own child, let alone you. Now, come. Let us get you something to eat." He put an arm around my shoulders and directed me away from the clearing and hopefully to a place where I could stuff myself.  
  
As we walked, I thought back to his words.  
  
"You had a kid?" I asked. Celeborn nodded.  
  
"A girl. Her name was Celebrian. She married an elf named Elrond. You will learn about him in some of your studies that I am arranging. He is the Lord of Imladris. Or Rivendell as the Men call it. They had three children. Twin boys, Elladan and Elrohir, and a girl, Arwen."  
  
"What did she look like?" I asked. I bet she was gorgeous. Any child of Galadriels and Celeborns was bound to be beautiful.  
  
"She was beautiful. She looked much like her mother. Long blond hair and bright blue eyes with the loveliest smile you would have ever seen." he said fondly.  
  
"Where's she now?" I asked tentatively. He talked as if she was dead. I didn't want to open up any old wounds.  
  
He smiled sadly and replied, "She has sailed for Valinor."  
  
I didn't ask any more questions and we walked in silence. The few elves we did pass bowed at Lord Celeborn and gave me a funny look. I thought that if they didn't like me, that was their problem.  
  
We came upon a building that was fairly empty when we entered. The only elves there were a few who were getting an early start on dinner.  
  
When we entered, a she-elf came up to us and bowed to Celeborn.  
  
"What can I do for you My Lord?" she asked timidly.  
  
"Narya here missed lunch. I was wondering if there were any leftovers that she might have." and he indicated me to the she-elf. She nodded and showed us to an empty table.  
  
"If you'll wait here, I think I can find something." She smiled at me, and I smiled back.  
  
I took a seat and looked around. I noticed that all the workers were watching as discreetly as they could. I sniggered to myself at their wonder. I turned to thank Celeborn, and found that he had sat with down also. I tried to tell him that he needn't be there, but the stubborn elf wouldn't listen to me.  
  
I sighed, deadpanned. Then shrugged. If he wanted to watch me eat, then he could watch me eat. After all, he was the King of this place. He could do whatever he pleased.  
  
The she-elf returned with a plate full of food. I thanked her and gave her a happy smile. The elf smiled back and bowed at Celeborn. I thought my back would break if I had to do that much bowing.  
  
I shrugged again and started wolfing my food down. I ate fast, but I always used my table manners. I chewed with my mouth closed and didn't drop any food. I wasn't wasteful when it came to food.  
  
In less than four minutes all the food was gone and I was asking for seconds. The she-elf looked at the plate in surprise, then me. She shook her head and took the plate to get me more. I looked back and saw that Celeborn had a funny look on his face. His mouth kept twitching, and I finally got fed up with it after a minute or so.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I have never seen anyone, or anything, eat that fast, and then want more." He shook his head, and then I realized that he had been trying not to laugh. "And I do not think that I will ever will again."  
  
"You're probably right about that. I've seen a few people try to eat like me, and then get sick and throw it all up again. You won't believe this, but a few people even betted on who could eat faster without letting it all back up. I won too, and I was only ten when this was happenin'."  
  
He raised and quizzical eyebrow. "Really? And where was this?"  
  
I didn't get the chance to answer, because the she-elf came back with another full plate. Less than four minutes later, I was finished with that plate.  
  
When the she-elf came back, I asked for some water. She smiled, took the plate, bowed at Celeborn, and went to get my water. She came back with an empty cup and a pitcher full of water. I thanked her and filled my cup.  
  
I surprised them yet again, when I drank all of this in one go. I put the cup back down and filled it up again. This time I drank a bit more slowly so as to not give myself a stomach ache. When I finished that cup I thanked the she-elf and stood to leave. The she-elf bowed to Celeborn and we both left the kitchens.  
  
I looked around, trying to memorize where it was so I could find it again.  
  
"I guess i'll go back to my room and get bored. Thanks for everythin'." I started off, then turned back around. "Ummm.... Could you tell me how to get back?"  
  
Celeborn let out that deep laugh again and led me back to the treehouse thingy that I stayed in.  
  
Celeborn said good-bye and turned to leave, but I stopped him.  
  
"What are these things called anyway?" I asked.  
  
"Talans, or flets." he answered.  
  
"Ah. Thanks." I went up the ladder and inside the flet. I turned around and looked out the window. I was surprised to see Celeborn still standing there. I was about to ask him what was wrong, when I noticed he hadn't noticed me.  
  
I saw his lips move, and just barely caught what he said. It would have been a lot easier if I had that damn elvish hearing.  
  
Problem was, he was speaking in elvish! After saying a few lines of something he got a wry smile on his face. "Somehow, you have already wormed your way into my heart." Then he turned and strode off.  
  
I turned back into the room and sat on the bed. I sat there and tried to understand what the hell he said before the english part. After five minutes I gave up and fell back onto the bed. I think I could have adjusted to this life if it meant no meds and a comfy bed.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: I would have wrote the actual elvish he said, but I don't have time to figure it out. I might find some time to do it later and write it in some day.  
  
Pinky: The song was I'm Still Here by the Goo Goo Dolls. 


	8. Making Up Ain't So Bad

Faulkner: Thank you all for your patience! I made it alive to Kentucky, with my whole damn zoo in the car. All I have to say about it is this: Motels suck ass, there are four bastards in Arkansas that nearly killed us in their cars, Toad Suck Park and Bucksnort are stupid names, and this one lady wanted $5.49 for a regular grilled cheese sandwich. Anyways, enjoy this chapter! Sorry it took so long. It took a couple days to set the computer up. THEN, the damn internet decided to not work!!!  
  
Pinky: Moving sucks ass!!!! Remember that kiddies!  
  
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I laid on the bed mulling things over for about an hour I guess. It was so hard to tell time in this place. I finally decided that it would be best if I found Haldir and tried to work things out. I guess I sorta owed him an explanation. I just hoped Celeborn was right.  
  
I didn't feel like gettin' the crap beaten out of me when ends were finally starting to meet.  
  
So I wandered around, trying to find Haldir. That damn elf was always there when you didn't need him. But when he was needed.... Poof! He disappeared into thin air like some friggin' magician! Grrrr...  
  
I groaned in annoyance and plopped down on a bench. I suppose I was in some sort of garden. All the flowers around me were prettyful and made a nice display. I laid down on the stone bench and let my legs dangle over the end, while I rested my head on my arms, staring into the treetops.  
  
It was nearly impossible to see at least an inch of sky. Sunlight filtered in through the cracks and through the leaves, giving everything a light green tinge. I let my eyes wander and make shapes with the cracks in the treetops, like you would with the stars.  
  
It was paradise. Who needed Heaven when there was Lothlorien? I let my mind drift and wondered what exactly I was supposed to do in this strange word. It probably would have helped if I had read the books. I saw a little bit of the movie in the rec room, but only the fighting and chase scenes. Now THOSE were awesome.  
  
I sighed, imagining what some of the others at the Institute would say if they knew about my predicament. Well, it would do no good wondering about them. I was never going back THERE. Nothing could keep me from staying in Middle-Earth.  
  
"You cannot quit me so quickly  
  
Is no hope in you for me  
  
No corner you could squeeze me  
  
But i've got all the time for you love  
  
The space between  
  
The tears we cry...  
  
Is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more  
  
The space between...  
  
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain  
  
But will I hold you again  
  
These fickled fuddled words confuse me  
  
Like will it rain today  
  
We waste the hours with talking talking  
  
These twisted games we're playing  
  
We're strange allies  
  
With warring hearts  
  
What a wild eyed beast you be."  
  
Ah, Dave Mathews. The dude always seemed to have the strangest lyrics in his best songs. I closed my eyes and smiled. Even as I sang the song, I could hear the music accompanying it in my head.  
  
"The space between  
  
The wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain  
  
But will I hold you again  
  
Will I hold  
  
Look at us spinning out in the madness of a rollercoaster  
  
You know you went off like the devil in the church  
  
In the middle of a crowded room  
  
All we can do my love  
  
Is hope we don't take this ship down  
  
The space between  
  
Where you smile and hide  
  
Is where you'll find me If I get to go  
  
The space between  
  
The bullets in our firefight  
  
Is where i'll be hiding waiting for you  
  
The rain that falls  
  
Splashed in your heart  
  
Ran like sadness down the window into your room  
  
The space between  
  
Our wicked lies is  
  
Where we hope to keep safe from the pain  
  
Take my hand  
  
'Cause we're walking out of here  
  
Right out of here  
  
Love is all we need dear  
  
The space between  
  
What's wrong and right  
  
Is where you'll find me hiding  
  
Waiting for you  
  
The space between  
  
In your heart and mind  
  
Is the space we'll fill with time  
  
The space between."  
  
I sighed again. This place was starting to affect me.  
  
"That was beautiful." someone said.  
  
I tried to stand and sit up at the same time and ended up on my stomach on the grass. I hurriedly stood up and looked at Haldir. That friggin' elf was going to give me a heart attack one of these days....  
  
"Hiya Haldir." I said.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Haldir spoke again.  
  
"May I ask a question?"  
  
"You just did." I replied. He snorted and tried to give me a condescending look. Didn't work on me.  
  
"Why did you run from me?"  
  
Dang it. There it was. Why DID I run away from him? It was a confusing matter that I wasn't sure I could explain. So I went back to old reliable.  
  
I shrugged and said, "I don't know."  
  
Old reliable didn't work today. He stepped forward and put his hands on my shoulders. Haldir looked into my eyes and held my gaze. I hoped that my expression didn't show him anything.  
  
"Why were you afraid of me?" he asked softly. Did I hear a note of hurt in his voice? Impossible! I tried to look away, but couldn't.  
  
"I'm not afraid of you, Haldir." I answered.  
  
"Then why did you run?"  
  
"I..." I didn't want to tell him. He wouldn't understand. He may be a least 2,000 some years old, but he wouldn't understand. He was never ridiculed and feared like I was. Or hurt like I was. "I can't tell you." I whispered.  
  
"Why?" he whsipered back. "Please, tell me." I thought I caught a flicker of caring in his eyes.  
  
"You wouldn't understand." I choked out. Then I pulled away from him roughly and turned to look at the treetops again. "No one would understand." I told him.  
  
"Try me." he challenged.  
  
I hesitated. I shouldn't tell him. It was my own buisness. But something prompted me to tell him.  
  
"I was young and impressionable, Haldir. I had been given something that I didn't fully understand. And because of it, I was told that I was dangerous and sometimes evil. I was told that I didn't deserve to live, and that I was a menace. I was given stuff that poisoned my system, and made me sick. This went on for years, along with other things." I couldn't look at him now. I didn't want to see the pity. "I thought for the longest time that I WAS better off dead. Even among the crazy people, I didn't fit in. Just like I don't fit in here. I'm just one of those people that don't belong anywhere. And that's my life story."  
  
The forest was silent. Everything was quiet.  
  
"Happy?" I asked him sourly. Some of my most painful memories were dragged up with that little discussion. Then again, all my memories were painful, since I didn't really have any good ones.  
  
"Why would I be happy that you have suffered so?" he said so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. I looked at the forest floor and crossed my arms over my chest.  
  
Everything was falling down around my head.  
  
I frowned, disgusted at myself. The stupid elf had gotten to me, and was prying into my life. Why couldn't he let all these things rest? I had thought that they were all behind me. I started shuddering.  
  
I felt two hands on my shoulders and pull me backwards slowly. I gave into their pullings, and was stopped by a solid body. Two arms wrapped around me and stopped my shivers. I leaned back gratefully into his embrace and let my head rest on his shoulder.  
  
I needed this. I wanted to feel comforted for a change. It helped when Celeborn had done it, and it was helping now. I think i'm growing soft.  
  
I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. Only the pain of the memories and warmth of Haldir's body that tried to calm me.  
  
I hated feeling like this, and yet loved the attention that I got because of it.  
  
"I'm so sick of it Haldir." I whispered. I closed my eyes and put on a grimace/frown/snarl.  
  
"Sick of what?" he asked.  
  
"Everything. The Institute, the powers, the hate, everything." I replied.  
  
"This Institute..... It is the place where you were put when your parents found out?"  
  
"Yeah. That God awful place was a prison with invisible bars." That was true. There were no bars on the grounds, or in the buildings. Only wire and orderlies that kept everyone in.  
  
"That place is in the other world. You are here, in Lorien. You will not be persecuted here. You are safe." he reassured.  
  
I opened my eyes and looked at Haldir. I grinned at him. "Safe." I said. He nodded, and my grin became a smile. "Thanks Haldir. I needed that." I stood up straight and he let go of me. I looked back up at the treetops, and wondered why this place was so beautiful.  
  
You'd never see a place like this on Earth, that's for sure. But still, beauty like this couldn't be common. That would be impossible, even for Middle-Earth!  
  
"That was a beautiful song. What is it called?" Haldir asked.  
  
"You call that beautiful?" I laughed, and he looked confused. "Sorry. I just don't think i'm much of a singer. Though, it does help at times. It's called The Space Between, by the Dave Matthews Band. You wouldn't know them."  
  
He just nodded like he understood. Smart elf. I think he's learning.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----  
  
The rest of the day was relatively boring. I explored some by myself, and had to be shown back to my flet thingy by Haldir (who I incidentally bumped into). After that, I played a little more solitaire, and basically relaxed.  
  
Then an elf maid person came and said she was to bring me to supper.  
  
"I am Miriel, Lady Narya. I am here to assist you with anything you need."  
  
And before I could say anything, she made me take a bath (I didn't even do anything to get dirty or smelly!), and tried to make me wear a dress. That's where I drew the line. I could stand a bath that was pretty much unnecessary, but a dress was a strict no no.  
  
"Uh-uh. No WAY am I wearing a dress." I stated firmly. "Thanks, but no thanks."  
  
"It is only proper for a lady to wear a dress. Especially before the Lord and Lady." Miriel replied and took a couple steps towards me with a long- sleeved dark purple dress.  
  
"Yeah, well, I ain't proper, so there. NO dress." I argued.  
  
"You WILL wear a dress." I could see she was starting to get aggravated at my behavior. Yay for me!  
  
"What part of no don't you understand? The N or the O?" I asked sarcastically.  
  
This little spat went on for about five minutes when my stubborness pulled through. Miriel gave up with a huge sigh, and contented herself with making me as prettyful as she could with a tunic and breeches.  
  
When we FINALLY got to supper, the only guys..... I mean ELVES that were missing were Galadriel and Celeborn. I guess they believed in that 'fashionably late' shit. Or maybe they were supposed to be late?  
  
Aw hell, I dunno. This King and Queen crap is over my head.  
  
The seating arrangments were the same as breakfast. Haldir scowled at my choice of clothing. He also believed in the ladies wear dresses, guys wear pants thing. I mentally patted myself on the back to introducing him to a little thing called womans rights.  
  
Haldir better get used to it, 'cause I wasn't going to change just because he didn't like it.  
  
"Quel undome Narya."  
  
I jumped slightly in my seat and saw Celeborn grin.  
  
"You people need to make some noise, or else i'll die of fright. Sneakin' up on people like that, you should be ashamed. And what exactly did you say?" His grin turned into a smile as I said this all in one breath.  
  
"I said good evening." he answered. Then turned his attention to the food that was being dished out.  
  
I tried to listen to some of the conversations going on, but they were all in elvish. I grimaced at this and silently hoped that my elvish lessons would go well in the days to come. Haldir would occaisonally talk to me in an effort to make me fit in, but it wasn't the same. I vaguely wondered where Rumil and Orophin were.  
  
After supper Celeborn motioned for me to follow him. Galadriel went in a different direction than we did, and said something to Celeborn in elvish. He smiled and said something back before we parted ways.  
  
He led me to the same library place that I had been in before. I took a seat at the table and looked around the room. I took the time to study everything and when I finished that, I started counting the books on the shelves.  
  
Celeborn had gone to a desk and was rifling through papers on it. He found the one he wanted and skimmed over the words. He nodded once to himself and set the paper back on the desk.  
  
I watched as he came over and sat across from me at the table. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments.  
  
"You and Haldir made up, I see." he said.  
  
"I guess you could say that." I replied. He allowed himself a slight grin.  
  
"That is good to see. But what I wanted to say was that everything is all arranged. Tomorrow morning your lessons will start." He then explained the schedule to me, and who my teachers would be. I wasn't too surprised to find out that he was also long-winded.  
  
Elves must have pretty damn big lungs since they did all this talking.  
  
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Faulkner: Love it? Hate it? Tell me in a review!!!! 


	9. Horsies And Training Part 1

Faulkner: Summer.... No homework, no school, no dickheads, no WORRIES!! ::sigh:: Bliss!  
  
Disclaimer: Only thing that is mine is Arlindur, Telepcoire, Miriel, Narya, some other people, Herumor, and the plotline in this story. Anything else is Tolkien's, I swear it!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Morning.  
  
Too early.  
  
Sleeeeeep........  
  
I suddenly found myself on the hard (and very cold!) wooden floor.  
  
"Whassamatter?" I grumbled. I lifted up my head and looked at Miriel sleepily. "Bugger off. Need sleep."  
  
I pulled the sheets that had fallen with me around my cold body and tried to go back to sleep on the floor. But Miriel just yanked the sheets off of me and put them out of my reach.  
  
"I'm sorry milady, but you need to get ready. Today your lessons start, and I have strict orders from the Marchwarden to make sure you are ready in time." Miriel explained.  
  
Marchwarden? I scratched my head in confusion bred from a sleep fogged brain.  
  
"Who?" I asked as I slowly stood.  
  
"Haldir." Miriel started to make my bed. "You better hurry and take your bath before the water gets cold." she warned.  
  
I nodded and searched for some clean clothes in the dresser drawers. I found a pair of black pants and a tan tunic to change into after my bath. I closed the bath door behind me and got myself all nice an squeeky clean.  
  
Note the heavy sarcasm in that sentence.  
  
After I was changed I tried to brush my pain-in-the-ass hair. I swear, it was as stubborn as Haldir!  
  
I soon gave up and contented myself with making sure it wasn't sticking out at any odd angles. As long as it was reasonably straight, I would be fine. Miriel had finished tidying up, and had a light breakfast set out for me on the small table.  
  
I ate it and started to fall asleep right there at the table.  
  
Thankfully, Miriel accidentally bumped into me, and woke me right up.  
  
"Follow me." Miriel said and briskly led me out the door of the talan and to the forest floor. I followed her all through the city, barely noting my surroundings. She led me to a clearing (I was pretty sure it was the one I met Celeborn in) and told me that my teacher would arrive shortly. Then she left to do who knows what.  
  
I looked around a little and sat down in the middle of the clearing.  
  
I was just drifting off again when .......  
  
"BOO!!"  
  
"AI!!" I screeched and jumped probably ten feet into the air. I whirled around, ready to flame some ass, and saw Orophin rolling around on the grass, laughing. "Not freakin' funny Orophin!" I yelled at him. "You damn Elves are gonna give me a heart attack one of these days!"  
  
"That..." he gasped for breath and tried to compose himself. "Is the first lesson... for today!"  
  
"And what is that lesson? How to scare people out of their wits?"  
  
"To always be alert and ready." he said, standing up. He wiped a couple of laugh tears from his eyes and grinned at me.  
  
And that was my first lesson for Track And Stealth 101. Not very fun, if you ask me. But after that initial scare, everything went fairly smoothly from there.  
  
Orophin continued to teach me the fine art of being sneaky and how to be, AHEM, 'alert'. It was actually kinda fun, learning how to be all 007 and spy like. Orophin was a sorta stuffy Elf, but a great teacher. Before I knew it, that lesson was over, and he led me where my next teacher would await me.  
  
Shit. These Elves are already rubbing off on me. Where the hell did that await come from?  
  
Anywho, Orophin left me at the stables to wait for my next teacher. I didn't have to wait long though, since he had been there before me!  
  
He strode up to me and bowed. "Quel re Lady Narya." (Good day Lady Narya)  
  
"Uh, hi." Intelligent, real intelligent. I mentally slapped myself on the forehead.  
  
"I am to be your riding teacher. My name is Telepcoire." Telepcoire started walking down the stalls as he talked. "As far as the Lord Celeborn told me, you haven't had any experience in riding, have you?" I shook my head. "Then we will start with the basics today. Whether we will ride today or not depends on your progress."  
  
Geez. This guy sure does like to get to the point.  
  
Telepcoire stopped at a rack full of different bridles, bits, saddles, the usual horse junk. He looked me up and down before starting to hand me a saddle, saddle blanket, and bridle. The saddle was kind of heavy, but I managed pretty well.  
  
The Elf took of down towards a specific stall and led out a -  
  
Damn.  
  
"This is Herumor. Though he is a bit tall for you, I think you'll manage. He is short for an Elvish horse though, only fourteen and a half hands high. But he is a fairly gentle stallion, though not without his own sense of humor. Come." and he led the horse outside to a fenced in area with only a softly spoken word in Elvish.  
  
I gotta learn that stupid language, even if it was the last thing I did.  
  
Herumor WAS pretty tall, his head going over mine easily. His coat was a gleaming black with one white sock on his front right hoof. I thought maybe it was just me being paranoid, but it seemed that one of his eyes was always watching me.  
  
Telepcoire told me to sling the stuff on the fence, and I did so. That crap was starting to get kinda heavy.  
  
"The first thing you will learn is how to properly saddle a horse." Telepcoire started.  
  
As he demonstrated how to do this, he explained it at the same time. First the saddle blanket went on, then the saddle itself. He did up the buckles and gave me a few tips. Then he undid everything and made me do it. If you ask me, I think the saddling was probably the easiest part of riding a horse.  
  
And I hadn't even ridden yet.  
  
We did this for a while until I could probably saddle any horse in my sleep with a hand tied behind my back. Then we practiced putting the bridle on. It was pretty simple too, and I only practiced a couple of times with that.  
  
One, I didn't want my hand bitten off because the horse was tired of my practicing. Two, because Telepcoire thought I got the hang of all this.  
  
"Good, good. You're a fast learner. We might actuallly get to some riding tomorrow. Our time is up today."  
  
"Wha? we haven't been out here that long!" I said.  
  
"But I still need to teach you how to properly return a horse to it's respective stall. Though it is probably useless for me to teach you this, since you are no groom." and he chuckled to himself. Weird.  
  
I gathered up the tack and stuff and walked back to the.... uh .... I wouldn't exactly call it a barn, but that seemed to be the only word that fit it well enough. I put all the stuff back on it's respective rack and listened as Telepcoire told me about what one would generally do to a horse after it was ridden. But since we hadn't done any actual riding, he just explained it to me.  
  
Though I would probably forget half of it the next day.  
  
After Herumor was back in his stall, I breathed a sigh of relief. He a VERY big animal and could squash me to death easily. He could probably bite my head off if he wanted to.  
  
Well.... Maybe i'm exaggerating a wee bit, but that was the way the horse made me feel. I was always nervous around horses, even though i'd only ever been near them a couple of other times before today. But that had been when I was still with my parents....  
  
It had been a warm spring day. The perfect day to visit the local fair. There had been horse rides there and my father had urged me to go on a little ride around the corral on one.  
  
As I had stood in line, I had nervously watched the horse. Watched as he occaisonally chewed on the bit and every so often snorted and stamped a foot. The tack had seemed to jangle almost ominously to me.  
  
But when it had been my turn, I had taken my courage in hand and gave the horse a gentle pat on his leg. That was about as far up as I could've reached on him at the time. The man in charge of the ride had lifted me into the saddle and got in behind me for safety purposes.  
  
He had clicked his tongue and given the horse a nudge with his heels and it had started off at a brisk walk. Though the horse had scared me slightly, it had been so much fun riding on it's back. The man had even indulged me a little bit by putting the horse into a fast trot.  
  
But my time was all too soon up and I was set back down on the ground. I had giggled and the horse had wickered at me. He had nudged my hand with his velvety nose and I had given it an affectionate pat. The man gave me a sugar lump and I fed it to the horse.  
  
I could still just vaguely remember the rough tongue as it took the offering and whickered again at me as I was led away to other rides.  
  
The next morning I had overheard my parents talking about how that very same horse had put a man in the hospital. It had been a very real reminder of how deadly it was. I had shivered to think that the horse could have done the very same thing to me.  
  
"Narya?"  
  
"Eh what?" I said. I blinked and saw Telepcoire and Haldir staring at me. "What did I miss?"  
  
"I have been calling your name for the past couple of minutes. Take your head out of the clouds and follow me." Haldir turned and stalked off.  
  
"Well good afternoon to you too." I mumbled. Telepcoire heard me and winked at me. I grinned back at him and trotted to catch up to the most arrogant Elf that had ever lived.  
  
"I will be working with you on your weapons skills." I seriously needed to hit a growth spurt so I could get some longer legs and have a chance with keeping up with Haldir. "I will have to figure out what weapon suits you so I can teach it to you." He sighed, and I thought that this would probably be the hardest class.  
  
Next to riding of course.  
  
We entered a clearing that was obviously meant for weapons training. Off to the side of it was a hut that Haldir immediately made a beeline for. I saw few Elf kids with an adult learning about swordfighting. They seemed eager to learn about it and listened intently.  
  
Haldir went inside and motioned for me to follow. As soon as I got a glimpse of the weapons hanging on racks all 'round me, I immediately started to study them. Most of them were wooden so as only to bruise the opponent, but still beautiful. Everything the Elves made seemed to be beautiful! Lucky ducks.  
  
"Ah, welcome Marchwarden! I see you have a new pupil! What be your need?" a deep and rich voice said happily. I turned and saw an Elf that was broader even than Haldir. Considering that most Elves were slim, it was an amazing sight.  
  
"Yes. Narya is just starting today and has to my knowledge no understanding of the art of fighting. I was wondering if you might have an idea of her preference, since you seem so good at it." Haldir answered. As he said this, the two shook hands heartily and the much broader Elf beamed at him.  
  
"Well, let's get a good look at you lass! Come on over here, don't be shy. I promise I don't bite!" I stepped slowly closer to the two Elves. "My name is Arlindur, Weapons Master!" and he gave me a shallow bow.  
  
I couldn't help but grin at his infectious happiness. He seemed like a nice ol' Elf.  
  
"Hmmm.... Lemme see..." Arlindur murmured to himself as he circled me slowly. His eyes studied me up and down, then back up and down again. But it wasn't the kind of look you got when some creepy guy was undressing you with his eyes and got a wicked sneer. It was just a critical look that studied my frame and build.  
  
Suddenly he grabbed my hand and turned it over in his larger ones. His calloused finger-tips ran over my palm and briefly ran over the scars over each knuckle. My hands were soft since they had been in those stupid fire- proof gloves for such a long time. I hoped that would change soon.  
  
"Hmm... Interesting..." he mumbled to himself.  
  
"What's interesting?" I asked. Was there something wrong with my hand?  
  
"Oh nothing." He took my other hand and studied it with equal curiosity. "Then again...." He ran his fingers over the scars that covered all of the knuckles on this hand as well. "Where did you get such curious scars, hmmm? I don't believe I have seen the like before."  
  
"Oh." Memories started flooding in, but I refused to let them take over. "Just accidents. I always seem to be bumping my knuckles into something. Tables, corners, sharp objects, all sorts of things." There. Not a complete lie, but not the complete truth either.  
  
"Humph." he grunted and dropped my other hand. He strolled over to the racks and grabbed a wooden knife. "I think you might take a liking to the knives. You seem to have the correct mind for it."  
  
He put the knife in my hand and I held it for a minute.  
  
I did sort of have an obsession with knives. We were given plastic knives at the Institution, the orderlies afraid we would harm ourselves or each other. I constantly entertained myself with them, since their was nothing better to do.  
  
I would toss them up and catch them as best I could with the bulky gloves. The damn things had always made life harder for me.  
  
I hefted it in my hands and adjusted my grip slightly.  
  
"Ah! She's a natural!" Arlindur cried happily. He patted....well, thumped more like, me on the back heartily and Haldir had to steady me before I fell to the ground. "I'll get you two set up quick as a flash!"  
  
He went over to the racks and grabbed the mate of the knife that I held and two sheaths. He expertly buckled them to my belt and set the pair into their respective places.  
  
"I'll look forward to seeing you fight with a real pair one day. Mark my words lassie, you'll be a real blade-master one day. Don't you think so Master Haldir?" Arlindur turned to Haldir and grinned at him.  
  
Pain-in-the-ass looked at me down his nose and sniffed slightly.  
  
"She might one day. IF she pays attention in her lessons and does well." I swear, I wanted to knock his teeth out sometimes, now being one of them.  
  
The Weapons Master laughed and shook his head at Haldir. "Careful there Marchwarden. You might find yourself on the wrong end of her blade and on your back!"  
  
"I doubt it." and he strode out of the hut.  
  
Just before I went to follow him I muttered conspiratorily to Arlindur, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I grinned and heard his laughter even when I was in the middle of the clearing with Haldir.  
  
"First, the basics." And without any further ado, he started drilling me on the basic defensive and offensive postitions.  
  
That damn Elf was working the danged life out of me. The time passed slowly and quickly at the same time. By the time it was over, I was sweating and worn out. I wanted to throw myself on the grass and just nap until supper time.  
  
But, as usual, he had other plans.  
  
"Once you return your practice weapons to Arlindur you can return to your talan and freshen up. Your lunch will be served to you there." Haldir nodded to me and took off.  
  
I grimaced and stuck my tongue out at his retreating back. One of these days, I was gonna teach that stupid Elf a lesson. What lesson, I wasn't sure. But it was gonna be a damn good one.  
  
I walked as carefully as I could back to the hut and returned the knives to Arlindur with a small and started back to my talan. Oi, my upper arms hurt.  
  
"Ohhh, sweet sugar. I'm so gonna be sore in the morning." I muttered to myself. "As soon as I get good at this knife junk i'm gonna knock him on his ass and sit on him. Then i'm gonna laugh." I grinned to myself as I imagined sitting on Haldir.  
  
I made it back without getting into any trouble or getting lost. I seemed to have this little mechanism in my head that kept me from getting lost. I sure as hell didn't really remember the way. Weird.  
  
Miriel was there and had prepared a bath for me, anticipating my dirtyness and need for one. I never thought hot water could be such a blessing. When I was done and changed there was a lunch set out on the small table for me and Miriel was nowhere to be found.  
  
I wolfed everything down as usual and leaned my chair back on its two back legs. I was pooped and only halfway through the day. Good grief. If this was the way I felt after only half a day I shudder to think what i'll be like at the end of the week.  
  
Wait a sec....  
  
Do Elves even HAVE weekends? Oh dear Lord....  
  
At that moment Miriel entered hustled me along. When I asked her where we were going she said the library. Maybe they had some books I could read there....  
  
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Faulkner: Sorry I had to stop here! But I wanted to get this chapter out so you peeps wouldn't try to kill me or nuttin' like that. Anyone else out there see the Matrix Reloaded? KICK ASS MOVIE!!! If you haven't then go see it now! After you review, of course!  
  
P.S. Is it just me, or is Agent Smith really cool and the Twins are really freaky? 


	10. Sorry, Just AN

I am so so so so SO SO VEEEEEEERY SORRY!!!  
  
I have been having some very persistent Writers Block that just won't go away!! Not to mention i've been having erratic softball and batting practices and the nearly constant rain has kept knocking out the bloody power!!! If I didn't know any better, i'd say the gods were against me!!!  
  
Again, a thousand pardons for this wait, and i'll get the next chapter up ASAP! I swear!  
  
Peace, Love, And Donuts!  
  
~*Faulkner*~ 


	11. Elven Libraries And Training Part 2

Faulkner: Ah-HAH! Here it is, kiddies. The next installment of Free 2 Be Me! Enjoy! Oh, and before I forget, thanks a whole lot to my reviewers! If it wasn't for them, I would have crapped out a long, long, long time ago! Keep 'em comin' my lovely reviewers!!!  
  
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Elvish libraries are absolutely amazing. To say the least, anyways. Rows of shelves of books, all of them carefully taken care of. Even the walls were covered in shelves where the occaisonal window wasn't placed. If only I could have read some of them. Most of them were probably history crap, but I bet there were some good stories in there somewhere!  
  
But then there was the problem about being able to actually READ the writing. Geez Louise, these were going to be some long -  
  
How long WAS I staying here? Did I have to leave? Did I even WANT to leave?  
  
Hellllll NO!  
  
I wanted to stay here. At least these people didn't treat me like dirt! They gave me a measure of respect and were actually NICE to me.  
  
Oh yeah, I was staying no matter what these people told me. Even if I had to fight for it, I would stay here. No matter what, I would stay.  
  
Heaven have mercy for those who tried to send me back.  
  
I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone lightly touched my shoulder.  
  
"Wasn't Orophin supposed to teach you how to be alert?"  
  
"Rumil, you little cuss! Howz it goin'?" I asked. I decided to ignore his remark, giving him the benefit of the doubt.  
  
"Everything is going fine. But you can imagine my surprise when I was pulled from the borders to teach you our history."  
  
"You? History teacher? What has Lord Celeborn been smokin'?" Rumil wasn't dumb, don't get me wrong. But he wasn't exactly history teacher material either.  
  
"I don't know how to answer that question." Rumil said.  
  
"Eh. It was a rhetorical question anyways. So, what're we doin' today?" I asked. History had always been my strongest subject, next to Reading. I was a pretty avid reader if I got my hands on a book that I liked. Just thinkin' about it made my palm itch in anticipation.  
  
"We will start with the gods and the beginnings of Middle-earth." He led me to a table, presumably for studying and such, and laid down a thick book.  
  
Now when I say thick, I don't mean a few hundred pages or like a dictionary thick. I'm talkin' about a two-stacked-hamburgers-with-everything-on-it thick. There was probably easily a thousand pages. And i'm tellin' you one thing, that I AIN'T readin' that monster. I even told Rumil that. He just laughed.  
  
"You couldn't read it even if I told you too." He opened the book and flipped through the pages. "It's all written in tengwar!"  
  
"Tengwar's Elvish writing right?" He nodded and I studied the writing. It was the same funky curling stuff with the occaisonal dots in places. It was all Greek to me. "Geez. It's gonna be just like learnin' to read all over again." I mumbled to myself  
  
"Don't worry. You'll learn to read it soon enough. But that is for another lesson with a different teacher. Now, pay close attention and try to remember all of this. Eru is the One God. He created everything there is, was, and ever will be..."  
  
So started history. Oi, the story of the god's sure was long and slightly confusing. At least there weren't like all these demi-gods and children of gods like in Greek and Roman mythology. That would have been a hell of a lot more confusing.  
  
As much as I thought I was going to be bored out of my mind, I actually got quite interested. It was more like a story than history, if you ask me. A very interesting story that grabbed my shirt collar and yanked me into it. I had become oblivious to everything else in the library and the only thing that I was conscious of was Rumil's voice telling the story.  
  
All too soon he stopped and I blinked a couple of times.  
  
"That's it?" I asked, though it did sound all too much like a whine.  
  
Rumil smirked and said, "For now. I will start off where I stopped tomorrow. Your next teacher is here to impart the knowledge of our language on you."  
  
I snorted and waved my hand. "That was so incredibly cheesy and crappy. I like it better when your talkin' about the gods. At least THAT doesn't sound cheesy and actually sounds like it is real." Rumil looked a bit confused.  
  
"It sounds real becaue it IS real. The Valar, Eru, the Maiar, they are all real."  
  
"I can believe in the Maiar 'cause they sound like wizards. If Elves exist, why not wizards? But gods? You're yankin' my chain on that one."  
  
"I do not 'yank your chain' as you put it. The Valar are real. Lady Galadriel herself and others have seen them with their own eyes." Rumil said very seriously.  
  
"You're so shittin' me." I said flatly.  
  
"I shit you not."  
  
When I thought about what I had said and what he just, I couldn't help but laugh. 'I shit you not' sounded so funny coming from an Elf. The whole absurdity of it just made it even funnier. Rumil furrowed his eyebrows and watched me curiously. I tried to stop and explain, but I just couldn't. Eventually, he shrugged his shoulders and left.  
  
Another Elf (a very strict lookin' one, with a very thin nose and tight lips) replaced Rumil who had taken that humongous book with him. Contrary to other Elves that i'd seen, this one looked like a sour grape, if you get my meanin'. I'd seen better looking dead things. Nicer ones too.  
  
"I'm Sirith. I take it you are Narya?" he asked nicely, but his tone was anything but nice. There was just something about him that rubbed me the wrong way  
  
"Yep, i'm Narya." I answered.  
  
"Very well. I'm going to tell you now that it won't be easy learning our language. Many find it difficult to learn and give up within a few days." Blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. He made a little speech and I got the feeling he didn't quite like what he had been ordered to do. Oh well, it's not like I asked him to teach me.  
  
When the lesson finally started, he began with nouns, verbs, adjectives, all those kinds of things. He would say a word, tell me what it was and what it meant, and i'd have to repeat it to him. The trick was, that every time he told me a new word, I also had to tell him the ones he had told me previously. Let me just say it wasn't exactly a walk in the park, not to mention he kept talking to me like I was some random idiot that he found on the streets.  
  
Ah, but I would have my revenge. Be it one way or another, sooner or later. He would feel my wrath just like Haldir would when I got my chance. No Elf in Lorien would be safe!  
  
Lookout, Elves, becuase the temper of Narya would be a force to be reckoned with!  
  
Yeah, anyways, I guess it wasn't so bad, except for the company. But that couldn't be helped I guess.  
  
So things progressed until our alloted time was up. Sirith said good-bye and left, thank God, but not before asking if I knew my way back. Even if I hadn't known the way back I would have told him I did. I tell ya, I did not like him one bit. It wasn't exactly something you saw, but more like something you could feel.  
  
I waited a bit for no particular reason, just relaxing. Then I got up and went to look for the librarian, or the Elvish equivalent of one. Luckily, I found such a person and asked them for some paper. Not so luckily, she didn't understand one word of what I said. Another drawback was that I had not learned the word for paper from Sirith.  
  
Damn.  
  
But after some pantomimes and a few curious looks, I got my point across. She disappeared htrough a side door and reappeared with some rolled up very thick and slightly yellowish looking paper. Ah well, it would suit my purposes.  
  
I went back to my place (curious how I was calling it my place after not even a week) and settled myself at the small table. I unrolled the stuff and found a few heavy objects to keep it from curling back in on itself. I pulled out my stash of things that I had brought from the Institute and pulled out my loyal pen. I, being the genius that I am (snicker), wrote down all the words that I had just learned, their meanings, and their translations. I probably spelled all the words wrong, but hey, it was a new language, so sue me!  
  
I stopped writing and remembered that it would be impossible for someone to sue me. There were no lawyers in Middle-earth! Of that, I was definitely positive.  
  
I laughed out loud out of sheer joy. I think I had just fully realized that I wouldn't ever be returning to the Institution. How I loved the thought, and the fact that it was true! I laughed so hard that I fell back in my chair and hit the hard wooden floor.  
  
Not even my klutziness could stop my utter happiness!  
  
"If you don't get up, you'll miss dinner." I looked up and saw Miriel in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. I knew I was grinning pretty goofily, but you would have too, if you were in my position!  
  
On the way, Miriel politely questioned me about how my lessons went, and I told her all the details that she asked for. I swear, it was like I was a kid again! I couldn't remember one day where I was this happy since pretty much all of my childhood was spent in the Institute.  
  
No, I can't think of that place anymore! That place was in the past and I would never think of it again. As far as I was concerned, my life started when I arrived here. And yet, I couldn't help but wonder how things were going back there.  
  
Had Dr.Stanton worked himself into a tizzy yet? Was Taylin getting along all right? And what about those godawful orderlies? I hoped they rotted in hell.  
  
I took what has now become my regular seat, and waited for dinner to begin. Haldir arrived soon after me and took his usual seat as well.  
  
"I see you are in a good mood." he pointed out.  
  
I turned and grinned at him. "You have no idea." I answered. He only looked at me questioningly before returning to his blank stare across the hall. And people say MY head's up in the clouds. He's the one whose acting like he's dead!  
  
"How was your day?"  
  
I turned to my other side and saw that Celeborn and Galadriel had arrived.  
  
"Wonderful." I said with a smile. I think I was in one of those good moods that didn't let anything bad ruin the day. The only bad side of that was that I was ridiculously happy and grinning like the idiot that I was. Just don't tell anyone else that.  
  
"All your lessons went well?" he asked inbetween bites of food.  
  
"Yup." I was ravenous and shoveling food into my mouth at what could be called an indecent pace.  
  
"Take some time to actually taste your food." Haldir commented dryly.  
  
"Bugger off. Not even you can ruin my day."  
  
"Are you saying i'm mean?"  
  
"Nope. But you aren't exactly Mr Ray and Sunshine either." I was still eating i'm afraid.  
  
"Mr what?" Haldir asked. I was gonna have to stop using some common analogies here. They obviously didn't get them.  
  
"Nevermind. Anyways, you aren't what one would call a very happy person."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So? So, you should at least show some emotion other than bloody arrogance. It's even creepier than you peoples ability to sneak up on someone."  
  
And what was Celeborn doing during all of this? He was paying rapt attention and even grinning slightly himself. I think the old Elf-lord liked a little conflict.  
  
"I am not arrogant. Only confident." He sounded a bit miffed.  
  
"Bull. There's a line between confidence and arrogance and you, my friend, have crossed it." I informed him.  
  
"What does a bull have to do with this?" he asked. Oi vey. How would I explain that? Easy, I would ignore that comment.  
  
"Absolutely nothing in the way that you are thinking of it. Anyways, your getting of subject. I think you are channeling a certain river in Egypt. Poor deluded Elf." I shook my head and 'tsked tsked'.  
  
"Egypt? I have never heard of it."  
  
"Of course you haven't. I'm talking about de Nile."  
  
"De Nile?" I think I had him thorooughly confused."  
  
"Yep. You are in denial my friend."  
  
"I am not in denial!" he said viciously.  
  
"That is what they all say. Trust me, I know about these things. You are in one hundred percent denial. I would recommend some m-" Big word, can't pronounce it. "M-....m-..... Oh crap, I can't say it. I'll tell ya when I figure out how to say it."  
  
"Where is Egypt?" Oh goody, Celeborn was jumping into the conversation.  
  
"It's in Africa. Very hot place, Egypt. I always wanted to visit the pyramids. There was an archaeologist in the Institute once who had gone to Egypt. He swore up and down that he had been cursed by King Tut. But it was interesting to hear about the pyramids."  
  
"What are the pyramids and what is an archaeologist?" Ah, here comes my mistake. I have severely underestimated the curiosity of Elves. Especially the curiosity of an Elf-lord who had rarely ever left his wood ever since he entered it.  
  
"The pyramids are giant tombs made for the pharoahs of Egypt. The pharoahs were like kings and the Egyptians wanted their kings to be comfortable in the afterlife. They believed you lived on after you died and made these giant tombs filled with all kinds of food and gold and furniture. Once the pharoah died, he was mummified and placed inside the pyramid and the pyramid was sealed. All kinds of boobie-traps and curses were put on the pyramid to prevent grave-robbers from getting all the stuff inside." I explained.  
  
"What about an archaeologist?"  
  
"An archaeologist..." Another long supper I suppose. But I loved it none- the-less.  
  
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Faulkner: Sucky ass chapter, I know. I got the whole denial thing from one of Dreamstrifer's stories. Please don't kill me Dreamstrifer! I am not worthy! ::grovels for her miserable life:: I couldn't resist! The idea was so tempting! Pinky made me do it! ::points to her assistant:: It's all the ghosts fault!  
  
Pinky: I had no part in it! 


	12. Short Days, Long Nights or

Faulkner: Chapter eleven peoples. I think you might find a good plot twist in this one. And just so's ya know I had it planned all along!  
  
Short Days, Long Nights or The Young And The Restless  
  
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You'd think after all that activity i'd be able to sleep peacefully for a change. You'd also think that I would be able to stay still in bed and wait for sleep to come. You also think a lot of other things but what do I look like to you? Sigmond Freud?  
  
As it was, I couldn't even close my eyes for five minutes without getting severely antsy. I would've killed for some sleeping pills right about now. I hated insomnia with a passion, among other things, and tonight wasn't any different.  
  
So, I was currently siting wide-awake on my bed in the clothes that I came here (I now used 'em as pj's. Kinda funny, huh?), staring out my window. I wanted to do something, anything, instead of just sitting. I felt like I could run the marathon in the Olympics. Seriously, I felt that alive and awake.  
  
Problem was, there was nothing for me to do. It's not like I could go outside and take a little stroll around the wood! Who knew how much trouble I would get in, if any at all? Bleh, I hate being bored too. I started to think too much when I was bored. I think the word for it was maudlin.  
  
Eh, I didn't know and didn't care.  
  
The point was, I was bored and had a bad case of insomnia. Those two are never a good thing to mix together. Like vinegar and baking soda. A very real volcano effect would happen later, if not sooner.  
  
I got up and walked over to the window. It was a good sized window. About five feet wide and four feet tall, with a wide window sill. The perfect place to just sit and wait for some kind of sleepiness to hit me. I had a great view!  
  
So I sat, and waited for myself to get tired. Sounds funny huh? Usually on occaisons like this i'd raise hell at the Institute. The orderlies would get to my room, restrain me, and then give me some of stuff that made me sleep. Of course, it was all just a way to get the stuff, so I could sleep. If I asked for it, they would just ignore me. The only way you ever got any kind of attention there was when you were being a 'nuisance'.  
  
But here, all you had to do was just nudge 'em or somehting and they would turn and give you their undivided attention. This place was just so different, so unique, and so totally awesome. I just can't believe my luck.  
  
And then, there's that little nagging voice in my head that keeps saying i'm having an elaborate dream and i'll wake-up back in my small shared room with Nattie. If that was true (I was hoping to God that it wasn't) then I never wanted to wake-up. Just sleep my life away in this cool dreamworld.  
  
Oh, crud. I didn't feel any sleepier than I had five minutes ago. Is sleepier even a word? Where's a damn dictionary when you need one! Did Elves have dictionaries? Curious.....  
  
I started whistling. It was just one of those things I did when I couldn't do anything else. I was a terrible whistler, but at least I could carry a tune, unlike most people I knew. Even if I did only repeat the chorus over and over. I always seemed to forget the rest of the good songs.  
  
I was rambling, I just knew it. But what else was I gonna do? I was bored to tears!  
  
Well.... Maybe not tears. At least not yet. I hope.  
  
I believe I was at the very edge of sanity. It is even possible for a person to go insane from boredom? Ah, one of the many questions of the universe! Just like why the sky and the ocean were blue. I once heard that the ocean was blue because it reflected the sky, but then why was the sky blue? The person said it was because it reflected the ocean. Confusing, eh? I didn't get it at all. They called it by some big word that I didn't quite catch.  
  
I think maybe I would ramble on all night and then probably fall asleep during my lessons. What a wonderful impression that would make! How does one explain insomnia to people who don't quite sleep, but just rest their minds? That would make for an interesting conversation. I bet even if I got Haldir to understand that concept, he would still be an ass and tell give me some crappy lines about....... About something.  
  
Speak of the devil.  
  
Haldir was just takin' a nice little stroll with some other blond Elf. By the looks of him though, he wasn't a Lorien Elf. He wore shades of green and brown, while Lorien's finest wore shades of grey and black.  
  
Oh dear. Curiosity has been piqued and they seemed to be deep in conversation and unaware of anything else. This would be fun.  
  
I grabbed my shoes and hurriedly put them on. After a quick glance out the window to check on where they were I was down the ladder quick as a flash and after them. Hmmm, maybe Orophin's lessons would come in handy.  
  
Okay, I thought they would undoubtably catch me after a minute or so of trailing after them. I knew that Haldir was extremely attentive to his surroundings. He could probably tell when an ant stopped to scratch or when a leaf turned in the direction of the sun. I mean, this guy probably had photographic memory to boot!  
  
I was surprised that neither of them noticed me and yelled their heads off and sent me back. And then I started noticing things. Amazing huh? I actually noticed something! Hold your applause please, as I tell ya what I noticed.  
  
They were walking farther and farther away from the city and only stopped when they reached a rather very private clearing. Another thing was the way they walked so close together and that they held hands. Hands, I tell ya! Something fishy was goin' on around Lothlorien, no doubt about that.  
  
Haldir and the other dude faced each other and whispered stuff in Elvish to each other. I couldn't have told you what they said, even if I knew the language they were being so quiet. Then they went silent for a second and the other Elf touched Haldir's cheek and smiled. Haldir smiled back and sighed a name which I swear sounded a helluva lot like 'Legolas'.  
  
But then, wasn't that the studly Elf in the books and movie? The fanatics back at the Institute had jabbered on and on about him so much I had nightmares about the dude coming after me with his bow and arrow, and he had looked like some sort of evil cartoon character. It had been seriously freaky.  
  
Yet more surprises when Haldir caressed -caressed!- Legolas's cheek and touched foreheads with him. Being the peeping Jane (not Tom, I wasn't a boy people!) that I was I didn't feel any guilt at witnessing this incredibly tender moment between two men.  
  
Elves.  
  
Whatever.  
  
And then just like that they were kissing. May I say that although I didn't exactly like the sight, it wasn't disgusting either. I was neither a voyeur or a homophobic.  
  
Things started to get a little too steamy in the glade so I high-tailed it outta there and back to my little part of the wood. You could say I was in utter shock at what I had just witnessed. I thought Haldir was the epitome of manliness.  
  
Elfiness.  
  
Again, whatever.  
  
Soooooo.  
  
Crickets chirp.  
  
Leaves rustle.  
  
Silence.........  
  
For the second time I broke into hysterical laughter.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------  
  
Needless to say, I finally did go to sleep. But I was even grouchier this morning than I was the last morning. Miriel didn't talk to me about it, thank you God, and I trudged to where Orophin said I was to meet him for every lesson unless he said otherwise.  
  
Either I was late or he was early because Orophin was waiting for me when I arrived. We started the lesson right away and I went into spy mode and learned more of the art of sneaking and peaking and being a general nuisance.  
  
As we walked towards the stable and I pulled leaves out of my hair (trust me, you DO NOT want to know) I decided on a little prodding.  
  
"Hey Orophin. Who's Legolas?" I asked trying to untangle a praticulary stuck twig.  
  
He shot me a glance and his steps momentarily faltered. "Why do you ask?"  
  
I shrugged, still concentrating on the twig and getting absolutely nowhere with it. "Curiosity." In all of the Institutes Legolas admirers I never really payed too much attention to them when they started on the Legolas vein of speech. So, I knew absolutely nothing about the dude.  
  
"He's the youngest of Thranduil's ilk." he answered slowly, almost reluctantly I'd guess. "One of the princes of the Greenwood. Or Mirkwood as the Men call it." I think he was watching me, though out the corner of his eye. "What has sparked this curiosity?"  
  
I got the feeling I was on thin ice here. Not a very good feeling, let me tell you. I've had way too much experience in that department.  
  
"I thought I heard Haldir talkin' 'bout him." A truthful enough answer, I think.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
I wasn't familiar with this tactic of rooting out lies, so I couldn't properly defend against it. To put it frankly, I spilled the beans.  
  
"Okay, so I saw the two walking around last night." One of his eyebrows was now considerably closer to his hairline than the other now.  
  
"And what were you doing up so late?" How did I become the interrogated? I thought I was the one asking the questions here!  
  
"Insomnia." I answered. One trick I learned for not giving people the answers they wanted while answering them was giving them very simple words or sentences. I called it the 'Strong Silent Type Tactic'.  
  
Even though he didn't understand insomnia, he ploughed on ahead in his 20 questions. "You know it is wrong to spy on people, especially when they seek solitude." This from the guy who's teaching me how to spy and sneak? Please! "What did you hear?" His voice was even sterner than Haldir's by now.  
  
"Not much. Couldn't understand a word that was spoken except for their names occaisonally." He stopped and pulled me off the path.  
  
"What did you see?" he whispered urgently.  
  
"Ummmm...." I debated on my choice of words and possibly just running all the way to the stable.  
  
"The truth."  
  
Hell's bells and cockle shells. I wasn't gettin' outta this one. "A couple of touches and some serious making out. Nuttin' else." The images of the two kissing came to the front of my memory and I shivered. I may not have been homophobic, but it was really strange to see two straight guys that were actually gay kiss. I had the weirdest dreams because of it too.  
  
Nothing explicit either folks so get your brains out of the gutters and back to the story!  
  
Orophin looked around and leaned closer to me. "Please, don't mention what you have seen to anyone else." I looked at him curiously. "Some Elves do not agree with the relationship my brother and the prince are in." he elaborated.  
  
"But you support him, don't you?" I asked.  
  
Orophin looked kinda surprised. "Of course I do!" He glanced around again and lowered his voice to a whisper again. "He's my brother, I would support his decision even if it were to marry a bird, Eru forbid! Even if I don't like or agree with it, he's still my brother, and I still love him."  
  
Ah. Relief. Thank you God that blood's thicker than water here.  
  
"That's good to hear. I won't tell a soul. Scouts honor!" I said, part serious and part joking. Maybe I would just make it out of this alive.  
  
"Good." He looked around again (was it just me or was he edgy?) and then went back to the path. I followed him and started on getting that twig out again. "You can make it to the stable by yourself?" he asked.  
  
"I'm no baby, contrary to popular belief." I snorted. I do believe he grinned at that, but he disappeared back into the forest before I could make sure.  
  
So, I was off on my own to the stable which was in sight and not far off, and still the damn twig would not come out! I was starting to think I would have to cut my hair or something to get it out. Which would have been just perfect, not that my hair wasn't ugly and short enough already.  
  
"Rrrrrghhh!" I let out a frustrated growl.  
  
Great. Just great.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: So how was that for a surprise, eh? I figured that i'd sneak in a little slashiness in this story. Heh, thanks to all who have reviewed so far! You people know who you are! Thanks y'all! 


	13. Bruised

Faulkner: I just KNEW there'd be some people who didn't like the slash. I respect your opinion, but there WILL be some stuff like that in my story. Before you run away labeling me an ass and a pervert, let me tell that nothing graphic will be in the story (can't write it, won't write it) and only minor stuff and some innuendo will be present. If I ever put anything graphic, I give you permission to kill and gut me, then feed me to the lions. AND I GOT OVER 100 REVIEWS!!!! YAY!!! ::throws up confetti and dances around the computer room:: If I had enough money and all your addresses, I would sen my reviewers a gift of their choosing. Alas, I don't have either, so you will unfortunately have to be content with my sincere and very happy thanks.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Telepcoire thought it was rather funny that a twig was stuck in my hair. Even when I glared daggers at him, he didn't stop laughing as he pullled out his belt knife and calmly cut the twig out. I then used his blade as a makeshift mirror to make out the damage. It actually wasn't too bad, a little funny looking, but I could get used to it. Hair DOES grow back after all.  
  
And so the lesson began with my riding teacher trying to figure out how the twig got there in the first place. I told him to shove it as I put on the bridle and led Herumor out of his stall. I don't think he got the insult, or the message behind it.  
  
That was the problem about Elves. It was no fun insulting them when they didn't get the insult. It was absolutely pointless unless you called them some sort of animal. Calling Haldir a mule (or a jackass) would get pretty boring after a while. But I never did tire of calling him Stick-up-the-ass. It was just so true, and I was kinda fond of it.  
  
"Do you think you're ready to try riding?" Telepcoire asked. We were in the middle of the corral with Herumor nibbling at the grass.  
  
"Uh....." I looked up at the saddle, which suddenly seemed to be as high as the Empire State Building. Even though it was only a measly couple of feet over my head. After all, what were the stirrups for anyways? Decoration?  
  
"Maybe...." I answered tentatively. I never really was comfortable around big animals. Big meaning around the size of a horse. I would be perfectly fine around a very lethal tiger that wanted to rip my head off, but I was nervous around a placid horse eating grass. Somebody knock some sense into my head.  
  
"We'll try it, and see." Telepcoire said as he came and stood next to me. "Just put your right foot in the stirrup, grab the pommel, and sort of half jump half pull yourself up into the saddle. Oh, and don't forget to swing your leg over."  
  
I looked up at the saddle and took a deep breath. I'm such a wimp....  
  
I stuck my foot in the stirrup and hauled myself into the saddle before I could give it a second thought. I mentally patted myself on the back and breathed a sigh of relief. I hadn't fallen and made a fool of myself! But something looked wrong somehow....  
  
Oops.  
  
I had gotten on backwards.  
  
Damn.  
  
So much for that making a fool of myself.  
  
I looked down at Telepcoire and watched his very amused expression turn into a big grin. "Wrong way. You used your left foot instead of your right. There was a reason for that, you know." He heaved a very fake long- suffering sigh and motioned for me to come down. I managed to do that very well without breaking anything.  
  
"Do you think you can do that again, but with the right foot?" he asked. I nodded, and tried again.  
  
I managed to get myself into the saddle, this time the right way. Alas, my luck wasn't with me this day, as I accidently kicked Herumor's sides and he immediately started off. Surprised as I was I (predictably) fell off.  
  
As I laid there in the dirt spread-eagled, I noticed just how lovely the treetops were. Such a beautiful shade of green....  
  
Telepcoire's head came into view over mine and he looked at me worriedly. Before he could say anything, I told him, "Just in case you were wondering, i'm not dead and I think everything is still in it's right place." He smiled, relieved, and held out a hand for me to take. "I think i'll just lay here for a minute. The grass is quite comfortable ya know."  
  
He raised one of his dark eyebrows questioningly and stood back. I could already feel the very slight tingly feeling that signalled my powers were working just fine on my bruised back. In a few minutes, there wouldn't be any sign of any bruises.  
  
I slowly hauled myself into a sitting position, careful of my sore back (my powers may have healed it, but that doesn't mean it takes away pain and soreness). I was starting to think that today wasn't a good day for me. First the incident with Orophin and the tree's and some other foliage, then the damn horse. Well, the horse thing was my fault, but still!  
  
"Want to try again?"  
  
I looked to my left, staring at my riding teacher. I was starting to believe that Elves were nuttier than me, powers not withstanding. I count myself lucky that I didn't break my back. That would hurt like a bitch, and take a while to heal. If it healed at all. I'm not too eager to test that.  
  
"No thank you. I've come as close to death as I could possibly feel remotely comfortable with. I think i'll just rest my tortured body." Geez, i'm lucky i'm not black and blue all over with the stuff that has happened to me already.  
  
Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to get outta bed. Especially when it's around 5:30 in the morning. Roughly.  
  
Telepcoire cocked his head to the side slightly and nodded. "You've had a good day. We'll be able to work on your technique more tomorrow. Maybe in a couple of days we could start on doing jumps."  
  
I had been brushing grass off the back of my tunic, which was kinda difficult considering my arms just didn't bend that far, and when he said that I nearly choked on my own breath. "Jumps?" I practically squeaked. "On that beast? Are you NUTS OR SOMETHNG?!"  
  
He started brushing off the grass I missed. "There is no need to yell. I can here you just fine, along with the rest of the Wood."  
  
I just shook my head and started walking back towards the devil-beast that I fell off of. I still had to remove his saddle and tack, along with doing a little brushing of the coat and putting him back in his stall. Just for the record, I was starting to not like this one bit. Horses were just too much work for my taste and a pain (literally) to ride.  
  
Expectedly, Haldir was waiting for me when I finished with the horse chores. I so badly wanted to crack jokes about last night, but decided I liked my head where it was just fine. It wouldn't be of any good rolling around like a soccer ball in the grass. Did they even have soccer? More interesting questions......  
  
Predictably, he also criticized my knife-work. He really, really, and i'm talkin' REALLY needs to get a hobby. Maybe he did have a hobby and it was-  
  
Don't finish that thought. Definitely don't want to finish that thought. Too nasty.  
  
"Narya! What are you doing? Are you even LISTENING?" Damn. Will he PLEASE get laid or something?! Maybe that's why he's so high-strung, he's not gettin' any! Or maybe it's because Le-  
  
Shut-up. My mind is too fast for its own good. Keeps getting me into trouble, stupid brain. Wait, that doesn't make any sense.  
  
I hate insomnia. If it weren't for insomnia, I wouldn't have found out about his relationship with Legolas and my mind wouldn't be thinking dirty thoughts and, and....... Crap.  
  
Haldir sighed. "Run through it again. By the Gods, I WILL make a respectable knife-man-"  
  
"-woman."  
  
"-out of you." Glare. Well, he should deal with it. Prissy, high-strung, not gettin' any, stick-up-the-ass, ELF! Breathe deep, count to ten, and mentally kick him in the balls and watch as he keels over in pain. There, much better.  
  
So, I ran through the particular sequence I had screwed up another time. And, I screwed up again even though I was paying attention. Definitely not having a good day. A very very bad day. Yep. Bad day. Urrgghh....  
  
When I tried it a fifth time, I still did it wrong. Personally, I think he's just too demanding. I'm still a teenager over here, not a flippin' soldier! Hello!  
  
Haldir sighed and just shook his head at me. I think he was disappointed. That, or he had something in his hair. So he made me skip that sequence and start on a different one. I had to turn just so, not concious of my still sore back, and winced. Ah, like I said, forgot about them. I eased out of that position and tried to relax for a sec. Never a good idea to push your bruised back into other stuff too soon.  
  
"What are you waiting for? Permisson?" Maybe he was having a bad day too, or something. Gah. Must resist doing bodily harm to my teacher even if he is a complete ass.  
  
"I don't need permission, for your information. I just happen to have fallen on my back and it's just a wee bit sore."  
  
Back injuries were always the worst you could get. I mean, you couldn't really reach your own back all too well and having an itch there was just plain irritating and made your skin crawl if you didn't scratch it. In my opinion, the back is the worst place to have anything, be it itch, scratch, bruise, or broken bone.  
  
Anyway, back to the matter at hand, Haldir put his fists on his hips and glared down at me. I mean literally glared down at me. The dude may be one of the shorter of the Elven race, but he was still pretty friggin' tall! That's probably one of the reasons I never look Elves in the eyes, 'cause their eyes are just way too far up for my neck to handle. Bleh.  
  
"Why does that not surprise me?" he half muttered and half growled. Then louder, "Let me see."  
  
I blanched. "See?" Was my voice changing or something? That was the second time today I squeaked. "See what?"  
  
He rolled his eyes and stepped closer. "See your back, idiot." As he took another step forward, I took a step back. He frowned. "What?"  
  
"It's fine! It's just sore, that's all! It's fine!" No need to tell me I was panicking. I tend to panic when someone mentions looking at my back. I don't feel comfortable showing that much skin, and there was also that tattoo the size of Canada.  
  
"Even so, it is best if I look at it. I don't want any sudden complications slowing down your training, no matter how minor." He was advancing a little more quickly on me. For every two steps he took, I retreated one. I briefly considered running, but that wouldn't do much good. He would just catch me.  
  
His frown deepened and I blinked. How the HELL did he get so close so suddenly. I backpedaled but he caught my upper arms in his hands and whirled me around so my back was to him. I shut my eyes and tensed like a jack-in-the-box ready to spring out unexpectedly.  
  
I felt one hand move from my arm and then tug my tunic up. He started and let it drop back down. I cringed and waited. He hesitantly pulled my tunic back up again, this time all the way up to my neck. Thank God the front only moved a few inches, not revealing anything important. But I nearly jumped out of my skin when his other hand was suddenly in contact with my spine.  
  
"I remember you told me of a tattoo on your back, but I never expected this....." he trailed off. I felt him lightly trace one of the designs and I shivered and squeezed my eyes so tightly that I started to see bright spots. "I never knew...." Then he mumbled, "The Tree of the High Elves and the Star of the House of Feanor. And this is of the Dwarves..."  
  
I didn't have a clue about what he was talking about. I was barely learning about the creation of Middle-earth, and now he was springing all this new stuff on me.  
  
I felt my tunic slip back down and waited a minute before opening my eyes and turning to look at Haldir. Surprisingly, he looked kinda sad. I may have only known him for around a week or so, but trust me on this, Haldir never looks sad.  
  
"What?" It seemed way too quiet. The trees leaves weren't rustling and the sound of others practicing with their blades or bows was absent. This was a practicing ground, people should be practicing dammit!  
  
"You have truly been given a great gift, and a great burden." he told me softly.  
  
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Tell me something I don't already know."  
  
"But do you truly understand?" he asked.  
  
"What's there to understand? I got these freaky ass powers that I never wanted and i'm expected to do something important with them. I don't see any deeper meaning in this." I was starting to get antsy and kept shifting my weight from foot to foot.  
  
"Do you know who Feanor was?" I shook my head. He cocked his head to the right slightly and nodded to himself. "That is right, you have not gotten that far yet. When you learn of him, you might understand. You are ignorant at times, but not stupid."  
  
Well, that was a backhanded compliment if i've ever heard one. "Gee, thanks."  
  
He looked over my shoulder quickly before staring at me again. "Hurry and replace your weapons. I've held you over our time limit." I looked over my shoulder and saw Rumil standing just outside of the treeline.  
  
I ran to Arlindur's hut and quickly said a hello and good-bye before leaving and stopped next to Rumil. Just for the record, I hate running. I suck at it, and couldn't win a race if my life depended on it.  
  
We started walking back towards the center of the city, and didn't talk. I wondered if Rumil had heard (or seen) any of the stuff that had happened recently. I hope not. It was bad enough that Haldir had seen it.  
  
"Who is Feanor, Rumil?" I asked quite out of the blue. Startled, he glanced at me, then returned his gaze to the trail ahead of us.  
  
"He is an Elf that helped shape Arda as we know it in quite a roundabout way. He also helped instigate a fight that defined many Elves as what we call kinslayers. We are not that far into history yet, but we will get there soon. A few days, maybe."  
  
Yeah, like that really helped me understand what the hell Haldir was talkin' about.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Faulkner: The reference to High Elves Tree and Dwarven symbols and all that crap I got from FOTR. The stuff about Feanor from the Silmarillion, which I haven't been able to finish. There is only one copy in all of our library and I have never been able to get my hands on it! Rrrggh. Anyway, i'm sorry for the slow updates. We've been doing some redecorating in our house (stripping wallpaper, urgh) and three math classes aren't helping all that much either. Not to mention i've been sick (in the summer!) and I recently got some extra chores. As you can probably tell, my life has been getting pretty full lately. But have no fear, I WILL update as soon as I can. I'm trying to reserve time for daily writing, but nothings for sure people. Thanks for your understanding.  
  
Pinky: And master has also issued a challenge! The winner will get an appearance in this (or her other) story. Maybe both! And the challenge iiiiiiiiisssssss.........  
  
Tell me who said this: "Live and learn!....Though he was thinking of gardening, not of roosting like a bird, nor of trying to walk like a spider. Not even my uncle Andy ever tried a trick like that!"  
  
Since there's three books, and a lot of pages, i'll give ya a hint. The quote was said in good ol' Lothlorien. When you answer the challenge, make sure you give your e-mail as well, or if you're registered, I can go to your bio thingy and get it there. If I can't get your e-mail, then you are automatically DQ'd. And that does NOT mean Dairy Queen folks. 


	14. VERY IMPORTANT!

This isn't a chapter folks, so keep your shirts on. This is just a nice little innocent Authors Note (and orcs do ballet...). I'll be answering just a few questions i've been getting and some other stuff AFTER I announce the winner in my contest.  
  
ANYWAY. I'd like to get all the formal crap out of the way and thank all the contestants in my little, well, contest! Jess, Sami, Lady Death2, Aislin2, and Hanya the Bloody Angel (not necessarily in that order). You'll also be delighted to know that ALL of you had the correct final answers. Alas, I can only choose ONE winner, and that was the person who got their answer in first which was....... drumroll please Pinky.......  
  
....................  
  
....................  
  
Hanya the Bloody Angel! Congrats to ya mi amigo. I'll contact ya (if I haven't already) shortly about the next chappie and your almost definite presence in it. You'll probably be privvy to some spoilers to some future chapters and I sincerely HOPE that you'll keep them to yourself.  
  
And now, to some other junk.  
  
Jess ~ Yes, you are correct. Narya is the name of the Elven Ring that good ol' Gandy has in his possesion. Which he borrowed from Cirdan the Shipwright (Elf who rules the Grey Havens, place where Elves sail for Valinor) who got it from Gil-galad before the Noldor High King died. And he, in turn, got it from the maker himself, Celebrimbor. Whew! Long history lesson there. Sorry bout that.  
  
Hanya the Bloody Angel ~ Yes, Narya is a wee bit vengeful. Especially to an arrogant Marchwarden of Lothlorien. But whose naming names? (*cough cough* Haldir! *cough cough*) Sorry bout that. I think i'm coming down with something.... That's great that you like the way I put the story from her POV and writing it like you're in her mind. And what a nasty little mind she has! ::snicker::  
  
Cassie-bear01 ~ So sorry about the disappointment on pairings. I've posted a slash free version of my story on another site with Haldir/OC, but not Narya. You can find it on www.scribeoz.com. I'm pretty sure that's the URL... anime princess4 ~ No worries about explicit stuff. I just can't write it that well, if at all. Not to mention most of that stuff is banned from ff.net. But little pockets of it still live on on this site (hallelujah!). Sorry, I just couldn't resist putting some slash in here. And i'll try to make 'em longer, but school isn't really helping too much in that area. And i'm just curious about the (I quote) ",. . . . .pinky. . . .ghost. . . uh . .nevermind"  
  
saiyan-girl-cheetah ~ Heh, anything goes..... Yep. You've learned that lesson pretty quickly with me. Thanks for your pretty regular reviews. Like water to the dehydrated.... Sorry, couldn't help the analogy, me living in the desert and all. Glad you like it so much too. I find myself lucky that people actually like my stories, and those that don't don't bother flaming me. Too many of my friends have gotten flamed, or haven't gotten barely any reviews at all. Yep, i'm definitely lucky.  
  
SilverWinter ~ I didn't mention it anywhere else, just so's ya know. But I bet you are just a little happy that this didn't turn out to be a Legolas/OC. Those are pretty cool (hell, I have one!) but there are just so many of them...... Oy vei.  
  
Crimson Starlight ~ Expect the unexpected. I've had to learn that one the hard way. I'm glad you like the plot twist (I DID tell you all to beware!) And congrats on you finishing No Eyes Needed. That story was awesome, along with the one you worte about Erin and Boromir. I love 'em, even though i'm pretty sure I never reviewed. Yes, it is an undeniable fact that i'm an ass. Please don't hate the idiot that is me.  
  
Emily ~ As i've stated somehwere's up top, there is a non-slash one on a different site - www.scribeoz.com. You can find it and another story of mine that wasn't posted on ff.net there under Faulkner as well. And I do respect your not liking of slash. The whole site that I put the non-slash one on is SLASH FREE. Only het is allowed there.  
  
Kate ~ Again, I respect you're opinion, but this is how the slash one goes. Again, the non-slash one can be found at www.scribeoz.com under my screename Faulkner. Feel free to check that one out.  
  
I wish I was dead.... ~ Meh, everyone has their own opinions. Read the above reply to find the non-slash version of this story. Most everything else is the same though.  
  
RavenGirl ~ Thanks for the support. ::sigh:: I find that some people just don't broaden their horizons enough.... But hey, you like what you like.  
  
dragonfly32 ~ Thanks for stickin' with it. I've said it once and i'll say it again - you can find the non-slash version on www.scribeoz.com under Faulkner as well. Sadly, I only have three reviews on that site. ::sigh:: Oh well. 'Tis the life of a writer I guess....  
  
Serpent of Light ~ Yeah, keep your mind out of the gutter! ::snort:: Thanks for all the enthusiasm. Makes me feel five again.... And what the HELL am I talking about?! Eh, my art teacher is rubbing off on me. He talks to himself a lot, and I find myself now doing the same thing. ::sigh:: I was nutty before, but now it shows even more! Hey, that rhymes....  
  
Dara Maeko ~ No review is useless. Your reviews kinda remind me of my friend (insert her name here)'s. Sorry, dunno if I should write her name down here. You never know what creepy perverts cruise cyberspace. ::looks around nervously:: Ugh, a guy once asked me to 'cyber' with him in a Yahoo game room. Thank God I said no and gave him the best written bashing I could do in my shocked state. ::shivers:: That was sooooo not cool man.  
  
Aviarianna O Lorien ~ Yep, he really isn't that arrogant the way good ol' Tolkien wrote him (I actually DO respect the sacred Tolkien books, contrary to popular belief). But he's so much more fun to write when he's arrogant, you gotta admit that. And besides, i've given him his moments....  
  
Dreamstrifer ~ Y'know, I choked on my ham sandwich when I first saw you had reviewed my story. My step-dad nearly broke my back when he 'patted' it to help me. ::rolls eyes:: Your stories kick ass. My friend doesn't have internet, and when she read the first chapter to Fellowship of the Fanatics, she practically got her hands and knees and begged me to print out all the other chapters for her. So I did that for the longest time until I moved across the US to Kentucky. Left her on a mean cliffie in Return of the Elf. Dunno if she ever got to finish that one and start on Heather's Adventures. But she's so enamored with Legolas, that I doubt she's read that one. Save me from the folly of Legolas obsessors all over the globe....  
  
danceingfae ~ Not quite sure what you mean about the "don't know all these skills out of sheer dumb luck" line. Don't know what to make of it, but I highly doubt it's an insult, so I won't take it as one. And i'm still not too sure on Elvish weekends. I'll have to research it a bit more (when I have time......urgh) and stick it in there somewheres.  
  
Luin, Nuin, and Eren ~ I feel that Celeborn got the bad end of the deal when PJ made the movies. Granted, the movies are pretty cool, but there's just so many bloody inconsistencies! I've seen less holes in a strainer! Haldir also got killed! My friend cried when poor Haldir died, since we went to see TTT together. Man, that just really sucked!  
  
Cindy ~ Wow, I brought tears to someones eyes. Never knew I could do that! I've made people pissed, mad, angry, insane, happy, confused.... never made 'em cry though. I feel i've given Celeborn a little breathing space, made him a little more likable. And I bet you a million bucks Tolkien is banging on his coffin, cursin' me to the ends of the Earth for what i've done to his beloved characters.  
  
Tarilenea ~ Wow, i'm on your favorites list! How cool is that? Hope i'm still there too!  
  
Passion Lover ~ ::beams:: Yep. Never knew I could get so in depth at times. Been a while since you've last reviewed, but I understand. We all have lives beyond fanfiction. Some more than anothers (umlike myself). Since I took a while to write the first couple of chapters (eight) before posting them, they're pretty thorough. It makes me so happy that you really like this story!  
  
Andray ~ Heh, love your short reviews. They're scattered all about the place! Always short and to the point, but who likes a person that's always beatin' around the bush, so to speak? Thanks for your continual support and reviews! I love 'em both.  
  
WHEW!! ::gasps for breath:: That was long. ::deadpans:: Sorry if I didn't get you in there. But ya'll know my life is as far from simple and easy as one could possibly get. I only have time to do this because Labor Day is tomorrow and no school! YAY! Eat THAT Mr.Wilder!! MUAHAHAHAH!! NO MATH!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!  
  
Er, sorry. As you can tell, I don't like Mr.Wilder all too much. He's the dude that gives me all the math homework that I mostly finish at school during History, which is so bloody easy and boring as hell. So's Science. I also have Science with Mr.Wilder. It's boring too, but I can't do my homeowrk then because I sit in the front row. Crap, I also have a model due friday. Eep. Help. I'M BEING BURRIED ALIVE!!!!!!!  
  
Ah, anyways, I think that's all for now. Next chapter of my other story might be a little long in coming. Gonna do my best though.  
  
~*Faulkner*~  
  
"Evil unchecked grows, evil tolerated poisons the whole system."  
  
IMPORTANT PS!!!!  
  
If anyone reads Dreamstrifer's "Heather's Adventures", could you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE e-mail me chapter 16? I really don't care what it really is, be it Authors Note or story chapter, but PLEASE e-mail it to me at msmccarthy@peoplepc.com. I would greatly appreciate it since my damn piece of crap called a computer WON'T LET ME!!!! CURSES!!!!! 


	15. Bloody

Faulkner: For those of you who read In The End, Does It Matter?, the next chapter will be just a little long in coming. I've finally gotten my hands on The Silmarillion and am reading that, and I also have to do a little reaserch on the next chapter for that story. I can only do so much! And then there's a Chicken Festival coming up, so I should be able to get some things done during that time. But trust me, the Festival isn't as tweaked as it sounds. At least, I hope not.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I think I might have mentioned this before, but I liked reading. It was just about the only thing that kept me from going insane for real at the Institute. I could immerse myself in other peoples problems and then forget about mine. At least for a short while anyways. And with all these books around me, my palms were itching like crazy to read them. My palms always itched for some reason when books were nearby. It's just one more very weird fact about me.  
  
Thank God Rumil was there. If it weren't for him, I would never have learned all this cool stuff about the Valar and Maia (who sounded suspiciously like wizards and witches). And about that one dude called Iluvatar. But man, were their names freaky! They were hard to remember, let alone pronounce! I had a feeling that all the Elvish words and names would be hard to pronounce.  
  
"Wait a sec. So are you telling me that these trees gave off enough light to light up all of Valinor?" I asked sceptically.  
  
Rumil turned to look at me from over the book. "Yes. They were the greatest trees to have ever been grown, and ever will grow. Yavanna Kementari herself sung them to life upon the Holy Hill." Trees, sung to life..... This world is definitely strange.  
  
"Okay. Whatever you say. Read on."  
  
We only got as far as the first Elves before the time for this lesson was up. Sirith looked to be in a fairly pissy mood today, by the way he was oh so subtly (not) slamming things. What was creepy though was that even when he slammed things he was graceful. Dammit, they were graceful in everything, even anger! No fair.......  
  
"We need to work on your basic pronounciation before you learn any more words. You speak them like an uneducated heathen." Hey! I'll have you know hot-shot that I got very good grades in English!  
  
I tell ya, those pronounciation lessons were pure torture for my tongue and jaw. I kept getting everything all twisted and screwed up. And I was getting severely thirsty. Rumil may have let me eat my lunch while I listened to him read from some history book, but all this work was making my mouth go dry.  
  
"Not too bad, human. You are getting better. But you're not good enough. I highly suggest that you practice these tonight." and then he swept away from the table and out of the library. I stared at the space he had been occupating for a second or two before shaking my head slowly.  
  
"These Elves are having a bad influence on me." I mumbled to no one but myself. "I gotta do somethin' about this."  
  
I went down the steps to the forest floor, still thinking about all the funky pronounciations. I was barely paying any attention to where the hell I was going, and lucky I didn't get lost. But my luck went into a dead halt there because I walked straight into someone. Both of us fell to the floor and got a few leaves on our clothes.  
  
"Woah. Sorry, I didn't see you." I got back up and held out my hand for the (surprise!) man to take. It wasn't an Elf, nope, it was a man! A regular man! Well, as regular as one could get in this world. I wouldn't have noticed it though, if it weren't for the whole no-pointy-ears thing and that he didn't gleaming silver-blond hair.  
  
Well, he did have blond hair, but it was darker, more of a dirty blond color. But still blond. And damn, was this dude tall! Gah, he was taller than Haldir, but I bet Haldir could whip his ass any day of the week. Anyway, his blond hair only went to his shoulders, nad he had some really cool deep blue eyes. They were a lot like Haldir's.  
  
"Watch where you're going!" he growled. He completely ignored my hand and got up and dusted himself off. "You need to keep you're eyes open, Elf."  
  
"Hey! I take offense to that! I'm no Elf, stupid. Do you see any points?" I pulled back my short black hair so he could see my ears. "And if you're so smart, then how come you didn't move out of the way or something, hmm?" I shot back. He looked slightly startled at the fact that I was human like he was. Then he got angry.  
  
"Watch your tongue, little girl! Or else i'll kindly remove it from your head." This guy was really asking for it.  
  
"I'll watch mine as soon as you watch where you're going." Never let it be said that Narya, now of the Elves of Lothlorien, took crap from anyone. Even if he was sort of of my own kind.  
  
"You're the one that ran into me!"  
  
"I did not!"  
  
"Liar!"  
  
"Idiot!"  
  
By now we were inches away from each other and I had to lean my head back to be able to look him in the eye. I was getting a crick in my neck too. He gritted his teeth and I swore I could hear them grinding together. Freaky.  
  
"Back down, child." he growled at me.  
  
"Ladies first, pansy." I replied. Another growl. "Or should I say doggie?" He started to growl again, but swallowed it.  
  
"Cai! The Lady has sent for you! You don't want to keep her waiting." an unfamiliar voice called. I looked over my shoulder and saw (gasp!) Legolas. He was motioning to the guy that was giving me such a hard time.  
  
"Alright! I'm on my way." The dude who I now knew was called Cai stepped away from me and picked up a bag that he had evidently dropped when we bumped into each other. Then he was off with a nod towards Haldir's love interest.  
  
"Bastard." I grumbled to myself and started back towards my flet.  
  
I tried to shove my hands into my pockets, but the problem was, I didn't have any! Damn. Note to self: get a tailor to put pockets in my pants. Or leggings, whatever these people called 'em. Gah, so many names for something so simple.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
I nearly tripped over my own feet when I heard him speak from right by me. Nobody should be that quiet when walking. I swear, it should be illegal or somethin'.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What happened between you and Cai?" Seeing him up close, I realized that Legolas was a real cute Elf-dude. Too bad he was taken.  
  
"Oh, nuthin'. I just sorta ran into him on accident." I shrugged and kept on walking. "He made a big deal out of nothing. For a minute there I thought we would get into a smackdown or something."  
  
Legolas looked at me and raised a questioning eyebrow. "Smackdown? Haldir told me you used peculier terms." He smiled at me. "Among other things." Okay. NOW he's got my full attention.  
  
"Like what? None of it could have been good." I said wryly.  
  
"Why don't you ask him? If you'll excuse me, I must leave. Farewell, my lady." He bowed and then left. Just like that. I stood there for a second, blinking at the space where he had been.  
  
"Woah. This, is getting just way too weird for me." I mumbled yet again. These Middle-Earth people were really screwing with my head. Almost literally it seemed to me. I'd be amazed if I made it out of this experience alive.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------  
  
"Hey Haldir." I swirled around the stuff on my plate that looked like mashed potatoes, but tasted more like corn-beef.  
  
"Yes?" I stole a glance at him. He was utterly relaxed, and staring at a certain Prince of Mirkwood, who was sitting on the other side of our resident royalty.  
  
"What did you tell Legolas about me? I happened to meet him after I ran into this one guy." I asked.  
  
He looked at me for a second after taking a bite out of his meat. "Nothing really." he finally answered. "I told him how you came here and about your lessons. Not much at all." Then how come I had the feeling you were lying through your teeth, Haldir of Lothlorien?  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
I snorted and earned a couple of looks from some nearby Elves. Geez, you'd think they'd never seen a seventeen year old kid before! I think this place need to loosen up just a bit and yank whatever is up their butts out. They all remind me of rich pricks, the way they all look down on me sometimes! It gets really frustrating after a while.  
  
Fortunately, supper ended soon and I left by myself for my flet. I was yet again caught up in my thoughts (for some reason these people made me think alot) and I yet again ran into that same ass.  
  
"What is wrong with you woman?! Do you delight in tormenting me?" he yelled.  
  
"Well EXCUSE ME! Sorry for walking into his highness! Maybe if you looked half decent I would bow before you and kiss your nasty ass boots!" and I stuck my tongue out at him. I know, I know. That was really mature, huh?  
  
"Learn some manners, woman! Or maybe it is a male with a bosom? I have heard tell of them roaming about the Wilds!"  
  
Oh, you just pushed some buttons that were better off left alone. It's on now! I could distinctly remember a horse opera (western, to those who are cultured) where this one dude said, "Them's fightin' words!" Well, I wouldn't say that, but I would say this:  
  
"This means war."  
  
Whenever I thought back to that moment, I never really could remember who struck first. But with my temper, I suppose it could have been me. I should have just scared him off with a little fire-show, but that doesn't hold as much appeal as an old-fashioned fist-fight. It had been a while since I had last fought some dude. And here, I wouldn't get solitary for it either. Though I probably would get some kind of a punishment. I always said rules were meant to be broken.  
  
He swung at my head and I ducked and kicked out at his feet to unbalance him. He did trip up a little, but not nearly enough for me to work with. So I swung at him while he was still getting his balance and hit him right in the jaw. But damn, did that guy have a tough face! I was pretty sure I had bruised my knuckles badly, if not broken them. He retaliated by knocking the wind out of me, and I fell to my knees, gaspng for breath. I was still gasping when I tackled his knees and brought him down to the ground.  
  
The fist-fight turned into a wrestling match as we tumbled around a bit, getting leaves and such stuck in our hair and clothes. I remember hearing somebody shouting something, and then hands trying to separate us.  
  
"Get off! Let me at him, let me at him!" I screamed as I struggled to knock his lights out. Oh yeah, pissed didn't even BEGIN to describe how I felt. No one, and I mean NO ONE got away with calling me names and meaning it.  
  
"Wretch!" he spat. "You'd do well to cut off your claws before I do it for you!"  
  
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" I would recognize that bellow anywhere. The ruckus we had started immediately stopped as the small crowd parted and (guess who?) Haldir came forward with Legolas only two steps behind him.  
  
No one immediately answered, so Haldir asked an Elf that he must have known. At least I think he asked the Elf, because they were speaking Elvish. I noticed the scowl form as he shot me a dirty look. I glared at the back of his head when he turned away before turning to my opponent.  
  
He was about as beat up as I was. He had a lovely bruise on his jaw where I had first hit him and he was slightly favoring one leg. He had a few leaves in his hair as well as his clothes. And I certainly won't forget the cut just above his right eyebrow.  
  
And then there was me. I also had leaves in my hair and clothes, but they were the least of my worries. My left eye hurt, and I bet it was turning black at the moment. I must have hit him pretty hard because my right hand knuckles were bleeding, along with my nose. I swiped at the blood before tilting my head back and pinching it. Wouldn't do any good to get blood all over the place. They were a bitch to get out of clothes.  
  
I zoned back in and caught the last few sentences of whatever Haldir had been saying. "......and make sure his jaw is tended. Narya, I will escort you back to your flet and have Miriel look at your injuries." Then he said something that sounded suspiciously like an order and gripped my elbow tightly.  
  
We walked back to my place and up the ladder. I could tell he was really mad at me, just by the way he was clenching his jaw and gripping my elbow. My lower arm was starting to go numb becuase he was cutting off some of the blood supply.  
  
Not long after I sat down Miriel came in and started telling me off about getting into fights. She went into my small bathroom and got a washcloth, a small bowl of hot water, and took out some funky leaves from a pouch at her waist.  
  
"You may be young, but even you should know that starting fights isn't a very good idea. Look at yourself! Your eye will be practically useless for the next two days at least, because of the swelling!" She clucked her tongue and started to clean all the blood off my face. "There, now remove your hand so I can have a look at it." I slowly did just that, in casr it hadn't stopped. Lucky for me it had. She told me to wipe off my hands and I did that while she looked at my nose and unexpectedly prodded it.  
  
"Ow! Hey, that's sensitive! Are you trying to make it bleed again?" I brought up my now clean hand to protect my nose from any more unexpected assaults on it.  
  
"It's not broken, but it will be quite sore." She started to soak the dried out leaves she had taken out of her pouch and went back into the bathroom to get something. She came back out with a little ball of linen that she unraveled and set on the table. "Let me see your hand." I held it out for her inspection. She cleaned it, and the bleeding stopped finally. Then se brought it closer to her face and started 'hmmm'ing over it.  
  
"These are some pretty curious scars you have." she mumbled. I would've heard her better if I had had that super-Elf hearing. "You might have more to add to them yet." After another glance at them, she dropped my hand from her grasp and started to soak the linens in that water with the leaves in them. Then she lifted them back out and squeezed all the excess stuff out before starting to wrap it around my knuckles.  
  
"Ah! That's hot!" I got half-way out of my seat before I was pushed back in by Haldir. He glared down at me while keeping his hands on my shoulders. Miriel tied a knot in the linen to keep it on and then turned back to her strange water-leaf combination. She soaked the clean washcloth in it and then squeezed out the excess. Then she rolled it into a ball and handed it to me.  
  
"Keep this on your eye, and it will help keep the swelling down so you can possibly see through it tomorrow. All I can say about your nose is to be careful the next day or so." She cleaned off the table and put everything back in its proper place.  
  
"Thanks Miriel. Night." I called after her as she left. I wish she hadn't because that now left me alone. With Haldir. Who happened to be very pissy.  
  
Pardon my Fench, but, FUCK IT.  
  
"You listen, and you listen well, Narya. No one, and I mean NO ONE get's into fights while i'm the Marchwarden." And so started my lovely little lecture. He camly and very menacingly told me the error of my ways before bellowing at me to get to bed before he personally drugged a glass of water to put me asleep. And then he stomped out of the talan, slamming the door, and left.  
  
"Too bad I don't have a radio. Then I would've heard the storm warning for that and been prepared. Hurricane Haldir has just passed, and i've been left intact. Hallelujah." I sniggered to myself as I set down the washcloth and changed into some PJ's. I put it back on my eye and let it sit there for a few minutes before setting it back down on the table and going to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Faulkner: You likee? For those of you who hadn't noticed, Cai (the dude she fought with) was the character that I promised to put in for Hanya. So there it is babe! And the references in the beginning were from The Silmarillion. Since I FINALLY got it from the library. 


	16. Bad Girl!

Faulkner: Y'know it's just typical that I get sick with a cold before the infamous Chicken Festival. And then when I go in hopes that the cold won't bug me too much, I get a bad stomach ache from some kind of bad school food. Never have the schools dessert folks. It could be deadly. Add a pissy math teacher that really needs to get laid to the equation (pun intended) and you have one helluva week. There's my life. Now excuse me while I go cough my guts up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was dark. I don't like the dark all that much, but it was okay as long as I could see. But this utter pitch-blackness wasn't in that category since I couldn't see my finger touching my nose. It was really quite disturbing. I mean, how could I tell if I was walking on solid ground? What if I walked straight into a fifty foot deep hole?  
  
I know, I know. Stop all the dramatics. But it really was unsettling. Made me uneasy.  
  
I hesitantly took a step forward and encountered solid ground. So I took another step. And another. Then another and another and another until I was walking normally. I didn't see anyone else, like I was in an endless empty room. I was seriously gettin' creeped out by this.  
  
"Hello? Hellllllloooooooooo?" I called. There was no answer. I wondered how I had suddenly got here. Why wasn't I in my flet, in Lothlorien? I wanted to be back home!  
  
I was startled when I realized that I thought of Lothlorien as home. But why shouldn't I? I was well fed, taught, and even had a friend or two.... I think. And I also realized that I was starting to feel scared. I don't like feeling scared either. With fear comes the feeling of helplessness and dread. I don't like those feelings either.  
  
So I kept calling out, hoping someone would answer me. I didn't care who, just as long as I got out of this strange place. I didn't even know how I got here in the first place! I think I was also starting to panic. Panic wasn't too healthy of a feeling either.  
  
Eventually, those two feelings started to take over. I was panicking and running all over the damn place, yelling for someone to answer me. I didn't care which direction I was heading in. I just didn't care. And I kept on running, frequently changing direction and quite certain I kept covering the same ground.  
  
And then I suddenly ran into someone. I fell flat on my butt and the impact knocked a little sense into me. So I calmed down and got back to my feet.  
  
"Hey? Excuse me, but do you know where I am? Where here is?" I asked the person. I couldn't really see much except for an outline of a figure. "Hey, can you hear me? Answer me!" I think I was starting to panic again.  
  
Wordlessly, the figure started to move and I think it turned around so it was facing me (if it hadn't already been). It moved closer until the outline of two legs, two arms, and a head came into focus. Other than that, I had absolutely no idea what the person looked like.  
  
It stopped about two feet away from me and suddenly the world became bright. I tightly shut my eyes, the suddeness of the light hurting. After a minute I hesitantly opened them, slowly until they adjusted. When they had, I looked at the person and started to quickly backpedal.  
  
It was HIM.  
  
I whimpered as I tried to get away even faster without letting him leave my sight. He had always been dangerous, very dangerous. Even more so when you couldn't see Him. He had always caused me so much pain, even when He wasn't in my prescence.  
  
The sadistic bastard grinned and followed my retreat. I hated Him more than anything else in the world. More than my parents that had abandoned me when I had needed them the most. More than Dr.Stanton who despite all his good intentions never really ever did any good. More than the orderlies that tormented me and made everyday life worse than it already was.  
  
He wasn't exactly an orderly himself, but He was basicly in that same area. He worked at the Institute, but not as a 'keeper of the peace' to put it mildly. Nope, He worked in Block Z. He was the dude that did the electro- therapies. He was the one that was responsible for most of my physical and emotional agonies.  
  
You see, I had been given electro-therapy twice. Both times had been utmost HELL for me. The first time, I had gone temporarily worse than I had supposedly already been. I my body shook for a week nonstop. I couldn't feel my hands or my feet and had been confined to solitary for all of that week.  
  
The second time had been much worse. I had the same symptoms as the last time, and more. The dosage that He had given me the second time was more than He was supposed to have given me. But He didn't get in trouble for it either. Nobody cared if I went temporarily suicidal. My thoughts had become very twisted, the criminally insane couldn't have made much sense out of my thought process. My fascination with knives became very dangerous.  
  
So dangerous that one night, I had snuck out of my room and stole into the kitchen. Once there, I had looked for the biggest knife I could find. That turned out to be a giant meat cleaver. I don't remeber how, but I had gotten the gloves off and started to cut my knuckles. First only shallow cuts, so shallow that they healed in seconds and barely even bled. But they got deeper and deeper and it took longer for them to heal. My blood was soon spattered on the cleaver and on the floor, not to mention my clothes. And because of the electro-therapy, I couldn't feel any of it. For that I was slightly grateful, because I was positive that it had been very painful if I had felt it. I remember that I had gotten close to severing my fingers when a nurse had found me and called orderlies to take care of things.  
  
When my mind had returned to me, I had been shackled to a bed being given sedatives more often than usual. My fingers had ached for days after that. Just because I healed quickly, didn't mean I couldn't feel the pain afterwards.  
  
"Come now, Ashley. I'm only here to help. You did so well the last couple of times." His greasy hair slid forward and covered one watery grey eye from my sight. He held out a thin pale hand with long fingers in my direction.  
  
"NO!" I yelled as loud as I could. This had to be a nightmare. It just had to be! I was safe in Lothlorien, perfectly safe where Haldir had recently lectured me and Rumil had told me about the Valar and Iluvatar and Melkor and Orophin had taught me so much about how to walk quietly through the woods. And then kind Telepcoire with his slightly dry humor was teaching me how to ride.  
  
"I'm not here! You're not here! I'm just dreaming! I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming -" I didn't dare close my eyes but I put my hands over my ears.  
  
"Come Ashley. Give in." he hissed as he drew nearer.  
  
"- I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming I'm dreaming." and as I stopped to take a deep breath he was suddenly right in front of me and had his nasty scrawny hands that reminded me of white spiders on my hands and wrenched my hands away from my ears.  
  
"You know this is real. It's as real as your cursed evil. You are a plague upon the world that we are trying to control, but it's so hard to control the uncontrollable."  
  
I would have cried if my mouth and every other part of me hadn't suddenly felt dry and exposed.  
  
"No..." I moaned. I knew it wasn't true. I WASN'T a plague! My powers be dammed but I WASN'T a plague!  
  
His face got barely an inch away from mine and he whispered/hissed quite menacingly to me, "Yessss. You kill whatever you touch. Why do you think your parents got rid of you? They knew what you are, though it took them four years to figure it out. Or maybe they pitied you, or thought they could change you. But *I* know different, don't I?"  
  
I closed my eyes in horror and tried to shut out his words. I felt one of his hands let go of mine and just let the freed hand hang limply by my side. I didn't do anything even when I felt his hand briefly squeeze my hip, then my thigh. But I did start to shiver quite uncontrollably.  
  
It was a well known fact that some patients DID get raped, both male and female. They were also the ones that were treated much better and didn't have to take medication. There was no love shared between the two parties if the contact continued for a week or more. It was just sex for as close to freedom as one could get in the Institute.  
  
"You are a plague, Ashley. And you have infected me." For a second I felt his nasty thin lips on mine.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so loudly that all of Middle-earth would wake-up and say "What the hell was that?" Sadly, I couldn't do that. My throat was closed so tightly that i'd be lucky to get a squeak out. I was shivering horribly, and I didn't even try to stop it. I couldn't have, even if I had wanted to.  
  
It had really been a dream, and yet it hadn't. I could still feel his clammy hands on mine and the disgusting feel of his lips. I jumped out of bed and washed out my mouth at least ten times trying to get rid of the feel of it. It did work to a certain degree, but the feeling didn't wholly leave me, and I shuddered again.  
  
I nervously started rubbing my knuckles. I had a feeling that if I looked, there would be a few more scars added to the already numerous one on them. I guess bashing in faces did have a downside to it. I walked back into the main room and tried to settle back down to sleep. But within five minutes I was up and pacing the room.  
  
I felt caged in. I don't like feeling caged in. And my shivers still hadn't stopped. I couldn't stop them. I just knew that they wouldn't stop on their own for a while. It looked like it was going to be an all-nighter.  
  
"Wanna love ya.  
  
Wanna bug ya.  
  
Wanna squeeze ya, stupid girl."  
  
It was the only thing I could think of at the moment to calm my poor frayed nerves. And it usually worked too.  
  
"Wanna touch ya.  
  
Wanna take ya.  
  
Wanna shaunt ya, stupid girl."  
  
I sat down at the table and brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them as I slowly rocked back and forth.  
  
"I can't take this, born to break this."  
  
I shut my eyes tightly, just concentrating on playing the melody to the song in my head.  
  
"She's going away (she's going away).  
  
What's wrong with my life today?  
  
She's going away (she's going away).  
  
What's wrong with my life today?"  
  
My shakes weren't stopping, or even slowing down, but I was feeling a bit calmer.  
  
"Stupid girl.  
  
Stupid girl."  
  
I took a deep breath, which also helped a little. My mind was getting back to the usual odd way it just was.  
  
"I'm a loner  
  
I'm a loser  
  
I'm a winner in my mind  
  
I'm a bad one  
  
I'm a good one  
  
I'm a sick one with a smile  
  
I can't take this, born to break this  
  
She's going away (she's going away)  
  
What's wrong with my life today?  
  
What's wrong with my life today?  
  
What's wrong with my life today?  
  
Stupid girl  
  
Stupid girl  
  
Stupid girl  
  
Stupid girl."  
  
I felt much better now. I could think clearly and find a way to occupy my mind, hopefully. But it would still be a long night. Yep, a very loooooong night....  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I woke up in the corner of my talan. I had absolutely no idea what time it was, other than daylight. I was too comfortable in my little nest of blankets and pillows that I had scrunched in the corner to get up. I had evidently stripped the bed and moved all the stuff to the corner. Eh, sometimes I just needed to feel closed in. It's a pretty weird desire, but it works every time on getting me to sleep. I only use it on occaison though since I usually sleep for a very long time whenever I use this method.  
  
So, like I said earlier, I was too comfortable to be moving so I stayed where I was and closed my eyes, relaxing. Miriel would burst in any minute anyways, so what was the hurry? Maybe I could even get in a little more sleep. But that was far from likely since once I woke up, I usually stayed up becuase I couldn't get back to sleep.  
  
The door banged open (how did such a silent people make so much noise?) and in stepped Miriel. She only got three steps inside when she noticed that the bed was empty of everything. After quickly glancing in the immediate area, she left again. I just shrugged to myself and closed my eyes again. I guess i'd be getting a little more sleep then because I did fall back into slumber.  
  
It felt like only seconds later when I was roughly shaken. I moaned and tried to bury myself further into the covers. It was to no avail since they were pushed aside and I was picked up slightly and shaken again.  
  
"Wake up! We have no time for your games, Narya!" I groaned again, this time in despair as I recognized Haldir's voice. It sounded a bit gruff to me. Maybe something of the intimate nature was interrupted? Okay, it's too early to deal with these nasty thoughts that keep invading my mind. Waaaay too early.  
  
"UP!" I started at his bellow and tried to stand up. I only succeeded in falling to the ground and hurting my abused bum. Ow. Wooden floors hurt just as much as tile. Even more if there's splinters sticking up. Splinters up butt is not a good thing.  
  
I (much slower and carefully) got into a partially erect position so that I looked more like something of a female version of the Huntchback of Notre Dame. Hey, I was up wasn't I?  
  
I opened my eyes and rubbed them to get the sleepy out so I could see properly. Haldir was only a fuzzy lookin' blur until my sight was cleared. Then he looked like a pissed off Elf.  
  
"Get dressed and hurry. You've overslept and you have a meeting with the Lady for your punishment. I will be waiting outside." and he left and slammed the door.  
  
PUNISHMENT? Now THAT rang a bell in my slower-than-molasses brain. I did something I rarely ever did: I completely skipped my zombie phase of waking up where I didn't move any faster than necessary and didn't talk. I rushed around like a chicken with its head cut off to get ready and left a wee bit of a mess behind. But I did get dressed fairly fast.  
  
So I then found myself walking at a very brisk pace to the royal castle/palace talan. I guess that's where they say everybody when it came to official junk. Haldir didn't talk to me at all and was looking quite stony-faced. Not stoned-faced! Stony-faced. There's a difference, but I won't get into that at the moment.  
  
So we went up the very large staircase that made my legs ache just looking at it, not to mention going up it. When we reached the top he nudged my back and we entered the audience chamber. Galadriel and Celeborn were looking very ethereal and glowy this morning, sitting on their thrones and dressed all fancy-shmancy. What a Kodak moment, where's a camera when ya need one?  
  
I could feel their eyes go over me, probably looking for the injuries that I had gotten in the fight. Well, they wouldn't spot them without looking real good. My black eye had faded during the night and it was only a light shadow now. I had removed the bandage over my knuckles and was very dismayed to find that I did indeed have a new set of scars. Lovely.  
  
"We have been informed that a brawl took place last night between you and Cai." Celeborn said slowly. "This is a grave matter as fights are not tolerated by us, or our people. They are considered childish, and punishment is swift. Cai has already received his, and now you shall get yours." He stopped and looked me in straight in the eyes. Those dark jade eyes were very piercing, I discovered.  
  
"Galadriel and myself have discussed your punishment at length, and agree on the matter that it should not interfere with your training, which is vital. We've decided that since you've acted like a child, you shall be given a childs punishment. Every Free-day you shall have to work in the kitchens, doing whatever the cooks will have you to do. If you shirk one day of this, an extra three will be added to your punishment of a month.  
  
"A MONTH?" I couldn't help but squeak. A month of kitchen duty didn't sound like a lot of fun, if you ask me.  
  
Celeborn nodded. "Yes, a month." I groaned and smacked my forehead a couple of times, hoping I was dreaming again. I looked up to them and sighed as I realized I was very much awake. Damn it all. "Your sentence starts today." And we were dismissed.  
  
Back down the staircase, with me bitchin' and moanin' all the way down. A couple of days of solitary was better than this! A whole MONTH of kitchen work was definitely not cool man. I just didn't DO kitchen work. I didn't even know how cook oatmeal in a microwave for Pete's sake! Let alone do stuff the archaic way! Man, this just really bites.  
  
We passed the dining hall where meals were eaten and Haldir lead me to a building connected to it, but a bit smaller than the dining hall itself with a low ceiling and a few chimneys. The whole place was bustling with activity even though breakfast had probably been over for a good hour or so. Which reminded me that I hadn't had any breakfast. At this rate I probably wasn't going to get one either.  
  
Haldir called over some she-elf and spoke to her briefly with a few gestures towards me. She smiled kindly at me and said something back to him before he left me there with this stranger. Isn't he a nice guy? Ain't that the understatement of the year!  
  
"I am Adalina." she spoke slowly. I guess she couldn't speak English too well. Either that or thought I was very stupid. But the latter was very unlikely. "I have been requested to help you out on your first few days here. I'm one of the few of the people who work in the kitchens that know the Common Tongue."  
  
She led me around the kitchens, showing me where everything was in case I was needed to fetch something for someone (of course I probably wouldn't be of much help since I wouldn't be able to even UNDERSTAND THEM). I was also told the rules of the kitchen, mostly what I wasn't allowed to touch and/or use, wash my hands before handling food, blah blah blah. The usual kitchen safety shit. And since I had never before worked in a kitchen before I had to listen carefully and remember it all.  
  
Adalina occaisonally tripped over words, but I didn't give her any grief over it. Hell, she was better at English than I was at Elvish! And after all the formality stuff was taken care of I was given my first assignment.  
  
I had to cut vegetables. A lot of vegetables. And when I say a lot of vegetables I MEAN a LOT of VEGETABLES.  
  
I sat down at the table and was handed a knife and a few bowls to put the cut vegetables in. Then I was left alone ot have at it. I realized when I started to cut the green things that my hands were still shaking from last night. It was weird that they hadn't quite stopped yet. At least my bodies shaking had stopped. I just hoped that my hands would be steady enough to do this so I didn't acidentally cut something that I might need off.  
  
And it wasn't exactly easy, but once I got the knife into the food my hand steadied a little and I could make fairly straight cuts. But after a while my hand started cramping up from holding the knife so tightly to help keep it still. I had to stop every so often to stretch and massage it a little before going back to cutting.  
  
Adalina checked up on me once in a while to see how I was doing and to give me hints. Thankfully she didn't notice my shaking, and if she did she didn't mention it. And then (quite surprisingly if you ask me) I was finished. All the cut vegetables were in bowls, ready to be cooked or stored. And then Adalina was by my side and telling me what to do with them.  
  
Who knew cooking could be such a pain in the butt. Especially when it was only vegetables! I hate vegetables. Especially cauliflower. Nasty ass stuff, cauliflower. Gave me the willies.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Faulkner: Voila! There's chapter fourteen for ya'll! The song was "Stupid Girl" by Cold. It sounds a lot cooler and longer than it looks on screen though. Weird. Aaaaaaaaand, I finished the Silmarillion! EAT THAT TOLKIEN! I just hope I don't forget any of the imprtant stuff. I always seem to forget some imprtant detail.... 


	17. Surprise Letters

Faulkner: Okey dokey pokey's. I've had a couple of good questions that I feel I should answer, though I can't remember who asked them. So sorry about that, but i'm feeling particularly lazy at the moment.  
  
There was one about her healing abilities. While yes, her abilities are like the Elves, but kick in much faster, she is still susceptible to illness and scars. And while I do know that a few Elves have the power to heal others (Elrond and Galadriel to my knowledge, and probably some others that i'm forgetting) i'm not sure if ALL Elves can heal minor injuries such as scrapes and bruises. Tolkien wasn't to specific on this, and if he was, where the hell was I?  
  
As to the particular time that this is taking place in relation to the LOTR trilogy and War of the Ring, this is roughly, ROUGHLY mind you, ten years before the Hobbits meet Strider in Bree. So Bilbo still has the Ring. Aragorn's mother has recently died, and Gandalf visits Frodo for the last time.  
  
Oh, and Hanya, dun worry girl. We haven't seen the last of Cai! He'll be back later. And that reminds me of the California mayor thingy with Arnold S. What the HELL WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!? You know the world has flipped it's lid when actors are taking over the government.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was past lunch-time. A couple of hours to be precise. But who's being precise? Preciseness is for the preps. Hey, that kinda rhymes! Never was too good at poetry, never could rhyme that well. But when i'm not trying to rhyme, I do! How twisted is that? Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Literally.  
  
I was baking. Seriously, no lie. I was mixing dough. They didn't trust me enough to knead and shape it, so I was placed the task of stirring the stuff. It was not exactly the best job in the world. I would honestly rather be cutting vegetables than stirring bread. Beggars can't be choosers though, to quote somebody that I don't even know the name of.  
  
Stirring. Like I said, not exactly the best job. My arms were tired. At this rate, I would have muscles the size of Shwarzeneggers by next week. Ain't that a thought. I would probably look like a girl version of Popeye, which isn't a very nice mental picture. I was funky enough looking already, didn't need meself to look any weirder.  
  
One of the kitchen maids walked over to me and gestured towards the bowl I was stirring the dough up in. I took my big wooden spoon out (it seriously was big, big enough to hold at least a cup and a half of water) and gave her the bowl. She walked off to go knead the stuff that would soon be part of our supper. Cooking was sort of satisfying, but man, I wasn't cut out for it.  
  
"Catch me as I fall  
  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
  
This truth drives me  
  
Into madness  
  
I know I can stop the pain  
  
If I will it all away."  
  
I was barely even singing. It was more like muttering to myself to a tune. Nevertheless, I was actually singing around a kitchenful of Elves. I truly had gone mad. I was singing to myself while working in a kitchen because I got in a fight in a wood in a world that wasn't even supposed to exist. Oh yeah, I was just lovin' this.  
  
"Don't turn away  
  
(Don't give in to the pain)  
  
Don't try to hide  
  
(Though they're screaming your name)  
  
Don't close your eyes  
  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
  
Don't turn out the light  
  
(Never sleep, never die)"  
  
In the morning all this madness would be over and I would wakeup in the room I shared with Nattie and hear her whining about the crappy food at the Institute and how she wanted her Bubby and blah blah blah. But it would be disappointing if I did wakeup tomorrow and find out that this had all been a dream. Life threw me the screwiest curve balls that not even Gonzalez could hit. And he was a pretty damn good baseball player.  
  
"I'm frightened by what I see  
  
But somehow I know  
  
That there's much more to come  
  
Immobilized by my fear  
  
And soon to be  
  
Blinded by tears  
  
I can stop the pain  
  
If I will it all away"  
  
I wonder how the Elves would react if they found themselves one day in the Institute. I would love to see their faces if that happened. They really would be thought crazy if they told the orderlies that they were immortal Elves. 'And i'm Tinkerbell' one of the orderlies would say back, or something to that affect. It would really crack me up. But I wouldn't wish them to reaally be stuck there.  
  
"Don't turn away  
  
(Don't give in to the pain)  
  
Don't try to hide  
  
(Though they're screaming your name)  
  
Don't close your eyes  
  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
  
Don't turn out the light  
  
(Never sleep, never die)"  
  
I redoubled my efforts and stirred harder. My arms were turning into grape jelly. I had a feeling that they would be practically useless tomorrow, which wouldn't be a good thing under any circumstances. For one, Haldir would be pissed at my lack of strength and that would just prove to him that I was a weakling. There would go all my hard work, kaput! Right out the blasted window. Metaphorically speaking of course, since the only windows around here were in the flets in the trees.  
  
"Fallen angels at my feet  
  
Whispered voices at my ear  
  
Death before my eyes  
  
Lying next to me I fear  
  
She beckons me  
  
Shall I give in  
  
Upon my end shall I begin  
  
Forsaking all I've fallen for  
  
I rise to meet my end."  
  
I wonder what Taylin would think of my position. He'd probably laugh himself to tears until the orderlies came along and strapped him to the bed and left him there for awhile. That kinda irked me, knowing that he would just laugh and not really give any serious thought to it. But that was how he operated, so to speak. Taylin Dean couldn't be serious until it stared him dead in the face.  
  
"Don't turn away  
  
(Don't give in to the pain)  
  
Don't try to hide  
  
(Though they're screaming your name)  
  
Don't close your eyes  
  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
  
Don't turn out the light  
  
(Never sleep, never die)"  
  
One of the workers came and took my bowl and gave me a funny look before returning to where she came from. Another one then stuck another bowl full of ingredients ready to be stirred and also gave me a funny look before leaving me to my work. Ah, the little sneaks must have heard me. Figures. Unfair advantages just aren't fair. Makes almost no sense, huh?  
  
But if things made sense, then life wasn't any interesting. The joy.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I was shuffling my deck for the tenth time tonight. I was confined to my room for a whole month as well as part of my punishment. I was only allowed to leave for lessons, supper (I took lunch and breakfast at my flet cause of the whole training gig), and leaving to go to the kitchens.  
  
Problems again, though. I didn't want to fall asleep. The memory of my last dream had come down on me unexpectedly when I had at last returned. I was scared half to death about meeting Him again. It wasn't an ecounter that I particularly relished. He was the only man that I couldn't help but fear. You would too if you met the guy, even in a dream.  
  
"Well fuck it!" I swore softly. "Screw punishments. When have I ever listened to them? I need out!"  
  
I slammed the deck on my table and grabbed my hoodie off its hook next to the door and put it on. I was going out, and it was a little nippy outside. I figured it must be nearing Fall or something. And it was only just turned Summer back at the Institute. Huh, different dimension, different seasons, different everything.  
  
I nearly flew down the steps and jogged towards the clearing that I usually met Orophin at in the mornings. It was a lovely clearing and from what I understood, not visited too often. Also it had a little more holes in the canopy than any other place I had seen. Maybe I would be able to see the stars. I rarely ever got to see the stars, especially when the sky was distorted by pollution.  
  
I looked up and could see some of the stars, barely a dozen. I wanted to see more of them though. I was feeling rather bold tonight I guess, so I started to climb one of the great trees with smooth bark. I had forgotten what they were called.  
  
I scrambled up the tree, getting a couple of scrapes that disappeared in a matter of a minute or so, towards the top. And ever so slowly as I got farther and farther towards the top, the trunk got a little thinner, but the foliage thicker. It felt like forever to me, climbing up it. It might have been for all I cared.  
  
And then suddenly I was at the top. I could tell the one I was in was one of the smaller ones. The air was in my face and bit into my skin with the sharp cold of it all. Lothlorien was spread out before me and I could see the great trees climbing up the little valley the city was held in. To my right was the shadow of a mountain range that looked a little bit threatening, but I paid it no mind.  
  
All Heaven's Field was above me and the stars reminded me of little crystals in the sky. It was gorgeous. I may have been a tough little cookie, but I could still enjoy the finer things in life like star-gazing. After all, everybody needed a little beauty in their life, even in mine.  
  
I cocked my head to the right a little and smiled. I felt peaceful for a change. It felt nice. So I found a comfortable (as comfortable as one could be in a tree without being a monkey) limb and laid down. A few leaves obstructed my vision but overall I could see the sky perfectly.  
  
"Where once was light  
  
Now darkness falls  
  
Where once was love  
  
Love is no more  
  
Don't say - goodbye  
  
Don't say - I didn't try....  
  
These tears we cry  
  
Are falling rain  
  
For all the lies  
  
You told us  
  
The hurt, the blame!"  
  
I subconciously rubbed my knuckles, remembering the craziness that had took me that night and nearly made me maim myself.  
  
"And we will weep  
  
To be so alone  
  
We are lost!  
  
We can never go home  
  
So in the end  
  
I will be - what I will be  
  
No loyal friend  
  
Was ever there for me  
  
Now we say - goodbye  
  
We say - you didn't try  
  
These tears you cry  
  
Have come too late  
  
Take back the lies  
  
The hurt, the blame!  
  
And you will weep  
  
When you face the end alone  
  
You are lost!  
  
You can never go home."  
  
I sighed and half-closed my eyes. I was starting to feel just the tiniest bit drowsy, but I wasn't going to fall into the deceivingly comfortable lull that was sleepiness. No way, not me, not tonight. I would stay up all night if I had to.  
  
"Such melancholy for one so young. Haldir was right, you are a puzzle."  
  
I sat straight up and nearly fell off my branch if I hadn't caught myself in time. I looked around wildly for the sly dog that had snuck up on me and hoped I could get out of possibly more trouble. A shadowy form extracted itself from the leaves and limbs that had so sufficiently hid him.  
  
"Forgive me, milady. I had no intention to startle you so." Well, if it wasn't the love interest. Just wonderful. Here comes the part where he whistles for Haldir and I get a good yelling at and will probably be dragged away to my flet by my ear. I had had that happen once, and let me tell you something. Being pulled by the ear doesn't feel particularly good. In fact, it hurts like a bitch.  
  
"Uh, yeah, it's okay." I said. Bloody meddling Princes. There always there, whether you need them or not.  
  
"May I ask as to why you are out at this time of night? I seem to remember that you were confined to your quarters for a month." he cocked an eyebrow andd looked at me questioningly.  
  
"Yeah, um, well.... I couldn't sleep." I nervously scratched the back of my head and sat up straight on my branch.  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Yeah." Why did he make me feel so nervous? Only Haldir could do this to me, and only when he was in a certain mood that I really couldn't put a name to.  
  
We just stared at each other for a bit before I started to climb back down the tree. He wordlessly followed me and seemed a lot more at home in the trees than I did. Damn Elves and their grace. Just ain't fair, I tell ya!  
  
I hopped off the last branch and landed fairly well if I do say so myself. Certainly not with the same grace that Legolas had, but I did do a good job and didn't embarass myself too bad. I started back to my flet, and he was STILL following me. Was he like turning stalker or something? Or did he not trust me to head back to my flet without a chaperone? Figures, don't trust the foreign kid that can barely speak English correctly, let alone Elvish. Why me?!  
  
I started up my ladder when his hand stopped me. I turned around a faced him. Was he going to lecture me now or something? Was now the time to beg for mercy?  
  
"Narya, would you do me a favor?" Well, that was unexpected. I just nodded dumbly. "Could you give this to Haldir?" He pulled a letter, sealed with wax, from some hidden pocket and held it out for me to take.  
  
"Pardon my stupidity, but why can't you give it to him?" I asked, while taking the letter.  
  
"Because my companions and myself are leaving for Mirkwood. We have done our job. Besides, if you do this for me, I shall not tell him or the Lady about your little 'escapade'." And with that, he disappeared among the trees and their little paths. I stared down at the letter and noted that the wax had an imprint of a leaf of some sort. It wasn't the kind of leaves that grew on the trees here, but some other kind.  
  
"Well shiver me timbers." I muttered. "This has got to be one of the weirdest nights of my life." I shook my head and stuck the letter in my hoodie pocket and climbed the ladder. "And confusing."  
  
I changed into my pj's and just lay in bed for a while, thinking over the day which was by no means a regular thing for me. After coming to the conclusion that Elves were a really puzzling race, I decided to at least try to sleep and hope that I wasn't plagued by nightmares.  
  
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best, as the saying goes.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: Songs in order of appearance: "Whisper" by Evanescence (I FINALLY burned the CD from a friend) and "Gollum's Song" from the Two Towers soundtrack. They're both kick ass songs, so I recommend listening to them. NOW! After reviewing though. But Tourniquet, Going Under, and Hello are actually my favorite Evanescence songs. Not necessarily in that order.  
  
Pinky: ::rolls eyes:: Uh-huh.....  
  
Faulkner: Quiet fool! 


	18. Broken and Bedridden

Faulkner: Sorry if it seems a little weird about halfway through. My nerves are kind of fried at the moment I was writing this. A kid in my class (not really a friend of mine, but a good aquaintance) had a seizure during math. Just fell out of his desk and started shivering like he was cold or something. Went all stiff and shook for awhile, with Mr.Wilder holding his head so he wouldn't bang it on the tile. After it, he was really pale (even though he had this dark tan, like Mexicans and people from India) and he was all limp. He had made some really disturbing choking sounds after he had stopped shaking, so you can imagine that it was pretty scary.  
  
Whew. Thanks, just had to get that out. I'm still just a little shaky when I think about it. Thankfully, it was a mild one and the first one he'd had in three years 'cause he forgot his medication this morning. But he's supposed to be back to normal by tomorrow, though he probably won't come to school because of embarassment.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Well, Narya. Are you ready to try riding again?"  
  
I looked at Herumor, complacently chewing some oats and staring back at me. I swear, that horse had it in for me.  
  
"Do I hafta?" I whined. I really wasn't looking forward to this. There was a million and one things that I could think of just off the top of my head that were better than this.  
  
"Yes. You need to learn how to ride. Just about every Elf in Lorien knows how to ride!"  
  
"My mum always told me that I shouldn't do something just because someone else did it too." I replied. God, now how did I remember that? That was a loooooong time ago. Surprised I can even remember their faces, let alone what they've said to me....  
  
"Well, your mother isn't here at the moment and I doubt she ever will get here." He frowned down at me. First time I ever saw him frown before. "Now, you will get on that horse, and you WILL learn!" He pointed at Herumor and glared at me. Sighing, I dragged my feet as I walked towards the stallion.  
  
I bet I looked like I was off to the gallows or something. I definitely wasn't looking forward to this. Not one bit. I stood next to him and gulped. I was having one of those cartoon moments where the height was exagerrated and the saddle seemed to be up in the clouds. Yep. My imagination could get the better of me. No, I hadn't taken anything funky earlier.  
  
Appearing out of nowhere, a stable groom approached Telepcoire and whispered in his ear. Then he stepped back and glanced at me and the horse.  
  
Telepcoire sighed and muttered back to the groom beefore turning his attention to me. "I am needed somewhere else. Sonyare will watch over you while i'm gone. When I get back, I want to see you on that horse, ready to ride. I shouldn't be long." And then he started off and disappeared into the stable.  
  
"Joy." I grumbled. I glanced nervously at the strange Elf and briefly wondered if he was safe or not. Ah, well. We were surrounded by Elves, so nothing too bad would happen and go unnoticed. At least, I hoped.  
  
"Well," I sighed, "It's all or nothing." I stuck my foot in the stirrup and hauled myself into the saddle. Thankfully I was the right direction , so I was spared some humiliation.  
  
"Well, that wasn't so bad now, was it Herumor? We'll just sit tight until Telepcoire gets back." I patted his neck and tried to stay as still as possible on his back. The last thing that I needed at the moment was to have another accident like the last one. That hadn't been very fun at all.  
  
I got bored and started picking at my nails. I usually chewed them when I was nervous if I wasn't cracking my knuckles. I heard that cracking your knuckles is supposed to give you arthritis when you're older. Since I heard that, i've tried to stop doing it so much. I'd prefer to be able to use my hands when i'm like, eighty-two or something. I remember when I was really little and still living with my "parents" and we visited my granny. Her knuckles had been all knotted up and her fingers had been curled in. I remember that she could barely open them at all.  
  
That had been kinda freaky. I've never been very comfortable around very old people. They just creeped me out for some odd reason. That was another bad thing about the Institute. Most of the supposed patients had been either middle-aged or old geezers with false teeth and drugged out of their minds on medication. Even though they scared me sort of, I still felt sorry for the poor old farts. Us younger ones could at least take care of ourselves and puke the stuff back up once we could get into a bathroom (unless of course it was an injection, which they almost always used on me since they kept catching me puking the pills back up).  
  
I heard a charp crack and suddenly Herumor just totally flipped out. I was jerked out of my thoughts as he started to frantically buck. I nearly fell off, but tightened my grip on the reins and threaded my fingers in his mane.  
  
Needless to say, I was holding on for dear life.  
  
He jumped, kicked, twisted like the best contortionist and acted like a thing possesed by a demon. He even tried to bite my leg a couple of times, but he missed both times thank God.  
  
Elves started shouting and there were four of them trying to calm him down and possibly lasso him. I wasn't even going to try to stop him, despite the instructions that some of the Elves were yelling at me in poor English. I snorted and thought to myself 'Fuck that!' I was going to survive and to do that, I was going to literally ride this out. It didn't really help matters that I was feeling nauseous.  
  
Faces were swirling and I was going up, down, up, down, quick whirl and twist, up, twist, down again, snap at Elves, up again. Someone get me OFF THIS RIDE!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!  
  
Then as suddenly as it started, it stopped.  
  
I lost my grip and was tossed to the ground. I couldn't have been sure since my brains had been thoroughly swished about, but I thought I heard a crunch when I landed and a sickening thud. I saw lots of blond hair before I blacked out.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
It was a headache to end all headaches. A migraine to end all migraines. It was pain, pure and simple, centered right in my head. No matter how soft whoever it was was talking, it made it hurt worse. I would've told them to shut the hell up if I could have mustered up the strength to do it. Frankly, I hurt too much to even speak.  
  
There was one thing I could do though. I opened my eyes (they were watering very slightly but not enough to be taken as crying) and my sight was a bit blurry. I could still make out that I was someplace new.  
  
A blond Elf was whispering to what must have been her assistant and wrapping up something. I think it was my left arm, but couldn't be sure by my position and that everything but my head was numb. She occaisonally glanced at me and I think she took note that I was somewhat awake.  
  
I gently bit my tongue to try to stimulate some spit into my mouth so I could speak. I felt like I was back in the desert of my hometown, running in the heat with no water fountain in sight.  
  
"Aspirin. Tylenol. Morphine. Now." I managed before my mouth dried out again. This was not fun, not one bit. Was I finally dying or something? Nope, not yet something told me.  
  
All this thinking was making my head hurt worse so I tried to stop and just observed. I didn't observe much though because my eyes were starting to hurt too, so I closed them and drifted into a "limbo" if you will. I didn't really think, but didn't really fall asleep either. I was sort of aware of what was going on around me, and yet not really connecting the sounds to anything.  
  
I felt someone touch my cheek so I opened my eyes. The same blond Elf that was helping me was standing there with a cup in her hand. With a simple, "drink" she gently lifted my head up and brought the cup to my lips. Whatever it was tasted good and my headbanging lessened somewhat.  
  
"Worst luck in the world." I muttered so softly I was sure not even she could hear. I think she did hear and understand because I saw the slightest grin lift the corner of perfect lips before I had to close my aching eyes again. And then I started the weird limbo drifting thing.  
  
Or maybe I actually took a short nap because when I opened my eyes again Haldir and Telepcoire were both there, talking softly with the nice lady that had given me the headache medicine. I tried to sit up a bit so I could talk to them properly and used my apparently broken arm. So I groaned and just fell the couple inches back into my nice, soft, warm mattress.  
  
They turned to me and my two favorite Elves decided to visit a bit.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Telepcoire asked anxiously.  
  
"Peachy." I muttered. My mouth was the Sahara still. The nice lady obliging tilted my head up a bit and brought a cup of water to my mouth. I drank the whole thing down and let out a very satisfying 'aaaahhhh'.  
  
"I'm very sorry for what happened. Herumor doesn't react well to loud cracking noises. You could say it's from past childhood experiences." He did look really sorry for what happened.  
  
"I would say no harm no foul, but my arm and head are saying the complete opposite." I replied. He visibly brightened at that. "Now worries, i'm not made out of glass. Though this will hurt like a bitch for awhile. I have a bad feeling that this is going to set me back a whole lot."  
  
Haldir scowled. "Yes. At this rate you'll never learn anything."  
  
"I will too. I just won't be able to do much activity stuff. I can still learn."  
  
"Learning can be vastly overrated." Only guys who thought they were big and bad said stupid crap like that. But then again, this was stick-up-the-ass. He was an arrogant bastard, but an occaisonally lovable one. Hell, he did have a boyfriend after all! Boy, did that sound wrong.....  
  
"Well. Ain't you all that and a bag of chips. Mister tough guy, big man, the godfather of the Godfather. Those were some cool flicks right there......" There I go again, getting off track. Sometimes my brain was faster than my mouth. Like some mental foot wouldn't let off on the gas and never used the brakes until it was too late and ka-BOOM! Crash, disaster, pain, humiliation.....  
  
"What are you talking about? 'All that and a bag of chips'? 'Godfather of the Godfather'?" Score one to Narya, Haldir zero.  
  
"Haven't you ever had potato chips? Eh, no, you wouldn't. Mash potatos that taste like corn beef, chicken like pork chops, but no sour cream and onion potato chips. The next thing you'll be telling me is that you guys don't have peanut butter!" I laughed. These people didn't know what they were missing!  
  
Telepcoire glanced at Haldir and grinned. "I'm not quite sure what you're talking about, but no. We don't have any 'peanut butter'." My jaw literally dropped.  
  
NO PEANUT BUTTER?!?!?! BLASPHEMY!!!  
  
I groaned. "No peanut....? This..... just really sucks at the moment. I hope I never have to have my tonsils removed here, because there won't be any ice-cream to help." I deadpanned. My luck, was at an all-time low.  
  
"You'll be moved back to your talan tomorrow. You're intelectual lessons will continue there, and what can be taught without need of physical work will be taught to you in your other areas of study. I don't want you to get too far behind." Haldir stood and nodded a goodbye to myself and Telepcoire.  
  
When he was halfway out the door, it hit me.  
  
"Shit. Haldir! Wait up!" I tried to sit up again in my urgency but Telepcoire pushed me back down.  
  
He turned in the doorway and looked at me.  
  
"There's something that I was supposed to give you. It's...." Where did I put that letter? Dammit, where was the freakin' letter?! Let me think, let me think. Went inside, put hoodie on hook, took off shoes and put them in corner..... "In my room, under the..... left side of my mattress there's a letter adressed to you. I was gonna give it to you personally, but the circumstances have prevailed."  
  
He looked a little confused at this, but just nodded and left.  
  
"A letter? From whom?" my horse teacher asked.  
  
"Aaahhh. Can't say i'm afraid. Noneya business, and frankly none of mine either. I wouldn't ahve known about it if it weren't for I was the messenger." I told him. Haldir may have a bitchy side, but I shouldn't be spreading things about him getting letters from Legolas. Who knows how these people thought.  
  
He studied me for a few seconds and nodded acceptance. "Whatever you say. I'll ask him myself when I get the chance."  
  
Whew! How easily I slip by these things. Maybe my luck was getting slightly better.  
  
"How long am I gonna be out of commission?" I asked him.  
  
"Eight weeks."  
  
I swear that they could hear my scream all the way out to the borders. It certainly felt like it anyway.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Faulkner: Sorry if this seems short to ya'll, but the infinite powers (i.e. school) didn't really give me much free time. to work with. Science projects, bad weather (bad weather always gets me in a bad mood for writing, no clue why), and my mom hogging the computer were against me. And then my busdrivers switched and the whole world is screwing with me. Oh, yeah, and IT'S REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY FUCKING COLD!!!!  
  
::ahem::  
  
Pardon my language but I had to get that out. Thank you. And guess what? MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THANKSGIVING!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! LOOK AT ME NOW, SUCKAS!!!! Woops, sorry! But i'm E-X-C-I-T-E-D!!!! 


	19. I'll Practice When I Wanna!

Faulkner: So sorry for the wait, but I had shopping and Mom was using the internet for all kinds of shopping and business crap. Couldn't be helped. Here's a late Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Oh yeah, and asterisks inside parentheses (*) mean a flashback  
  
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"Haldir is going to kill me when he finds out about this."  
  
"No he's not. Because if he finds out he's going to kill ME first and then it's your turn."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure of that. After all, I AM supposed to be looking after you."  
  
"You're not a damn baby-sitter and he's not your boss so that's all just BS."  
  
A sigh and he rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say."  
  
"That's better. Now buck up! The only way he's going to find out is if we get caught."  
  
"Which is very likely."  
  
"You're such a pessimist." I dead panned.  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"A person who always thinks negatively. Y'know, someone who sees the glass as half-empty instead of half-full."  
  
"......."  
  
Sigh. "Nevermind." I tripped over a root.  
  
"Careful, there's a tree root there."  
  
"Thanks for the heads up." I grumbled as I dusted off my knees.  
  
"Your welcome." he cheerfully replied.  
  
In case you didn't already know, Orophin and myself were outside in the middle of the night. Why, you ask? Well, as I predicted after my wallowing in self-pity after I found out how long it would take for my broken arm to heal, I was perfectly fine after three weeks. Needless to say I had been bored nearly to tears while I had been confined to my room for most of those three weeks. And when I had told Haldir that my arm was perfectly fine, all healed up, he hadn't believed me and said that I wasn't to try anything yet.  
  
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)  
  
"The healers said eight weeks and that's how long you will have to wait."  
  
"But Haldir I'M FINE! My arm is FINE. I can use it without feeling anything weird!"  
  
"Eight weeks Narya. Eight weeks." Then he stalked off and I stomped my foot on the floor like a child. Mature, right?  
  
(*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)  
  
I shook my head and concentrated on where we were going. Last thing I needed was to trip again and alert some Elf that I was out. Stick-up-the- ass had had informed the whole of Caras Galadhon that I was to not leave my talan without him and I wasn't allowed out at night. Bastard.  
  
So here I was sneaking about with Orophin. The reason? I wanted to get back to my knife training. Granted Orophin wasn't the best decision for this (no offence meant to him), but since he was the only one that I could convince to help me, I had to do with him.  
  
We reached the training grounds, which was completely empty since it was nighttime, and headed straight for the weapons hut. Just my luck that it was locked.  
  
"I thought you people were all noble and too high and mighty to steal?" I whispered.  
  
"Yes, but this is just here for safety precautions. To make sure that nothing gets taken as a prank or, Eru forbid, that any visitors do not take what isn't theirs. I guess we'll just have to go back." He turned to leave but I grabbed the back of his tunic and yanked him back.  
  
"No way Jose. We're not done here yet. I happen to have the universal key to all locks." I rummaged around in my hoodie pocket and pulled out a metal piece that had the same properties of a paperclip in that it could be bent fairly easily and you could pick locks with it.  
  
He raised one of his dark brows and stared disbelievingly at it. "Are you kidding? That is no key but a piece of discarded metal."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "No shit Sherlock, what's your next clue?" I then stuck it into the lock and carefully started to pick it.  
  
He sighed and said, "This is a waste of time. Let's go back before we get caught and get into some very serious trouble. Haldir will not be pleased. Let's go back."  
  
I shook my head and gave the metal piece a last jiggle before the lock clicked and I could open the door. I stood up and opened the door, waving my arm exaggeratedly for Orophin to go first.  
  
"After you, my Lord." I snickered when he glared at me and went inside.  
  
"Get your knives and hurry up. I want to get this over with."  
  
I smirked and searched the hut until I found my pair and went outside where Orophin waited for me.  
  
"Let's see what you've learned first."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------  
  
I tried, very unsuccessfully, to pay attention to what Sirith was saying. I mean, he was teaching me how to speek and understand Elvish. Then i'd be able to know what people were saying behind my back. It would be harder for them to hide stuff from me. But honestly, he made all this sound so boring. Even the most gory and bloody battle he could make sound dull.  
  
I wondered what that letter had said. Haldir had probably thrown it away or burnt it by now. It was probably a bunch of mush from his beloved though. Yeck, it would be like reading one of those sappy romance novels Terry read. I had no idea how he had gotten in the Institution. The only weird thing about him was that he occaisonally talked to himself. You were only crazy when you started answering back.  
  
I jerked back to reality when he shoved a piece of parchment at me.  
  
"I expect you to practice and just to make sure you don't have an excuse I copied the words down for you and their meaning." I nodded and took the parchment. True enough, it was all written down. I unrolled it and found out that it wasn't A piece of parchment, but at least five pages.  
  
"Jiminy Christmas." I muttered. Sirith was thankfully already out of earshot. I swear that Elf would have made a perfect General for some army. He was merciless and left absolutely no hope to the opposition. In a way I was happy that I had all this to occupy my time. At least I wouldn't be bored to tears until midnight.  
  
I grinned as I thought about more practice with Orophin. I had convinced him to get me again tonight. Thank you Lord that he was an absolute pushover if you knew exactly what buttons to push.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Well, now I know to never try to fight against you." Orophin commented from his position in the dirt.  
  
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I was better than him (which wouldn't be happening any time soon). It's just that I used some very...... deceitful tactics. He had been very close to putting me in the dirt, so after dropping one knife I had grabbed his left knife hand that was coming for me and used something that I like to call pressure points.  
  
No matter if you are Elf, Man, Dwarf, Wizard, or whatever pressure points hurt a LOT. Especially the one on your wrist over the wrist-bones if you apply pressure just so. If there was one thing that the orderlies had taught me was pressure points. But not on purpose. I just caught on to what they were doing after a while and tried it on myself and other patients. Discreetly of course.  
  
Anyway, after he had dropped his knife I went for the pressure point on his shoulder (which worked) and knocked his other knife out of his hand and kicked his feet out from under him. Yes, dirty tricks, but very effective as I had just demonstrated.  
  
"Thanks. Glad I got your approval." I held out my hand and had him halfway up when someone's voice startled me into dropping him.  
  
"I thought you weren't supposed to fight? At least not for another four weeks or so."  
  
"Lord Celeborn!!" Can you say 'Busted?'  
  
He was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and apparently had been there for a while. I wouldn't have exactly called him angry, but more..... amused I guess and slightly reproachful. One piece of advice: If you are going to do something bad or against the rules, make sure you don't get caught.  
  
"Orophin, best you replace those weapons and leave for your talan." Celeborn said.  
  
"Yes my lord." Orophin bowed and left me alone. With Celeborn. Coward.  
  
I shuffled my feet and looked everywhere but at him. I even started to nervously whistle some obscure tune. I think it was the Harry Potter theme. Couldn't be too sure since I had only ever seen the movie once. Whatever it was was quite catchy.  
  
"I see that your arm isn't as damaged as it should be at this stage of healing." Celeborn walked forward and stood in front of me. "But I guess that is to be expected. Galadriel did say that you should heal in half the time." He uncrossed his arms and took my arm that would still have been broken if I had been a normal person.  
  
He felt along where the break had been. I had been told that although it had been a clean break (thankfully) one of the broken sides had been pushed so that it was over the other. Erego, there had been a sort of...... dip in my arm. I had seen something like it before, and it wasn't a pretty sight. I'm glad I had passed out.  
  
"Yeah, it's okay now. It doesn't really hurt at all anymore. I tried to tell Haldir, but he wouldn't listen to me." I had taken off the splint to practice. The night before I had done the same thing and then had Orophin replace it. Granted he didn't do the best job in the world, but it looked fine enough to me.  
  
Celeborn nodded and let go of my arm, which I let fall to my side.  
  
"I don't want to catch you practicing out here alone with Orophin. It would be dangerous if something were to happen and it were only you two. This area is fairly remote, and it would take a little while to get help. That's why no one practices at night, because if something happened there would be no one else around to help." He looked straight into my eyes. "I will talk to Haldir tomorrow."  
  
I nodded, feeling I had come very close to getting punished again and had barely shaved past it. I felt lucky for a change.  
  
"Now I want you to return to your talan and clean up, then go to bed." I nodded again and headed in the direction of my new home. But then I stopped at the tree line and looked back at Celeborn.  
  
"I was pretty good for a beginner, wasn't I?" I asked with a grin.  
  
I heard him chuckle, but didn't see it as he was facing away from me. "Yes, you were not bad."  
  
Still grinning I headed back.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Faulkner: Like it? Hate it? REVIEW PLEASE!! I'd be very appreciative. Maybe I can get Narya to ship some hot Elfies here. Hmmmm......... Oh, the possibilities. ::cackles gleefully and rather evilly too:: 


	20. Truce and Lies

Faulkner: Yes, this took a looooooooong time. I had been writing it in bits and pieces during classes. You're all lucky Mister We're-all-lazy-bums-and- never-gonna-make-it-through-life-let-alone-his-class Wilder didn't catch me. He would have taken it, read it, and then thrown it away. Also, I'm rather slow at typing things off of paper. But here it is.  
  
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It had been a week since my last midnight practice with Orophin, and since then Celeborn (bless his immortal soul) had gotten Haldir to continue my training. Now I wasn't bored anymore and stuck inside to mostly study Elvish. Not that I didn't like the language (it was very pretty after all) it was just that it got rather dull after a few hours. Practicing the same words and sentences over and over and over again. It was bad enough that I had to stay inside pretty much all day. I mean, it was *only* a broken arm. yeesh, I wasn't made outta glass!  
  
And that night I couldn't sleep too well. I kept tossing and turning and I felt really hot, the room was stiffling. Finally I growled in frustration and tossed my covers off.  
  
"That's IT. I'm going for a walk!" I announced to the completely empty room. Yes, that was pointless, but boredom for a long time will do things to people.  
  
I put on my nice, warm hoodie since it would most likely be chilly outside, and my shoes before goign down the steps and stopping. I looked around and saw that most everybody else was already asleep. One of the things I found weird about Elves was that none of them were night-owls. None liked to stay up late and just walk around or do stuff.  
  
I started walking and didn't really pay much attention to where I was going, except for looking at the scenery. I hadn't really had much time to look around since I had gotten here. Most everyday I had to rush to make it to lessons on time.It was definitely different from the Institute in that aspect. We never had to rush because, well, there wasn't anyplace to go. We were cooped ip inside half the time, and only the 'trustworthy' and/or 'mellow' ones were allowed outside.  
  
I shook my head and grinned at myself. I sure was trying hard to get all depressed. I really needed to lighten up.  
  
I concentrated on the flora around me. The only things that I had really noticed were the trees. The mellyrn were giant, gray trunked, with branches that swept upwards at the end of the limbs. The leaves were always green, except in Autumn, where they turned gold. And they never really fell off the trees either. At least that's what Rumil told me. Either he's pullin' my leg, or it's the truth. And since this is a rather, ahem, magical place I'm inclined to actually believe him.  
  
Moving right along......  
  
Everything was green around here (except for the mellyrn turnks and branches). It looked to me like a veritable rainforest. All they were missing was the exotic animals and the vines trying to choke other plant life. Not to mention the rain, of course. Not that it didn't rain here, it most definitely did for everything to grow here as it did. i just hadn't *seen* it rain yet.  
  
I came out of my thoughts when I heard a noise. I looked around and realized suddenly where my feet had led me.  
  
Straight for the stables.  
  
I heard another noise, this one I recognized to be a horse whinny. What harm would it do if I just checked things out? just a quick look-see to make sure everything's going okay. Besides, the horses could do more harm to me than I could to them. Herumor sure did show me that.  
  
I cautiously opened the door and peeked my head inside. It was quiet now. I could see the vague outlines of buckets and horse noses sticking out of stalls. When one such horse suddenly snorted I just about jumped ten feet in the air. Dang equines had it in for me. It was a conspiracy.  
  
For lack of something better to do, I walked inside and left the door open some to let in a little light. Even so, I ran right into a lantern that was hanging on a hook.  
  
"Son of a....." I rubbed my forehead, glaring at the guilty lantern. Then an idea hit me, just like the lantern had. "Genius, Einstein. Why didn't I think of it before?"  
  
I carefully pulled the lantern off it's hook (those things were deceitfully light-looking) and set it on the ground. I rubbed my hands together gleefully and ever so gently pulled the glass case off. I touched the top of the wick, concentrated a little.... and voila! We have light!  
  
I put the glass over it again and went over and shut the stable door. With my luck somebody would think I was a thief and shoot me or run me through with one of those wicked-looking swords. Just thinking about those things gave me the heeby-jeebies. To think what some grade A psycho could do if he got his hands on one of them. Not that it was very likely.  
  
i picked up the lantern and walked odnw the aisle of the stalls. Whenever I peeked inside one, the horse was asleep with eyes half-shut and a hind leg slack. None of them woke when I shined a light inside, and I think that's a good thing. Not that I was going around putting a bright light in all of their eyes. i mean, how would I like it if someone walked into my talan and stuck a lantern in my face? That would be pretty rude. I may be sorta frightened of horses, but that didn't mean I didn't respect them.  
  
I abruptly stepped in front of a familiar stall. I heard a snort, then a stomp come from within. I slowly turned and shined the lantern inside so I could get a better look.  
  
Herumor was staring straight at me. His dark eyes seemed to nearly swallow all the light. His coat was darker than the shadows themselves. It was all together a very freaky sight. I might've wet my pants if I had accidentally come upon him in some dark forest someplace.  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him and glared. This damn horse tossed me, scared me half to death, and..... and something else, but I'm so mad at him I can't think of it at the moment.  
  
"You an me are gonna have a talk, mister." I pointed at his face. "You tossed me off and made me break my arm. Haldir just about had hissy-fit over it." I cocked my head to one side and sorta smiled. "Though it was kinda nice that he cared. He came to visit me a few times." and then I went off into La-La Land for a minute or so.  
  
I shook my head and got myself back into the present.  
  
"Now, you listen up. I want to get a few things straight with you. We're gonna be working together for a while, and I would appreciate it if a few changes were made." He snorted and pawed at the ground. "Like THAT! You're grown up for Pete's sake! An adult! I'm the only one around here that's allowed to cop an attitude." He shook his head and snorted again.  
  
I threw up an arm and set the lantern on a nearby hook. "You're hopeless. I *try* to start a truce with ya, but noooo." I crossed my arms and glared at him.  
  
"You're despicable." I growled. "And that's NOT meant as a compliment either."  
  
Herumor stuck his head over the stall door and, I swear to the Valar, he *grinned* at me. Grinned! The horse had the nerve to GRIN! And might I insert that those teeth really needed to be brushed, and bleached, and a few tic-tacs wouldn't go astray. Hell, maybe a couple of the little box thingys would be better.  
  
"You're hopeless." I deadpanned. "Absolutely, completely, hopelessly hopeless. And most likely proud of it, ain'tcha?" He nickered. I plopped myself down on a nearby bale of hay across from his stall. I stared at him. He stared back. The flame of the lantern flickered and made strange shadows on the walls, ceiling, and floor. One of Herumor's ears twitched.  
  
"Boo."  
  
I jumped off the bale of hay and made a strange gurgling noise. I guess I had tried to scream or smoething, but I don't scream. Screaming was for sissies, and a sissy I was not. I prided myself in not screaming when everybody else was losing their voice in terrror.  
  
Nope, I did not scream. But I nearly pissed my pants. It was not much better than screaming, I guess. But at least nobody knew about it unless there was a wet spot in your pants. Always remember, yellow in front, brown in back. And I bet that was just too much information, ne? Just don't puke *your* guts out and start screaming. Heh heh.  
  
Getting back on topic, I landed fairly well on the ground (with dry pants for those curious few). I whirled around, ready to either slap kick or punch whoever the wise-guy was, and there he was standing with a sadistic grin and his arms cross.  
  
Haldir. Bloody stick-up-the-ass.  
  
"Well, well, well. Who do we have here? Going to try some midnight horse- riding as well?" Incidentally, Celeborn had told him about my practicing at night. Thankfully, my pleading and groveling with him prior to this had convinced him not to spill the beans on who my accomplice was. For that Orophin was extremely grateful, and willing to do anything to repay the debt. Some very strange thoughts came to mind at that, but I kept my yap shut.  
  
"Go stuff yourself." I stuck my tongue out at him. "I couldn't sleep again tonight."  
  
"And you think the horses will you a lullaby?" he asked.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "I don't think I'll reply to that comment."  
  
He shrugged. "Suit yourself." He watched me for a few seconds.  
  
"What? Something on my face?" I brushed my hand over my face and looked at it. Nope, nothing. "Got a staring problem or what?"  
  
"Why can't you sleep during the nights? You're awake more than you sleep. You could go to the healers and get something to help you sleep."  
  
"No." I replied quickly. "A person should be able to go to sleep on their own. It's not natural to have to drink some nasty stuff to have to sleep." I shivered.  
  
I remembered the needles, the restraints. I remembered the darkness that would creep up out of nowhere and slowly plunge me into nothing. I remember waking up in the mornings in a cold sweat, straining at my bindings. I remember that I *couldn't* remember much of what had happened before except for a menacing face and a thin needle, the liquid softly glowing in the moonlight streaming in from the window.  
  
I snapped back to reality when Haldir put a hand on my shoulder and lightly shook me.  
  
"Narya? Narya, are you all right?"  
  
I stepped out of his grasp and nodded.  
  
"Yeah. Fine. Just peachy." Herumor whickered and nudged my shoulder with his velvety soft nose. I turned around and slowly started to pet it.  
  
"What's this? A change of heart? I knew I could change your mind." I told him softly. "I always was a good negotiator. Taylin always said I could talk the birds outta the trees. But then again, Taylin was always a softy." I felt sad all of a sudden. "Taylin would've liked you. He had a thing for all sorts of animals. He was a critter kinda guy."  
  
It wasn't fair that I had gotten out, and the others didn't. What mentally unhinged ones there were, didn't deserve the treatment they got. It was a place that people wouldn't suspect of any funny business. And if they did, who would care? It was just a nut-house, a place where your average everyday psycho stayed for a long long time or for permanent.  
  
"What happened there?"  
  
Haldir spoke softly. I couldn't hear any of the usual sarcasm or snarkiness in his voice. This was the Haldir I knew from the waterfall.  
  
"A lot of crazy shit. Stuff that was like a persons own hell. At first glance, it was normal. But once you looked beneath the surface, you'd see things that you wish you hadn't seen. It wasn't paradise. It wasn't a place where a person could be quietly insane and talk to the voices. Stuff happens. And a lot of it was goin' down there."  
  
Petting an animal, (dog, cat, horse, whatever) was very soothing. Calmed the nerves. I had heard that doctors prescribed it to really stressed out folks. If I ever got to see those doctors, I think I'd like to shake their hands. Smart guys, some of them.  
  
"It wasn't the best place in the world to grow up. But I lived and learned. I got by, and then one night I escaped. Of course they came after me. They wouldn't let anyone escape if they could help it. I was chased for a good while before I finally lost them. I went to sleep, and when I woke up I found myself here. Quite a novelty, if you ask me. But I'd rather be anywhere here than there."  
  
I could feel his eyes on me, watching me. I hated rambling and spilling my guts. It was like offering up a sacrifice to heathen gods. If they accepted it, everything would be hunky-dory. If they denied it and got pissed, life wouldn't be the same until you managed to appease them. If you managed to appease them, that is.  
  
"Come. Let's get you back to your talan. You should at least try to sleep tonight." I patted Herumor's nose one last time before turning to follow Haldir.  
  
I noticed he had taken the lantern and when we got to the main doors, he blew out the light and set it on the very same hook I had gotten it from. Then he led me down the paths to my talan, where he climbed up with me. I sat on the bed while he pulled out one of my two chairs and sat in it. Facing me of course.  
  
"Why can't you sleep at night?" he asked.  
  
I shrugged and kicked off my shoes. He grimaced at my sloppyness.  
  
"Nightmares most times. Sometimes I just can't seem to get my brain to slow down." I shrugged. "I never did sleep real well." I pulled off my hoodie and got up to set it on the coat hooks. "It's not a sickness or anything of the sort. I just don't sleep well."  
  
I went over to the bed and flopped down.  
  
"What do you have nightmares about?" What was this, the Spanish Inquisition?  
  
"A lot of things." I rolled over onto my stomach and burried my head in the pillow. My next words came out all muffled, but I was sure he could hear them. Elven ears, after all. "Sometimes about the Institute and it's........ atmosphere. Sometimes just regular confusing as all get-out nightmares. Nuthin' special."  
  
I think he nodded, but I wasn't certain since I couldn't see him.  
  
"I'll leave you to your rest then." I heard the chair scrape against the floor and felt more than heard his moving across the room towards the door. He hesitated before really leaving though.  
  
"You would...... tell me if things got to be too much for you? Wouldn't you?"  
  
I rolled onto my back and sat up. He was staring at me rather intently.  
  
I slowly nodded.  
  
"Yeah. I would tell ya."  
  
He nodded and then was abruptly gone.  
  
I felt bad. I had lied to him. I couldn't tell him, or anyone really, about the nightmares. They scared me so much, practically reducing me to tears. There were some things that I just couldn't tell, no matter what you did, who did it, and at any price. It was something I would take to my grave.  
  
I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them. I started rocking back and forth, trying to console myself for what I had just done. Lying to one of the few friends that I had here.  
  
"I don't love how you love  
  
But please don't leave me here alone  
  
I don't feel how you feel  
  
Well it's my fault I'm bones  
  
I don't die how you die  
  
I can't just waste away  
  
You keep changing your life  
  
Every day."  
  
I hated lying to people that I knew and cared about. It wasn't right to lie to friends. It wasn't right to lie to family members.  
  
//"They're going to make everything better sweetie. Just listen to the nice doctors."//  
  
"If it burns I'll keep fueling the same dream  
  
If you fall I'll remember to save game  
  
I don't want your remedy  
  
I don't fall how you fall  
  
I won't hold on, you can't let go  
  
When it's pain that I feared  
  
I made you take it slow  
  
I don't cry how you cry  
  
There's nothing left in me  
  
You keep changing my life  
  
Every day."  
  
They had lied for so long, so long. I had trusted them, believed them every time, and they had betrayed me. How it had stung when one night I had finally realized what was going on. How it burned my stomach and made my heart feel like it would rip in two. Betrayal. It was only one word, but it encompassed so many feelings.  
  
"If it burns I'll keep fueling the same dream  
  
If you fall I'll remember to save game  
  
I don't want your remedy  
  
If it burns I'll keep fueling the same dream  
  
If you fall I'll remember to save game  
  
I don't want your remedy  
  
I don't want  
  
I don't need  
  
I don't want  
  
Remedy, yeah  
  
I don't want, remedy yeah."  
  
And now, I had just betrayed Haldir's trust. Would he feel the same burning in his stomach? The same pain as if his heart was being torn in two? Even little lies like the one I had just told could escalate into something bigger. I knew, because I had seen it happen. No good came of it.  
  
"If it burns I'll keep fueling the same dream  
  
If you fall I'll remember to save game  
  
I don't want your remedy  
  
If it burns I'll keep fueling the same dream  
  
If you fall I'll remember to save game  
  
I don't want your remedy."  
  
Why couldn't I have a normal life? Why couldn't Galadriel have stayed here and let me be? Why couldn't somebody else have gotten these thrice-dammed powers!! I don't WANT THEM!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Faulkner: that song was Remedy, by Cold from Year of the Spider. Eh, I'm in a crappy mood. Sorry for all this angst. But doesn't it give my character some, well.... character? I know, that was cheap. For those waiting for the next chapter of my other story, you'll have to wait a bit longer. I should have really been working on that one instead of this one, but inspiration was knocking for Free 2 Be Me. 


	21. Importante Note

Please go to my username place for updating info and the future of these stories.  
  
Much Love,  
  
Faulkner 


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